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love_katz

(3,048 posts)

37. A teacher for a psychology class made us question the reasons people give in favor of having kids.

Wed May 14, 2025, 01:33 AM

Yesterday

What we found was that most of the reasons people give don't make sense.
There's only one reason to decide to have children: you love them and are willing to spend the next 18 years per child (at a minimum) investing all of your time, money, and energy in order to give your kids the best launch into their own lives. You will commit to putting them first.
Not everyone is capable of doing that, and society should not guilt trip people into being parents if they don't want to make that commitment.
I agree that it appears that humans have exceeded the carrying capacity of the planet. The laws of physics are not going to be violated, just for the sole benefit of humans. Over 8 billion people and counting. It's not sustainable, and I believe that the other beings on this planet have a right to life. Systems that are built on endless uncontrolled growth are no more supportive of life than the disease cancer is. We need to find a better way, a sustainable way.

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Meowmee

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'Neither of us feel interested': More Americans don't want kids, and it's not just because of the money [View all] Diamond_Dog Tuesday OP

none of my 5 kids has kids. mopinko Tuesday #1

I never had the desire. I always thought there are too many kids that needed adopting and plenty of families having chowder66 Tuesday #2

So many women tell their stories on Reddit..mom pushed me to have kids Demovictory9 Tuesday #9

i wonder how much is not finding a partner or mopinko Tuesday #10

#2 reason I didn't want kids musette_sf Tuesday #19

After divorce, some exes arent accustomed to being fully respponsible for their own kids Demovictory9 Tuesday #21

Only one of my 4 children has kids Mossfern Yesterday #44

i think our moms hid the cost. mopinko Yesterday #47

Message auto-removed Name removed Yesterday #57

I *am* a grandmother Mossfern Yesterday #58

I don't think having kids is a key to happiness Buckeyeblue Tuesday #3

We have to ratchet down the population from 8 billion Ritabert Tuesday #4

Gobally, yes, we have to lower the population, BUT . . . markpkessinger Tuesday #20

Whatever happens it will be gradual Ritabert Tuesday #22

People act like there is no way for anyone to move outside of a country's border travelingthrulife Yesterday #46

The answer to that is.... viva la Yesterday #53

We gave the decision a lot of reflection. Torchlight Tuesday #5

You may not want kids, but Trump and the radtrads at Project 2025... keep_left Tuesday #6

Vance might change his mind if THE MOTHER gets the kids' votes karynnj Tuesday #7

It isn't happening. valleyrogue Tuesday #13

You're certainly correct about that. I probably should have worded... keep_left Tuesday #16

Watching Saturday soccer in 95 degree heat lame54 Tuesday #8

It USED to be rewarding and enjoyable for families back in the day...... Ziggysmom Tuesday #11

No it wasn't. valleyrogue Tuesday #12

There were at least 3 women in our middle class neighborhood who were abused Ritabert Tuesday #14

Agree. When I was younger, a visiting neighbor (with two grown daughters) broke allegorical oracle Yesterday #41

We never wanted kids and, 50+ years later, never regretted it. Vinca Tuesday #15

Same here. GoCubsGo Tuesday #18

I forgot about the babysitting. I hated it too. Vinca Tuesday #25

"we're talking cats and dogs.." DBoon Tuesday #31

More rich, white, privileged whites just need to learn skills and get out of their gated communities and work! Jit423 Tuesday #17

What counts as "real work" in your mind? Hekate Tuesday #24

Or --and this is one reason the US ha remained young in age and vital in ideas --welcome immigrants... Hekate Tuesday #23

Trust me. Having children didn't make my parents happy at all. no_hypocrisy Tuesday #26

People are planning their lives, fearing the future now bucolic_frolic Tuesday #27

We used to call them... JPK Tuesday #28

Yeah, sure beats being a SITCOM: Singe income, two children, oppressive mortgage. Xavier Breath Tuesday #29

Researchers Say Earth Is Headed for "Jaw-Dropping" Population Decline Norrrm Tuesday #30

I await this with bated breath, seeing as how the Earth has over 8 billion humans on it... Hekate Yesterday #49

Everything these days seems to be "jaw dropping" GenThePerservering Yesterday #51

Nice to see an article not promoting the money-is-the-only-motivation-both-sides-bad-neoliberal betsuni Tuesday #32

Not every Boomer is the same. love_katz Tuesday #33

I was criticizing those blaming Democrats and Boomers for all the wrongs of society. betsuni Yesterday #34

Thank you. love_katz Yesterday #36

I don't understand this since the world is vastly overpopulated Meowmee Yesterday #35

A teacher for a psychology class made us question the reasons people give in favor of having kids. love_katz Yesterday #37

What should alarm everyone here k_buddy762 Yesterday #38

Never had kids because I didn't think I'd be a good enough mom. But have been allegorical oracle Yesterday #39

What a stupid and insulting thing to say to another woman. Diamond_Dog Yesterday #40

Me either. Irony is that both of those women had horrible marriages in which allegorical oracle Yesterday #43

Sounds like they were jealous GenThePerservering Yesterday #50

My wife and I didn't have children Johnny2X2X Yesterday #42

What nonsense. There are 8 billion people in the world. There are people begging to be travelingthrulife Yesterday #45

The best reason there is. I don't want to. Mason Williams Ping Tung Yesterday #48

Not sure we need he 2.1 kids for the economy once AI comes into play. Pisces Yesterday #52

I think one important aspect of this campaign to encourage people to senseandsensibility Yesterday #54

I never wanted kids. Never felt any intense leftyladyfrommo Yesterday #55

Yes, it's your life and your decision senseandsensibility Yesterday #56

Some women prefer to use their brains more than their crotches synni 23 hrs ago #59