The Borowitz Report: TBR's Traitor of the Week [View all]
Last edited Sun Feb 23, 2025, 07:34 PM - Edit history (1)

Link:
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/introducing-tbrs-traitor-of-the-week
Note: Borowitz's "Sunday Read" is a longer column of a more serious nature, unlike his daily satirical stories.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines quisling as a traitor. The Britannica dictionary offers a somewhat more specific definition: a person who helps an enemy that has taken control of his or her country. Youd have to be pretty heinous to have a word like that named after you, but Vidkun Quisling, the Nazi collaborator who led Norway during Hitlers occupation, deserved it. Tried in Oslo for treason and a shitload of other crimes, he was executed in 1945.
Norwegians might hate me for saying this, but I think its time to give quisling an update because, right here in the United States of America, we have an embarrassment of traitors crying out for such enshrinement.
Today, Im introducing a new TBR Sunday Read feature: Traitor of the Week. In addition to finding a replacement for quisling in the dictionary, I hope to provide an important public service.
When the current fascist regime ruling the US comes to an endas all things dothere will be tribunals in which the worst traitors will be held to account, much as Vidkun Quisling was in Oslo. Winnowing the list of Trumps many enablers will be arduous, time-consuming work. By shining a light on the most egregious of the lot, I hope to assist whoever is ultimately assigned that daunting task.
- more at link -
Outstanding essay! I look forward to Borowitz's future Sunday efforts.
EDIT TO ADD:
As hard as I tried, i couldn't get an archived link to the 2nd part of the Report, the one that names the Traitor or the Week. So here's the guy:

Bessents nomination as Treasury Secretary drew praise from many in the business community, who found his decades-long career in mainstream finance reassuring. At any rate, he wasnt plucked off the couch at Fox & Friends.
And he wasnt a raving MAGA ideologue, eitherhed even had a stint working for the GOPs most-despised liberal supervillain, George Soros. While running Soross London office in 1992, he made a shrewd bet against the British pound which wound up costing the UK billions and helped put a fork in the Conservative government.
After Trump tapped Bessent, Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, president of the Yale Chief Executive Institute, called the nomination a huge relief, adding, "Bessent is reasonable and pragmatic. He easily won Senate confirmation, by a vote of 68 to 29, with the support of 16 Democrats.
Bessent sure didnt seem like the kind of guy whod then turn around and give Elon Musks computer-science dropouts unprecedented access to the US Treasurys computers.
That development sufficiently alarmed five former Treasury SecretariesRobert Rubin, Lawrence Summers, Timothy Geithner, Jacob Lew, and Janet Yellento impel them to write a New York Times opinion piece entitled, Our Democracy Is Under Siege.
- more at link, but only available to paid subscribers -