*sigh* [View all]

Scenario: Living room. TV is on. Wife is hanging clothes on a drying rack in the living room. She is mostly listening to the TV, while I am watching.

M = me
W = wife

W: Oh Jesus, Vance is on TV

M: Yeah.

W: What's his real name? What's the JD stand for?

M: James David

Vance says some horseshit, while she is hanging clothes.

W: Oh shut the fuck up, you fucking asshole (referring to whatever Vance said).

The screen now shifts to Gov. Pritzker refuting whatever Vance said.

My wife was oblivious that the screen had switched to Pritzker. And Pritzker was of course saying something reasonable. She was working hard on hanging the clothes and was likely not really listening. She still stewing about whatever Vance said.

W: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. I'M SICK OF YOUR SHIT (she was talking to the TV while not looking at it).

M: That Pritzker talking now, not Vance.

W: What?

M: That was Pritzker, not Vance.

W: So?

M: You just swore at Pritzker, thinking it was Vance.

W: No I didn't.

M: I just heard you.

W: I didn't say a word!

M: Yes you did, and loudly too.

W: I didn't say a word! You're hearing things.

M: No, you said it.

W: Something is wrong with you. I'm minding my own business here, I didn't say anything.

M: a long sigh.

W: I think you should have your primary care check you out. You're hearing things.

M: Sigh.

W: I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!!

M: You did...but OK. Forget it. It's not important.

W: No really, why did you say I said something when I didn't?

M: Sigh.

W: I didn't say anything!!!!

M: OK!!!!!! It's not important. Forget it.

W: I think you're hearing things.

M: I started doing my Goodfella's imitation: No you said it! What's funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Like I'm a clown? I'm here to amuse you?

W: What are you talking about?

M: Nothing. It's a Goodfella's imitation.

W: You used to be funny.

M: I still am funny.

W: No you're not.

M: You're right. I stopped being funny the day I got married and you sucked all the joy out of me.

W: Haha. You're hilarious

M: Well I used to be....

W: Just so you know, I didn't say a word when Pritzker was talking.

M: Yes you did, plain as day

W: No I didn't.

M: sigh

W: No really, I didn't say anything...

Typical Sunday here. we banter like this all day. I think she knows exactly what she said, knew she made a mistake, and then tried to cover it up by making it seem like I'm the one who can't hear with my own two ears.

I think she's just busting me today for some nominal excitement, trying to get a rise out of me, so don't take any of this seriously.

I think.

Forum hosts: I'm thinking this is not a political post. It's just that the characters in this idiotic scene happen to be political figures. That's why I posted this in the lounge.