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The Weasel Spotters Field Manual
A Practical Guide for Those Who Suspect Everything and Everyone (Correctly)
1. The Prime Directive: Assume the Weasel
What are these weasels up to now? Jeremy Paxman
Begin every inquiry with suspicion, but dont confuse suspicion with cynicism.
The goal is not paranoia; its pattern recognition with moral purpose.
Every institution will insist its the exception. It isnt.
2. Field Signs and Droppings
Weasels rarely appear in the open. Look for:
Sudden opacity: formerly public data becoming restricted for security reasons.
Overly smooth language: safeguards, transparency, and ethics board are often camouflage.
Technical bafflegab: the more impenetrable the jargon, the likelier the rot.
Selective audits: audits that never seem to find anything meaningful.
The charisma trap: a genius, a visionary, a saviour. Always a red flag. Yeah, exactly who you think I might be talking about
3. The Kit Bag
Essential equipment for the lone investigator:
A notebook and a second real notebook you never write names in.
Freedom of Information laws.
Open-source data tools (OSINT, procurement databases, WHOIS lookups).
A trusted network of fellow spotters: lawyers, coders, moral philosophers, and the eternally disenchanted.
A humour supply portable, renewable, and life-saving.
4. Rules of Engagement
1. Never accuse before you can demonstrate.
2. When they call you a conspiracy theorist, youre likely to be one document away from vindication. Plenty of shrapnel but still no smoking gun.
3. Always ask: Who benefits if this fails in precisely this way?
4. Follow the money remains a universal solvent.
5. When confronted by a billionaire, imagine them as a small child hiding crumbs behind their back. The dynamic is identical.
5. Psychological Survival
Expect exhaustion. The weasels have better lawyers.
Celebrate small, verifiable wins.
Keep perspective: cynicism is how the weasel wins inside your own head.
Cultivate solidarity. The lone spotter is vulnerable; the pack is formidable.
6. Closing Invocation
We do not hunt weasels to destroy them,
but to keep the meadow honest.
