I have dealt with chronic pain since '65. I have had ups and downs(the downs you remember most). While everyone you know can understand a bad hair day, a toothache--even a broken leg they assume you will heal and be good as new. It's when you never quite recover,have many bad episodes that they either feel uncomfortable asking how you are or perhaps think you are perhaps having a long pity party. It is worse for those who have problems that are not visible. It's not an age factor nor one of gender and I have not seen where one condition gets more or less understanding then another.
They ask how you are and you may say ok(it's a stretch but just a small lie) however five minutes later you feel like an anvil has landed on your most sensitive areas. Nerve endings rage day(and always worse at night). Weather can make it worse as can any mild activity. Other times agony arrives with no explaination at all. Meds may help but many think it a crutch and often times they still do little more then a handful of gummi bears. Your social life is nill. Often times you find it better to seek out the comfort of four walls where you don't have to explain your pain to others as a reason for not going out or even having company.
It can be a long lonely road at times in a society where it is assumed there is always a magic pill to get you back 100%. Your goals are best in small doses as should be your bad days. One must think of a better day ahead or perhaps one you may have had a day or so ago. Even hospitals simplify your pain with their number system "describe your pain from 1-10". How can you describe it when it is off the charts? How can you explain that you have several numbers of pain at the same time?
I have found it best to find a pain buddy--someone like you who has chronic pain and understands the yo-yo effect,who knows flare ups,crashes and lends an ear when you need it most. Talking and sharing is great medicine.
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