Jeff Tiedrich - actual antichrist really hopes they let him into heaven [View all]

can you imagine Donny Convict’s vulgar and childish vision of heaven? tasteless gold filigree everywhere. ethereal golf courses, as far as the eye can see. every shot is a hole-in-one.

God — big, strong, with the tears in his eyes — calls him ‘sir,’ and asks for tips on his swing. every angel looks like Walt Nauta and serves him Diet Cokes from golden platters. not a windmill in sight. no sharks, either.

all the women look like Ivanka.

no wonder the stupid shit is so horny to get there.