You have probably heard that the National Rifle Association (NRA) has published a couple of revised fairy tales, specifically Little Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel, to emphasize the security and safety that come from carrying a firearm. Not unexpectedly, the liberal, anti-gun lobby has jumped all over the NRA for this creative effort to convey the true story about firearms.

Of course, the NRA is right on target. Firearms ensure peace. My only quibble is that the NRA aimed too low. Why fairy tales? Why not make use of the greatest story ever told to talk about the greatness of guns? Herewith my suggestions for how beloved New Testament stories can be respectfully rewritten to bring home the NRA’s valuable lesson:

Miracle of the Guns and Ammo

When the crowds learned that Jesus was heading to the gun show, they followed him, hoping to hear his word and buy weapons he might recommend. However, Caesar had recently issued a decree banning gun show sales. As the disappointed crowd filed into the parking lot, Jesus’s disciples came to him and said, we have but two guns and five bullets to share with this crowd. But Jesus blessed the guns and bullets and bade his disciples to set them before the crowd, and all left satisfied with a choice weapon and a full magazine.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ronald-a-lindsay/the-new-testament-as-rewr_b_9562466.html