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NCgayguy

(63 posts)
58. Thank you for your reply.
Fri Apr 25, 2025, 04:18 PM
Apr 25

Dear Euterpe Thelo,

First, allow me to apologize for taking so long to respond to you. I had to step away from this conversation because I really am in deep mourning over the loss of the love of my life, My Tommy. Yes, I will often refer to him as My Tommy and I honestly don't care if anyone is annoyed with me saying his name like that. He is My Tommy. I honestly cannot put into words how deeply we were in love and became our OWN FAMILY, from the very second our eyes met. No pun intended (because we are a gay couple) but our love story was like a fairy tale. We were so blessed for 41 years.

I did read your post. I am so, so sorry to hear what you went through. I understand all your frustrations, pain and hardships. Having dealt with everyone from Doctors, Hospitals, Insurance Companies, etc... since My Tommy's stroke in 2019, I became very knowledgeable how the health industry works in real life. I learned to do things I never knew I could. I was a STRONG ADVOCATE for my husband and I will be honest, I was a total A$$hole if anyone tried to ignore, harm him or dropped the ball. I was fortunate that I had some very caring health care workers that provided me the resources from the stroke days that gave me a solid foundation for finding information. I was always the caregiver for our family, so most of it came naturally.

Having read the many different experiences that some have posted here, it's obvious, America's health care industry is a roulette wheel. Trust me when I say, "My heart breaks." to know the truth of how worse things will become. It's inevitable.

I hope you will eventually find peace knowing you did all you could for your loved one. It's difficult I know, I'm not there yet either.

May You Be Healthy, Safe and Happy!
Reis

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Kicking. n/t ChazII Apr 23 #1
Hospice care is one of the greatest services possible GulfofMexico Apr 23 #34
How sad the U.S. does not fund full hospice care. AloeVera Apr 23 #2
It's even worse if you don't have any family support Random Boomer Apr 23 #14
It shouldn't be that way. AloeVera Apr 23 #20
That is the boat I am now in CountAllVotes Apr 24 #49
hospice benefits CountAllVotes Apr 23 #3
That is bizarre - completely the opposite of my experience recently with hospice whopis01 Apr 23 #6
Our health care "system" sucks. That was one sad example and I am sorry 😞 Evolve Dammit Apr 23 #9
And it is not the fault of doctors and nurses. Just to clarify Evolve Dammit Apr 23 #11
it really sucks CountAllVotes Apr 23 #23
I am so sorry for him to have to put up with all that, and then pass. And your frustration. Your anger is justified. Evolve Dammit Apr 23 #30
You must have gotten hold of one of the few hospice folks with no empathy. lark Apr 23 #10
It has ruined my life! CountAllVotes Apr 23 #24
Must Rebl2 Apr 23 #18
There was no "choice" CountAllVotes Apr 23 #25
This matches my experience with my uncle Farmer-Rick Apr 23 #41
Thanks for sharing CountAllVotes Apr 24 #48
Oh, I feel ya EuterpeThelo Apr 23 #44
Damn! CountAllVotes Apr 24 #47
I had a bad experience with hospice too when my husband was dying maptap22 Apr 24 #53
I hope I have the courage to take assisted end of life if I ever get in a terminal cancer or 3Hotdogs Apr 23 #4
I lived through this with my Daddy. I miss him. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Apr 23 #5
Hospice was wonderful LittleGirl Apr 23 #7
Hospice care should seriously reduce suffering. Prairie_Seagull Apr 23 #8
Great health care system. Just wonderful. Mr. Mustard 2023 Apr 23 #12
I don't understand why people don't use MAID. Jacson6 Apr 23 #13
Where do you live? Random Boomer Apr 23 #15
This message was self-deleted by its author Ruby the Liberal Apr 23 #36
Sorry - self deleted. Ruby the Liberal Apr 23 #38
Never Rebl2 Apr 23 #19
Medical Assistance In Dying. It used to be called assisted suicide. n/t Jacson6 Apr 23 #21
There are only a handful of states that allow Death with Dignity Ruby the Liberal Apr 23 #37
MAID is only available/authorized drmeow Apr 23 #39
And republicans don't give a shit.......... joshdawg Apr 23 #16
I could not have survived my wife's cancer without the angels in hospice. bluescribbler Apr 23 #17
My Husband just died in Hospice in our home in Jan this year NCgayguy Apr 23 #22
Oh, my heart EuterpeThelo Apr 23 #45
Thank you for your reply. NCgayguy Apr 25 #58
This message hit me like a thunderbolt... Moostache Apr 23 #26
Big hug to you SARose Apr 23 #32
we had a horrible experience with in patient hospice when my mom was dying. Native Apr 23 #27
Mine was awful too CountAllVotes Apr 23 #28
My Grandpere spent the last month or so of his life in a hospice. It was a gift to us all... TygrBright Apr 23 #29
My Mother-In-Law passed in a hospice hospital SARose Apr 23 #31
Tom apparently was lucky enough to get into a good facility. totodeinhere Apr 23 #33
just hope to die painlessly in my sleep CountAllVotes Apr 24 #50
The VA is a Federal Agency, but soldierant Apr 23 #35
I want to die in Italy JustAnotherGen Apr 23 #40
I can't imagine how my experience with Hospice could have been any better than it was. jackcrow2001 Apr 23 #42
I'm so afraid of that time in my life Tickle Apr 23 #43
God Bless You blueinredLa Apr 23 #46
Welcome to DU LetMyPeopleVote Apr 24 #56
I took care of my husband at home. The hospice nurse came a few times to make sure everything was ok. TommieMommy Apr 24 #51
I had no idea there was such drastic variation in the quality of hospice services! ShazzieB Apr 24 #52
In patient hospice even if it is good costs a fortune and is not fully covered if at all Meowmee Apr 24 #54
If there is a trick to get the best care one can, Prairie_Seagull Apr 24 #55
I bought my wife and sons copies of the book "That Good Night" as this is how I expect to die. NNadir Apr 25 #57
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»"But They Are Dying." Hos...»Reply #58