Disability

Experiencing the decline of a spouse into Alzheimer's is so terribly hard, partly because you feel so alone. I took care of both my parents through their decline and death with dementia. I have always thought it would be even harder if the patient was your spouse.

The first thing I would say is, take your time. You need to recover a bit from the emotional and physical toll of taking care of a loved one with Alzheimers. Nothing makes you feel more stressed and even despairing than that. It will take a while to come back to yourself.

Second, if you're worried about your own mental state, you can get checked out by a neurologist. Getting a medical opinion will help to free you from the stress of wondering. It will also connect you with a network of services that can help guide you no matter what the outcome of the testing.

You can also talk with a doctor or therapist about the heart-rending grief and confusion that comes with taking care of someone you love who has Alzheimer's. It took me about five years to get my mental and physical equilibrium back after taking care of my parents.

If you're feeling isolated there are groups you can meet with who have been through the reality of Alzheimer's caregiving. You can find them through the Alzheimer's Association. http://www.alz.org You can probably find a group somewhere near you.

Good luck to you, clydefrand.