I'm taking a deep breath and asking for help to face my fears [View all]

My only sister is fighting her 4th battle with cancer. Started as breast cancer about 15 years ago and she was free and clear until November 2010. She had another mastectomy and did chemo. Everything seemed ok. Then it showed up in a lymph node in her neck. More chemo, radiation and all was going well until recently when it is now in her brain, in the myelin.

They've had to pause the radiation, to let her blood count recover. She's on an oral chemo.

I talked to her today and she broke down, telling me that she doesn't think she will survive this round. I did my best to pep talk her and she seemed better, by the end of the conversation. But I am terrified of losing my best friend.

Chris is just 54, with a wonderful husband and 3 great kids. I feel guilty as hell because she has so much more to live for. I don't even know what I'm asking for - maybe just input from others in a similar situation.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble. This has just been a really, really rough day.