My son's birthday was yesterday. [View all]

No, he wasn't born yesterday, he turned 37. That was a momentous day for me, many years ago, and I spent some time last night reflecting on that day and some of the effects it has had on my life.

The best memory of the day is when I actually saw my son, and beheld the wonder of a newborn, the miracle of a new life, the feeling of "Oh, my God, this is wonderful". Just the totally awe-inspiring moment of what could be. And, at the same time, one of the bigger regrets of my life--I had never held a newborn before, and I didn't hold him when I had the chance that first day (he went into surgery later that day, and it was 2 weeks before we could hold him).

I remember my brother because of the time we spent together that day, and and what he meant to me (he passed away later that same year). I thought about the love we had for each other, but never let show. I don't remember ever hugging my brother, or getting a hug from him. As far as that goes, I don't remember any type of expression of affection for each other, other than sharing good times together.

From my brother, I thought about Dad, and to one things in my life I am proud of. I don't remember my father ever showing affection for me, or my brother. He wasn't raised in that way, and he carried it over into his adult life. The good memory is the night I gave him a hug, and told him how much I cared for him. Only one hug, and he didn't know what to make of it, but it made me feel good, and I hope it made him feel good, too.

I have to say how proud I am of my son. He has brought a lot of joy, a lot of changes into my life, and has made me a better person for being here.

I just can't believe how long ago he was born!!