I'd like to take a few minutes to update you on Linda. The rehab facility will be discharging her to our apartment this coming Monday so, between now and then, I will have to figure out what I need to get done around here before she comes home and then do it. This morning we met with her orthopedic surgeon and his PA. He was pleased with the outcome of the surgery on her right upper arm. She still has pain in her right shoulder but she does have some mobility and some of that arm. He then discussed what options she had regarding surgery on her left upper arm. It was at this time that it was confirmed (although, as Linda put it, this was an 'unofficial' confirmation coming from her surgeon) that she does have bone cancer. He told her to make an appointment with her oncologist. In the meantime, he is planning to contact her oncologist and confer with her and (I'm guessing come to a general consensus / recommendation regarding surgery on her left arm) before we meet with him again in two weeks. He did tell us that surgery on her left arm would be more difficult /risky because of the multiple breaks, the bones where the breaks occurred were skewed and the bone is, as he described it, "moth-eaten".
This afternoon Linda and I discussed what we learned from her surgeon this morning. She is leaning to not having the surgery done. I'm suggesting that she should and I gave her three good reasons: 1. It would reduce to some extent the pain she has in that arm, 2. The rod would stiffen / strengthen that bone to some extent and 3. She would have some limited use of that arm rather that not at all. We also spent about 10 to 15 minutes talking about the likely (final) outcome. Right now, she's more concerned about me and what I'm going to do after she passes on (so typical of her).
So I would like to ask ... if anyone here has had to prepare for a loved one's passing some time beforehand how did you prepare for it. I have no experience in a situation like this one. I was estranged from my family when my father passed in '94 (a family friend had to notify me). I was out of town at a remote jobsite when my mother passed in '99. Linda told me she was dead and buried by the time got back home.
So ... again, I thank you all so very much for your kindnesses, concerns and compassion.
Brian
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