Bereavement
Related: About this forumMy twin sister died yesterday.
She fought like hell but she was no match for a very aggressive bone cancer, metastasized from stage 4 breast cancer. She had a few good years before the tumors started growing in her bones, first her legs and finally her neck where a bone actually fractured.
She was in agony the past 4 months and docs couldn't seem to be able to gauge her pain and prescribe something to make her comfortable. She told me she just wanted to die in her sleep, so she did.
Jane had a total of 2.5 days in hospice, her lovely husband took care of her at home the rest of the time until he couldn't any longer.
She was more than ready, and I am so thankful she is no longer in pain, but I will miss her the rest of my life.
#FUCKCANCER

Rorey
(8,514 posts)I've read that bone cancer is extremely painful. What an insidious disease. My deepest sympathy.
Irish_Dem
(74,825 posts)
Siwsan
(27,676 posts)My heart goes out to you.
My sister also died of cancer. She never found peace, before she died. That haunts me, still.
True Blue American
(18,579 posts)For your Pain and loss. Go with my thoughts and prayers that you be comforted.
Scrivener7
(57,160 posts)You are in my heart.
SalmonChantedEvening
(32,037 posts)Jane was a great friend to me, I'm so sorry she's gone, but glad her suffering is at an end. Sending love and light to you and your family.
murielm99
(32,343 posts)Cancer sucks.
GPV
(73,311 posts)Hugh_Lebowski
(33,643 posts)We're here for you
marble falls
(68,571 posts)Goddessartist
(2,169 posts)May she fly high. Big hugs. I lost a sister a year ago to cancer. She was 61.
ms liberty
(10,590 posts)Sending vibes your way.
#FUCKCANCER
TNNurse
(7,405 posts)As a breast cancer survivor, I will always wonder why I am still around and others are not.
bucolic_frolic
(52,405 posts)Cancer sucks. Pain sucks. Doctors and their meds ... to be gracious, are not always effective. They ban pain meds for side effects, then give us meds that kill 150,000 Americans. Pain is a personal battle, and it's good to know all of Pharma is on our side.
Cherish the siblings moments. They are like no other.
bronxiteforever
(10,770 posts)
#FUCKCANCER
multigraincracker
(36,285 posts)I'm from a very small family with only one brother alive. Can't imagine how you must feel.
PatSeg
(50,944 posts)I can't imagine losing a twin though. I'm glad she's no longer in pain.
Scottie Mom
(5,834 posts)While I am not a twin, in my mid 30s I learned that I have half sisters who are twins. Their love for each other and closeness is something very special.
jmbar2
(7,308 posts)I'm so glad that she's released from her pain. Sisters are the best. Cannot imagine losing a twin.
Take care of yourself as best you can. Write when you need to.
Your DU family is here.
BoomaofBandM
(1,927 posts)I am so very sorry for your loss.
area51
(12,436 posts)
JohnSJ
(98,883 posts)sinkingfeeling
(56,337 posts)louslobbs
(3,416 posts)experience, a few good years and then the cancer metastasized .it was a relief when she was no longer in pain. I wish you peace and continued strength. #FUCKCANCER
greatauntoftriplets
(178,236 posts)A friend who was virtually a sister to me died of that in 1987. The level of pain that she endured was beyond .belief. That was clear to all.
Fuck cancer.
Solly Mack
(95,690 posts)I can't say it gets easier because I don't know if that's true or not yet.
My sister was sudden, and your sister was expected but that changes nothing. Someone special in our lives is no more.
I am truly sorry for your loss.
I agree - Fuck Cancer.
malaise
(289,101 posts)Deepest sympathy babylonsister
Lucinda
(31,170 posts)
femmedem
(8,527 posts)My deepest condolences to you and her husband, and may you both find peace on the other side of this pain.
Delphinus
(12,440 posts)I'm so sorry for you, babylonsister. My heart holds you.
Wicked Blue
(8,239 posts)Words aren't enough to convey how very sorry I am.
Holding you, Jane and all your loved ones in my thoughts.
Picaro
(2,187 posts)cate94
(3,006 posts)And relieved for her passing. Some things are worse than death.
The night my mom found out she had untreatable lung cancer, she died of a heart attack. We would have liked more time with her, of course, but not at the cost.
Fuck cancer.
quaint
(4,155 posts)

hlthe2b
(111,319 posts)I'm definitely with you: #FUCKCANCER
You will both be in my thoughts and I hope the happier memories of earlier times will soon take over your own thoughts.
LuvLoogie
(8,258 posts)and her love and spirit remain with you.
moonscape
(5,576 posts)tragic last months. Heartbreaking.
livetohike
(23,675 posts)loved your sister Jane. May every good memory of times together comfort you .
CousinIT
(11,858 posts)I'm glad she is finally at peace. Wishing you much strength at this heartbreaking time.
Fla Dem
(27,077 posts)I hope you are finding some comfort that her suffering is over. Peace to you, your family and her family.
pazzyanne
(6,722 posts)It is so hard when we lose loved ones, especially to cancer. Please take care of you as you grieve the loss of your sister. There are many of us who support you in any wat we can.
tavernier
(13,939 posts)I always wished for a sibling. I will never have the pain of losing a sister, but I envy you the joy and love you shared with yours and will continue to share until you cross to join her. ❤️
GreenWave
(11,606 posts)May you find peace some day.
spooky3
(37,883 posts)niyad
(127,247 posts)her, be at peace. Your DU family is here for you.
Dr. Shepper
(3,188 posts)Im so sorry for your loss.
mopinko
(72,957 posts)im sorry for your loss. i lost my next older sister 5 yrs ago. we were pretty much twins born apart.
she spent her last decade in a nursing home w ms. like your sister, her passing was a relief.
miss her a ton, tho.
JustinBulletin
(100 posts)I read your posts always and enjoy them. Thank you for your presence here and your opinions on events of the day. You are a gift.
Take care of yourself.
ratchiweenie
(8,132 posts)Thank god the pain is gone.
2naSalit
(97,798 posts)


madaboutharry
(42,006 posts)May her memory be a blessing.
Much love to you and all your family and those who loved her.
Rebl2
(16,970 posts)your loss. My mother is a twin and understand the connection between twins.
Hope22
(4,161 posts)May your sister travel with you. I find my sister in the colorful light the crystal hanging in the window shares. She makes me smile every time. Your sis will show up. My heart goes out to her for the pain she went through. Love to you. 💗💗💐🙏
LoisB
(11,628 posts)TeamProg
(6,630 posts)Maraya1969
(23,346 posts)


Grumpy Old Guy
(4,074 posts)Neck and back pain can be excruciating. She must have had a terrible time. Rest in peace.
ananda
(33,157 posts)in the worst way, in a lot of pain and agony.
It was during Covid and she wouldn't see a doctor.
I hate Covid and Trump in the worst possible way
mercuryblues
(15,857 posts)Hugs to you.
50 Shades Of Blue
(11,241 posts)Fuck cancer indeed.
Ocelot II
(127,193 posts)
virgdem
(2,277 posts)PatrickforB
(15,270 posts)sellitman
(11,714 posts)Most of us at a certain age have lost family or loved ones to Cancer. Losing a twin has to be even harder if that is even possible.
Glad she is out of pain now though.
Hugs
fierywoman
(8,421 posts)

dawn5651
(727 posts)TheBlackAdder
(29,689 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(155,125 posts)Losing a sibling is always hard, but a twin is so much harder.
You have lost part of yourself, and my god, it hurts!
My deepest condolences, now and always.
TdeV
(160 posts)llashram
(6,269 posts)missing a loved sibling is a process to go through. May she have and you find peace
flying_wahini
(8,187 posts)Its in her breasts, lymph nodes, eyeball and bones. She went strict vegan 10 years ago after her first breast was removed and refused all but minimal radiation and has lived another 10 years.
She was given just a few months to live in 2016 and so we are amazed she has managed to stay with us this long. She was moved to hospice (Canada) months ago after she feel and broke a femur but is up with a walker and back home now. She is one tough bird.
I feel your pain and share it with you. I know its coming but hard to get my head around it.
I know you will miss her terribly. Consider yourself hugged. 💗
piddyprints
(15,019 posts)

Captain Zero
(8,407 posts)I've known a twin who lost their twin in adulthood. It is a deep grief, because the twin bond is much more than a sibling bond, it really is. It's ok to acknowledge that this deeply affecting you because you two were closer than siblings, actually closer in a different way than a spouse or partner. Please take care of yourself and support her husband as well. Sending good vibes, all that I can...
tenderfoot
(8,982 posts)
KPN
(16,920 posts)and I do understand your feeling thankful her pain is over.
StevieM
(10,575 posts)Tumbulu
(6,585 posts)sheshe2
(93,774 posts)My heart goes out to you and yours.
cilla4progress
(26,436 posts)and glad for her relief.
Blessings!
MiHale
(12,149 posts)
Kali
(56,452 posts)
BComplex
(9,551 posts)I've had two people I loved die of bone cancer, and, yeah, #FUCKCANCER!
There are no words.
Sending you healing hugs
onecaliberal
(36,594 posts)

Oopsie Daisy
(6,670 posts)CrispyQ
(40,231 posts)Yes, fuck cancer. I lost a good friend a few weeks ago to it. Think if we redirected some of our military budget to finding a cure, or even a way to diagnose it before it's already stage 4. My friend was stage 4 by the time she was diagnosed.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
tblue37
(66,888 posts)kimbutgar
(26,033 posts)Sounds like your sister was a real fighter.
highplainsdem
(58,209 posts)it would be to lose a twin sister. Condolences to you and Jane's husband and all her loved ones.
pandr32
(13,414 posts)I am glad your twin sister died in her sleep, but the loss you must feel would be gutting. I am so sorry.
thatcrowwoman
(1,230 posts)

You are strong and brave and dearly loved.
May love and light enfold you, bringing you strength and sweet Shalom, Peace be with you and with your family.
🕊thatcrowwoman
LetMyPeopleVote
(169,809 posts)Uncle Joe
(63,162 posts)Peace, strength and healing to you and your family.
Wild blueberry
(7,884 posts)May her memory be a blessing. She will always be in your heart.
Vinnie From Indy
(10,820 posts)I recently lost my dad and I think about him every day.
CaptainTruth
(7,885 posts)You're in our thoughts.
MLAA
(19,478 posts)My dad had similar experience originating from liver cancer. I found comfort in him saying he had a wonderful life and preferred quality over quantity and was ready to go and then no longer in pain. I cant fully imagine the bond among twins though Ive watched documentaries about it.
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
JudyM
(29,542 posts)Wishing you a blanket of treasured memories, and extended periods of strength and peace in your heart.
((dear babylonsister))
🌺 Jane 🌺
Desert grandma
(1,070 posts)I have identical twin granddaughters that are 20 now. We raised them since they were home from the hospital. They are so close. I cannot imagine the sorrow you must feel. May you be comforted by your happy memories of her and your knowledge that your friends here at DU send you warm and caring thoughts.
revmclaren
(2,613 posts)

brer cat
(27,113 posts)I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. If it helps, know that we are keeping you in our hearts.
debm55
(50,719 posts)3auld6phart
(1,626 posts)Go out to you. Iisalways hard to lose ones we, love and hold loose. . Take care and deepregards to your sisters husband. Take care.
intheflow
(29,708 posts)Holding you in my heart today, and will light a candle for your sister.
barbtries
(30,767 posts)words fail. Look for the signs.
Danmel
(5,583 posts)May sweet memories of your beloved sister bring you comfort and peace.
IA8IT
(6,259 posts)mahina
(20,050 posts)Peace and aloha to her. I am sorry.
mgardener
(2,166 posts)My sister means the world to me.
I can't imagine what it would be like to lose her.
I'm glad she is no longer in pain
FakeNoose
(38,640 posts)
Yes I agree wholeheartedly ... Fuck Cancer! I've lost both parents and 3 of my 4 grandparents to cancer.
Your sister is finally free, and may she rest in peace. May you find solace in your memories of her from happier times.

Cha
(314,355 posts)


flamingdem
(40,661 posts)My deepest condolences and empathy. I lost my sister last year. She loved DU. Also cancer.
live love laugh
(15,890 posts)
colorado_ufo
(6,139 posts)
AltairIV
(955 posts)So very sorry for your loss. I lost my sister several years ago and while that pain and that hole in your life doesn't really go away remembering all those great years we did have still brings a smile to my face and makes it bearable.
Blue Owl
(57,346 posts)AmBlue
(3,456 posts)I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother to melanoma. He was just 52yo. They told us when cancer makes it to the bone marrow it's just the worst. I'm just so sorry... but glad she has escaped the pain.
May you find peace in your memories.
MuseRider
(34,949 posts)such a big loss in your life. Losing a sibling is very hard. She was very lucky to have a husband who would care for her and such a kind and loving sister to be with her and help her.
Many hugs to you when you need them, they are out there waiting for you to call for them.
Jack-o-Lantern
(1,018 posts)Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
- Henry Scott
connecticut yankee
(1,730 posts)Please accept my condolences on your loss.
calimary
(87,834 posts)Her pain and suffering - and fear - are over. Thats OVER. Mercifully, for her. And hopefully a wee bit of comfort for you and those who loved her.
Mme. Defarge
(8,760 posts)
marked50
(1,516 posts)TygrBright
(21,200 posts)Evolve Dammit
(21,217 posts)kentuck
(114,659 posts)She had a wonderful Sister.
Duncanpup
(15,127 posts)Tetrachloride
(8,968 posts)wryter2000
(47,940 posts)But shes not suffering anymore. It must be really hard to lose a twin
crickets
(26,158 posts)So many hugs.
sakabatou
(45,297 posts)mzmolly
(52,461 posts)for your loss.
MontanaMama
(24,540 posts)Im so so sorry for your loss. Of course you will miss her forever.
#FUCKCANCER
elleng
(140,761 posts)




democrank
(11,778 posts)Heres a hug, just for you
babylonsister
(172,337 posts)You made today less lonely for me.
peacebuzzard
(5,648 posts)so sorry for you, bablonsister.
My deepest condolences.
yonder
(10,137 posts)Trueblue Texan
(3,753 posts)Peace and healing to you.
yardwork
(68,049 posts)diva77
(7,880 posts)



raising2moredems
(733 posts)To me, the "gauging of the pain" means a physician should prescribe enough medication to the patient to keep him/her comfortable - the hell with the feds when a person has stage 4 cancer. Who cares if s/he becomes an "addict" for a few weeks at best? Kudos to your BIL, not many (male or female) can/will care for his/her ill spouse/partner.
Hekate
(99,443 posts)May she cross gently and rest in peace. May your memories be a blessing.
pansypoo53219
(22,589 posts)AllyCat
(18,214 posts)Peace to you all.
mountain grammy
(28,205 posts)Deuxcents
(24,015 posts)icymist
(15,888 posts)
MFM008
(20,041 posts)🫂😞💜
SheilaAnn
(10,540 posts)cayugafalls
(5,924 posts)#FUCKCANCER
samnsara
(18,625 posts)(((hugs)))
Dark n Stormy Knight
(10,449 posts)Such heartbreak to see a loved one suffer so.😥
Heartfelt condolences to you. May you find increasing measures of peace. 💜💜💜