X-post from GD. Need advice on daughter coming out to grandparents [View all]

Need advice on daughter coming out to grandparents

I will cross post in LGBT.

My daughter is gay and under 18. Of course we’re cool with that. The in-laws (all of them) are coming into town this week. The grandparents are in their 80’s and they know almost nothing of LGBT. We may think it’s on peoples’ radar but it’s not, at least with the grandfather.

The grandfather also has limited heart function. My wife is very concerned that it could be too much for him.

My daughter feels as though she’s living a lie to them. They live a good distance away so we don’t see them but maybe 2-3 a year. We are planning on going to the grandparents (and brother in laws) area at Christmas. We are trying to convince our daughter to wait until the grandparents are at their home and not hundreds of miles from it.

My wife and I have a dilemma:
Convince her to wait.
If she doesn’t want to, should we tell the grandparents ahead of time. I know I know that’s us outing her but see health concerns above.

They will be here in 4 days. Thoughts?