Men's Group

and I couldn't quite figure out how to do it without writing a novel but I'll try...

I never really got to enjoy my childhood because I was raised by an abusive father and a domineering/abusive mother. I spent most of the days of my childhood figuring out how to avoid getting the crap beat out of me with a belt by my dad or being belittled and made to feel ashamed by my mom.

One of the easier chores I had as a kid was to take the trash out. There was a particular way the trash was to be assembled to be taken to the curb. I had to put 2 white kitchen trash bags into a large green lawn trash bag before it was set to the curb. One particular morning I grabbed my dad's jacket on the way out the door because it was cold outside, but I figured it wouldn't take long and I'd be right back in so I just grabbed the first coat I saw. When I got back inside my dad was waiting for me with his belt in his hand and I was beat black and blue because I used his coat and now it supposedly smelled like garbage.

When I was about 10 some neighbor kids parents were taking them to the zoo and they wanted me to go along. I ran home and asked my mom and I was absolutely elated when she said yes. Well, we left around 9:00 am and and got back that afternoon around 2 pm. I went home to tell my mom about all the animals I had seen but before I got a chance to tell her she had been thinking of extra chores for me to do while I was gone. Evidently, since I was having fun earlier in the day it had to be countered by work. I had to go upstairs and strip the beds, wash down the bed frames, launder the sheets, and remake the beds.

I could go on and on for hours about some of this stuff but, like I said, I don't want to turn it into a book.

I didn't really find a good paying job until I was about 25, but when I did I was able to get an apartment and move out on my own. What freedom I felt! I could take as long of a shower as I wanted. I could sit down and read a book for as long as I wanted to and not have to worry about what the punishment was gong to be for not being productive. I could go to a restaurant and order anything I wanted and take as long as I wanted to eat it. My time was truly my own!

I joined a gym and started running. Freedom! I took road trips to neighboring towns just because I wanted to. I started traveling to other states just to say I had been there. Talk about finally having a childhood! After years I was free!

My dad died a few years ago and I have never missed him. Not once! I went to his funeral and when everyone bowed their heads for a prayer I was thanking God for finally ridding me of that asshole! My sisters and I are now taking turns taking care of our mom because she's in her 80's and can't get around very well. It's easier now because while she can still be domineering I can brush it off and go on about my business and not have to think about it until it's my turn again. I'll be 100% honest and say that when she's gone I don't think I will miss her either.

I guess my adult life has been lived trying to relive my childhood and do all the things I didn't get to do back then without some sort of punishment.

Thanks for posting this thread and giving me a chance to vent. It's been quite cathartic!