when that is in the back of the mind, then conditions of what is feminine is forefront. and that is where the writing gets contaminated.
but if you stay true to the character of the woman, then she cannot be unfeminine simply for the fact she is woman and feminine.
i am very aggressive, some gals have said intimidating and i don't try at all nor want to be. in so many ways i perceive myself as not feminine just from the definitions of what feminism is. years ago i had said something to my mother about not being and she corrected me right away that just was not true. the essence of who i am is very much feminine.
years later, without thinking about this, i had said something to a man about not really being feminine (the defined perspective) and he corrected me immediately, telling me it was not so. absolutely wrong. he is just a male friend, hubbys best friend, very male, repug, fox news watching. we often talk about the gender issues. so not about making me feel good.
it just is not something i am concerned with so never really thought much about it. but, it told me that wherever the feel of feminine comes from, it is not about strong, aggressive, competent women, regardless of what we are being told.
interesting post.