OMG: Trump responds to viral Kristi Noem controversy - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

BTC: Donald Trump weighs in on Kristi Noem's new scandal, which makes sense. I hear he likes to stay a breast of these things. This is just another day.

At this point, most people are aware of the news involving Kristi Noem's husband, but now Donald Trump has decided to weigh in.

[cut to video from Fox News]
Host: President Trump tells the outlet he knew nothing about it, adding, "Wow, I feel badly for the family. If that's the case, that's too bad."

[cut to studio]
BTC: Wow, that statement is just oozing with sympathy. But I guess when Donald Trump is addressing a story about boobs, we should keep our expectations low.

[cut to video from Inside Edition]
Reporter: Host Robin Leach asked about their daughter Tiffany, who was then just a year old.

Robin Leach: Now, Donald, what does Tiffany have of yours? And what does Tiffany have of Marla's?

Trump: Well, I think that she's got a lot of Marla. She's really a beautiful baby and she's uh she's got um she's got Marla's legs. We don't know whether or not she's got this part yet, but time will tell.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Ah, sorry. That clip is kind of a tangent. Let's get back to how gross this guy is. [inset image of Bryon Noem]

Look, I get it. The fact that Brian Noem likes to put on spandex and shove big balloons down the front of his shirt is not everybody's idea of normal. But to be fair, neither is spelling the name Brian. B R Y O N. But let's hear a little bit about how this all went down.

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: According to the report, Bryon got in touch with a model using the pseudonym Jason Jackson. That's what he calls himself.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Jason Jackson. Kind of an odd pick for a name, but whatever. I'm sure Mr. Noem did a quick Google search to make sure that you know if word got out there wouldn't be any confusion between him and any real people named Jason Jackson who might be offended.

[cut to video]
Boxing Announcer: He is the defending Bellator Welterweight World Champion. The ass kicking machine Jason Jackson.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Oh boy. Uh, look, I'm obviously no expert on pseudonyms that one should choose when using a fetish site, considering I go by Taylor Swift on clowntown.com, but I think it's in everyone's best interest to avoid someone whose nickname is…

[inset video]
Boxing Announcer: …the ass kicking machine.

BTC: But maybe that's just me. But I have to say, I really truly do not care about whatever crazy kinks Bryon Noem or anyone else for that matter gets into in the privacy of their own home. It's none of my business and I'm not exactly sure why any of this is really even relevant.

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: It's relevant. It's It's obviously very salacious, but it's relevant because the reason if we had known this, she never would have been confirmed for this post is it makes her subject to blackmail. It makes her subject to blackmail because if the Daily Mail can find these pictures and this fetish by her married husband, uh, so can our adversaries.

[cut to studio]
BTC: And here I was thinking we need to fear Iran getting nukes when the real threat is them getting nudes. But I feel like there's something deeper going on here besides Megyn Kelly's fear of terrorists getting a hold of these disastrous boob bombs.

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: You know, it's not like when it used to be like Playboy and Penthouse and like a man would see a couple dirty pictures and read a a dirty forum and move on with his business. Like it's everywhere. It's everywhere. And any kink you have can be indulged, including like this. I mean, this is a form of cheating.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Ah, that's it. It's the cheating. That's what's truly reprehensible. Marriage is a sacred vow and when you take it, you honor it. And if there's one person who can't abide by someone cheating on their spouse these days, it's Megyn Kelly.

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: Now, keep in mind in this picture, Pete knows he's been accused by this woman of rape a month earlier, whom he admits he had sex with, while Jen here on the right was home nursing their baby. And wife number two had just left him or just just filed for divorce. It really comes down to does character matter for the guy leading the military? Does it matter for the commander-in-chief? Do Trump's moral failings stop him from being a good commander-in-chief? I don't think so. I mean, I just don't think we're just not living in those days anymore.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Yep. Those days are long gone. The same way boomers are sitting around explaining to their kids that this is what a phone used to look like and this is what that actor from Shrinking used to look like, they're also telling them tales of days gone by when having multiple affairs and being accused of sexual assault were considered disqualifying factors to lead our nation's military. So for Megyn Kelly, it's the cheating and the possibility of blackmail. Anything else?

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: Bryon telling this one model that the Daily Mail made contact with that she inspired him to dress like a girl. "You turn me into a girl. Should I put on leggings?" No. For the love of God, do not put on the leggings because those pictures may be even more disturbing than the enormous fake breast Kayla Lemieux wannabe photos. I mean, honestly, that's what he looks like. That level of breast enhancement and perversion.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Oh, it's just perverted. That's what grosses Megyn Kelly out about all of this. You know, it's just a shame that Megyn can't offer up the same level of grace to Bryon Noem as she does to oh, I don't know, convicted rapists.

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: As for Epstein, I've said this before, but just as a reminder, I do know somebody very, very close to this case who is in a position to know virtually everything. That Jeffrey Epstein in this person's view was not a pedophile. This is this person's view who was there for a lot of this, but that he was into the barely legal type. Like, he liked 15 year-old girls, that he wasn't into like 8 year olds, but he liked the very young teen types that could pass for even younger than they were but would look legal.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Gosh, if only Bryon Noem had been into something more acceptable, like barely legal girls, all of this negativity could have been avoided. Now, this is obviously a tough time for the entire Noem family. Kristi, Brian, Cory, Lewandowski, which is why the former head of DHS released this statement.

[cut to video from Fox News]
Brett Baier: Former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem is asking for privacy and prayers tonight. She's said to be devastated by a report alleging her husband has been what is being called a cross-dressing double life.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Look, I get it. I can't imagine what it must have been like in the Noem household to wake up next to your spouse and barely recognize them and then for the stuff to come out about her husband, too. But once again, I don't give a about what Bryon Noem wants to get into in the privacy of his own home. People should be able to live freely and take part in anything they want that gets him off. And I don't mean that tongue and cheek. Everybody's got their thing. That's okay. The problem is the right in this country does not feel the same way.

For decades, the conservative movement in America has spent thousands and thousands of hours and millions of dollars preaching the virtues of good, wholesome, traditional family values and decrying anyone who didn't live by their sin-free standard of living. For years, Kristi Noem's party has vilified the exact type of person that she is married to. Which is why this is now a giant fucking scandal.

For Republicans, a man with a private consensual kink is grounds for shame and derision. But if your kink is lunching with a convicted pedophile on their private island. [inset image of Howard Lutnick]

[cut to video from C-SPAN]
Reporter: Do you still feel comfortable working with Secretary Lutnick after the new ties to Jeffrey Epstein?

Kevin Hassett: Secretary Lutnick is one of my best friends in the whole wide world, so I'm very comfortable working with him.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Of course you do. Because for people on the right, these are the sickos who deserve to be ostracized [inset image of Noem in fake boobs], not these sickos. [inset image of Trump and Epstein]

And I find it pretty rich that Kristi is asking for privacy at this time, considering when she was the director of Homeland Security, neither she nor her party thought it was worth offering that same level of privacy to others. They didn't think Liam Ramos's family deserved it.

[cut to video from C-SPAN]
Congressman: He's wearing a blue bunny hat. Let me ask you, did Liam commit a crime?

Kristi Noem: Uh. Liam was not detained. His father was. Um and his father abandoned him.

[cut to studio]
BTC: They didn't think Renee Good's family deserved it.

[cut to video from Fox News]
Jesse Watters: The woman who lost her life was a self-proclaimed poet from Colorado with pronouns in her bio. A 37year-old white woman named Renee Good. The Daily Mail says she leaves behind a lesbian partner and a child from a previous marriage.

[cut to video from Fox & Friends]
Ainsley Earhardt: She moved to Minneapolis last year and she linked up with this anti-ICE activist group through her six-year-old son's woke charter school apparently.

[cut to video from NewsMax]
Reporter: The ideology of those like Renee and Rebecca Good is a close cousin to those authoritarians who simply made up the laws or enforced only the laws that aligned with the agenda of the elites.

[cut to video CBS News]
Kristi Noem: This was an act of domestic terrorism.

[cut to studio]
BTC: And they didn't think Alex Pretti's family deserved it either.

[cut to video]
Podcaster: Just because someone's a nurse doesn't make them a good person. According to Pretti's ex-wife, he was involved in the George Floyd protest in Minnesota. He's been like this for years. This tells me he's a sheep. He easily falls for media propaganda. Can't think for himself. He's probably quadruple vaxed and boosted up. Highly emotional, clearly. Physically violent, clearly, and armed, clearly.

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: I know I'm supposed to feel sorry for Alex Pretti, but I don't.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Yeah, we kind of guessed that before you even started talking. Honestly, I'm sure that Kristi Noem is going through a lot right now, but asking for privacy after the shit she pulled. Sorry, but to me, that's the real…

[cut to video from The Megyn Kelly Show]
Megyn Kelly: Perversion.

[cut to studio]
BTC: Exactly.