The Onion - Trump Grants Refugee Status To Former SS Guards [View all]

WASHINGTON—Condemning what he described as the disturbing and unjust treatment of the group, President Donald Trump granted refugee status this week to former SS guards. “The discrimination these people are facing is absolutely sick—they’re literally hunting them down,” said Trump, who greeted the small group of centenarians on the tarmac at Dulles International Airport and invited them back to the White House for an official welcome ceremony. “It’s targeted violence. The Schutzstaffel have been treated very unfairly for just doing their jobs. Their land was seized and turned into concentration camp museums. That’s why it’s so important that we get them all into the United States, where they can rest assured they won’t be discriminated against.” At press time, Trump was reportedly thanking senior advisor Elon Musk for bringing the plight of the Nazi people to the world’s attention.

https://theonion.com/trump-grants-refugee-status-to-former-ss-guards/