General Discussion

this asshole who lived on my hallway was stealing my morning newspaper and not even pretending to conceal what he was doing. He was buddies with the entire HOA/condo association and when I complained they laughed me out of the room and told me it was none of their business.

So I knocked on his door and when he answered I told him that as far as I was concerned, he was in charge of me receiving my newspaper or, failing that, I would see to it that for whatever years he might have left, not a day would go by that he would not realize the mistake he made of me opening the door to no newspaper. When he smiled and said “what are you going to do?” I told him that my gangster patients and some of my roofer union guys had told me that if anyone gets on my nerves, just give them the name, because sometimes they don’t have anything planned on Friday or Saturday and need something to do.

I never missed my paper after that and the HOA assholes wouldn’t look up when I walked past.