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I am really sorry for having to go through that. It sucks when the mind decides to create scenarios like that irregardless of your wishes.
However...
With all due respect and love... that caffeine is NOT helping you. I had to switch to decaf some time ago, and it does make a difference.
(I usually get the hairy eyeball from baristas when I ask if they have decaf coffee. "Yes, I know, kid. Back in the day, we baristas called a decaf latte with skim milk a 'why bother'... been there, done that. However, my body has decreed differently now, and this is how things are. Just tell me if you have it or not, thanks."
I hope you can find some peace from those nightmares. I will send what good vibes I can for you. 
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