The DU Lounge

Marie Marie

(10,735 posts)

40. The most valuable life lesson (and apparently - the one that took forever for me to learn) that I keep

Sat Nov 1, 2025, 12:29 PM

Nov 1

in my coping arsenal is this. When I am confronted by other's hurtful behavior, I immediately remind myself not to take their behavior personally. People do what they do because that is who they are. A therapist that I was seeing for a short stint during a rough patch in my life had this sign in her office: NOTHING IS EVER PERSONAL. Letting that finally sink deep into my brain was so freeing. I get up every day and make a conscious choice to try to be the best that I can be and let others make their own choices on how to go through life. Wish I had absorbed that simple wisdom years ago but I guess we get it when we get it. Stay YOU Lucky, we love ya like ya are!!

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

2 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

LuckyCharms snot

61 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

I've been estranged from my older sibling for 13 years. [View all] LuckyCharms Nov 1 OP

Don't blame yourself. Sometimes you need to step back from toxic relationships. Ritabert Nov 1 #1

I've been trying to reconcile this for a long time. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #2

He insulted us to our faces for no reason and that was it. Ritabert Nov 1 #7

That's how it happens. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #8

And now we're conserving money due to Trump Ritabert Nov 1 #9

Mine is only 190 miles... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #11

I guess it's worth a try at that distance. Ritabert Nov 1 #18

I am so sorry to hear this, my dear LuckyCharms . . . CaliforniaPeggy Nov 1 #3

Thank you...Dear Peggy. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #4

First of all, thank you for what you've done. You stood on the higher ground underpants Nov 1 #5

Underpants... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #6

❤️ underpants Nov 1 #16

Strength to you, LC. electric_blue68 Nov 2 #50

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Sometimes we have to throw our hands up, turn and walk away. ... marble falls Nov 1 #10

I've been up all night trying to figure out niece's taxes... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #12

Then don't. Delete it. Your peace of mind is much more valuable than the artificial social convention of having to ... marble falls Nov 1 #13

I just opened the letter... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #14

That sounds like an attempt at a peace offering. LisaM Nov 1 #21

It is an attempt. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #23

See post 26. You are a far kinder soul than I am, though. niyad Nov 1 #29

Always say 'thankyou!'. They never know what to say past 'you're welcome', and smoothly, you walk away. marble falls Nov 1 #43

can you have someone else read it Skittles Nov 1 #49

Choices ZDU Nov 1 #15

Could you have someone else read it? Tesha Nov 1 #17

My sister and I haven't spoken in a decade LittleGirl Nov 1 #19

Your husband is right DUgosh Nov 2 #51

Thanks. Appreciated. nt LittleGirl Nov 2 #54

I used to get letters from my brother to whom I haven't spoken now for 30 years. NNadir Nov 1 #20

My older sister hasn't talked to me in 2 years kimbutgar Nov 1 #22

Sorry to hear this. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #25

You're not destroyed you're a survivor. ❣️ live love laugh Nov 1 #24

Just to remind you that your DU family is here for you, so lean as hard niyad Nov 1 #26

Niyad, for years, I've always felt that if I am... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #38

Huggggggggs. Just remember that you are enough, exactly as you are. And niyad Nov 1 #39

Oh thank you. I tend to vent my spleen here... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #41

You have a wide variety of therapists here! Some are even professionals, niyad Nov 1 #44

It isn't your fault. pandr32 Nov 1 #27

I think I'm probably going to just tell them off. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #35

You, too. pandr32 Nov 1 #36

My unasked for, possibly wrong advice femmedem Nov 2 #53

I am very sorry for what you are going through, LuckyCharms Grim Chieftain Nov 1 #28

Thank you, and I don't envy you. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #30

I'm sorry that it took 13 years for them to reach out to you, Lucky Niagara Nov 1 #31

Thanks, Niagara. LuckyCharms Nov 1 #32

You have a huge heart, LuckyCharms.. Permanut Nov 1 #33

Do you have to read it? Marthe48 Nov 1 #34

Sadly familiar story to me. hay rick Nov 1 #37

Yep. OldBaldy1701E Nov 2 #52

The most valuable life lesson (and apparently - the one that took forever for me to learn) that I keep Marie Marie Nov 1 #40

The thing is... LuckyCharms Nov 1 #42

8 Ways Emotionally Intelligent People Deal With Toxic People Donkees Nov 1 #45

Good advice- people who have personality disorders always take things personally womanofthehills Nov 1 #46

That must have hurt terribly. snot Nov 1 #47

Such a sad thread. I was the older of two kids. My brother, 3 years younger, died when he was only 23... 3catwoman3 Nov 1 #48

Message auto-removed Name removed Nov 5 #55

welcome to DU RussBLib Nov 5 #56

Absolutely not. LuckyCharms Nov 5 #57

As cold as this may sound either 'return to sender' or throw it in the trash unopened. Tikki Nov 5 #58

I opened it. LuckyCharms Nov 5 #59

Dear friend, just hugs, I don't have advice, just cyber hugs irisblue Nov 5 #60

Thank you, irisblue. LuckyCharms Nov 5 #61