Men's Group

In my early 40's, I lost everything. I was self-employed, married for 15 years, and generally quite healthy. I underwent surgery and chemo. My wife left me for another man as she didn't want to clean up my vomit but rather have fun partying (that was her mid-life!). I could no longer work so I had to go on state aid and medicaid. But I made it through it all.

Now in my late 40's I am doing things I also always wanted to do as a young boy and man but never got the chance to. I am left with a lot of pain and the need for medication probably for the rest of my life, but I always wanted to get a black belt. I found a wonderful teacher in Shorin Ryu Karate who has been working with me now for a few years. He has helped me to modify what I need to but also keeps me pushing through the obstacles on the way to my goal. I am still a ways off but I am hopeful I will get the black belt by my early 50's.

I have been a musician playing piano and violin since I was 5 and 8 respectively. But I always wanted to play the lap steel guitar and the bass guitar. So I am doing so now. I have only been at it a few months but I am having so much fun figuring out running blues bass lines and am currently working on Sleepwalk, one of my favorite older lap steel numbers.

Lastly, I have always had severe allergies and so as a boy, I could never have a dog or a cat. I suffered so badly I couldn't even have a hamster. The wonderful woman I now share my life with is amazing with animals and a few years ago, she brought home a few hairless rats. I fell in love with the little fellas. Since then, we expanded to several cages and then got some females. And recently we have begun breeding them. Rats are amazing little creatures - friendly, smart, and playful. It is a joy every day to interact with them having never had a chance to have even one pet as a child.

I am back working, having rebuilt my private practice fairly well the last few years, and I definitely tell my 40+ clients that it is never, ever too late to redo and relive your childhood. One of the joys of being an adult with maturity and experience is the fact that we can confidently find ways to do so even with the limitations that may come with age and experience.

Hats off to you and thanks for starting a great topic of discussion.