"A killer on the road, his brain is squirmin' like a toad"...Trump turns the pre-Epstein vote propaganda spigot on high [View all]

America's favorite rapin' grampy was busy last night, tweeting up a storm on his Twitter rip-off site. I usually decline when it comes to NAMING HIS ACTUAL SITE, because every time it goes in print on the Internet, it's "brand reinforcement."

If you're like me and you just woke up, you know two things:

1). Trump is "encouraging R's to vote to release the files, because it will show he has nothing to hide: 'It's time to move on': Trump calls on House GOP to vote to release the Epstein files

2). And, after doing so, he issued a flurry of tweets, re-confirming his belief that he is Jesus, come to walk among us again in human form: Trump, 79, Launches Late-Night Pity Party After Humiliating Epstein Reversal

I'm not going to share ANY OF IT, because it's ALL a regurgitation of his "NEW GOLDEN AGE" nonsense, although you will be THRILLED to learn that prices will start coming down "sometime in 2026." That's just super. If he can yank back tariffs and get us ANYWHERE NEAR a Biden-era economy BEFORE THE MIDTERMS, he can take ANOTHER victory lap as the savior of humanity. And we, the great unwashed masses, are CLEARLY TOO IGNORANT to decipher the moves in his MACHIAVELLIAN GAME OF 4-D CHESS.

The more astute among us will conclude that if he REALLY FELT SO GOOD about releasing the files, he wouldn't have spent the dusk hours building a bigly yuge case for himself as the president who makes Washington and Lincoln look like the fuckin' punks they really were. He would have said "Go ahead, release the files, I have nothing to hide," and he would have done the Netflix and chill thing, gone to bed, or done just about anything other than tweeting for hours about how great he is and how great the economy is, right now, because of him.

He also re-tweeted this, an unintentional nod to Richard Nixon's "Checkers" speech: