here’s a huge surprise: it turns out that Mad King Donny’s merry band of fascists are a bunch of incompetent fuckwits who can’t even do a police state right.

Donny is, of course, an impulsive imbecile who acts first and thinks never. his underlings have all been selected for loyalty over brains. so it’s only natural that a lot of fuckery they’ve been trying to perpetrate — the military occupations of cities, the mass arrests — has been badly planned and poorly executed. and now, much of it is starting to blow up in their big dumb faces. let’s all point and laugh at a few of their recent fuckups.

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topmost: it turns out that Assault With a Deadly Sandwich isn’t really a thing.

Sean Dunn is the dude who got into a shouting match with one of Donny’s uniformed goons in DC. the whole scene culminated with Dunn hurling a sandwich at the goon and running away. the very next day, he was all ‘how about I turn myself in,’ and America’s Tipsiest Fake TV Judge — who is now inexplicably the US Attorney for DC — was all ‘nah, how about we send dozens of storm troopers to your apartment and roughly drag you away in handcuffs, while TV cameras record it all.’

because, as always, it’s all about pageantry. it’s all about creating a show.