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BigmanPigman

(52,893 posts)
Mon Apr 21, 2025, 11:08 PM Monday

I wonder if I had a hand in the Pope's death?

I was raised as a Catholic until I was 9 and was given a choice to continue and said, "No thanks, I'd rather sleep late on weekends". My dad never went to church and after I turned 9 I stopped going. My family of four were all atheists while I grew up. When I stopped going to church my friends and some schoolmates started picking on me. My, my such loving actions from such a caring religion.

Priests routinely knocked on our family's door asking for money and he made you feel guilty if you didn't give them the entire contents in your bank account and they would list how much money each family gave them every month in a little booklet. My sister was older so she would have to tell the priest to fuck off while I hid in my bedroom (really). He scared the shit out of me.

Most of my adult friends who were raised in the Catholic faith all became atheists except for 1 person. While I was studying for a huge test to become a teacher I had a test prep book and it asked "which of the following are considered cults?". They listed some stuff but the correct answer was Catholicism, this cult rakes in tons of $$$$$ and pays no taxes. Is that fucked up or what?

About 10 years ago I bought some genuine Communion Wafers on line and I've eaten them every Easter as a joke. The joke is that the communion wafer was the ONLY thing I liked about that whole religious experience.

I have served them as "chips" with salsa before Easter Dinner and an edible treat for use in easter baskets. I did that yesterday for my sister's "Easter Dinner". It's a tradition of our family's favorite foods and a reason to get together (like Christmas dinner).

Today I ate a few more of them and they ARE tasty! Then I just read the Pope has died.

Was my use of communion wafers to blame for his death at this exact time? Will I rot in hell (there is no hell, Earth is hell)? I jest.

13 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I wonder if I had a hand in the Pope's death? (Original Post) BigmanPigman Monday OP
Not saying that you did but if I were you and I was feeling Marie Marie Monday #1
..the pontiff shook hands with John boy Vance.. thomski64 Monday #2
That was the kiss of death for the Pope. BigmanPigman Monday #3
Poor Frank looked into Vance's eyes and saw Satan. 3Hotdogs Monday #5
Maybe the pope hung on just long enough GemDigger Tuesday #8
I was one of two kids and attended Catholic grade school in the late 1950s and early 1960s. greatauntoftriplets Monday #4
It was Catechism class in preparation for Confirmation that I knew it was all fucked up. 3Hotdogs Tuesday #6
I'll never forget the sounds of kids being hit with a ruler. greatauntoftriplets Tuesday #9
I knew it was fucked up when BigmanPigman Tuesday #11
My single Catholic friend BigmanPigman Tuesday #7
I knew families like that. greatauntoftriplets Tuesday #10
I think you're in the clear EYESORE 9001 Tuesday #12
I just ate a few more this evening BigmanPigman Tuesday #13

Marie Marie

(10,153 posts)
1. Not saying that you did but if I were you and I was feeling
Mon Apr 21, 2025, 11:15 PM
Monday

under the weather, I would dress for very warm weather. Very warm weather....

BigmanPigman

(52,893 posts)
3. That was the kiss of death for the Pope.
Mon Apr 21, 2025, 11:24 PM
Monday

Last edited Mon Apr 21, 2025, 11:58 PM - Edit history (1)

Or the "hand shake" of death in this case. Wouldn't it be funny if people started to blame Vance in some way? My only Catholic friend is also my only GOP friend. I hope she is having this thought run through her head empty today.

3Hotdogs

(14,103 posts)
5. Poor Frank looked into Vance's eyes and saw Satan.
Mon Apr 21, 2025, 11:57 PM
Monday

The stress from that vision cased his heart attack.

GemDigger

(4,363 posts)
8. Maybe the pope hung on just long enough
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 12:41 AM
Tuesday

knowing that mini ass was coming and wanted to blast him before he left this earth.

greatauntoftriplets

(177,527 posts)
4. I was one of two kids and attended Catholic grade school in the late 1950s and early 1960s.
Mon Apr 21, 2025, 11:29 PM
Monday

I damn near had to pick the nuns up off the floor when they learned my parents had only two kids. The message was that my parents were BAD Catholics!!! No, it was the doctor telling my mother after I was born that another baby would probably kill her.

My father, the gods love him, respected my mother's needs and used contraception. He wanted her alive. I haven't believed for many years.

3Hotdogs

(14,103 posts)
6. It was Catechism class in preparation for Confirmation that I knew it was all fucked up.
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 12:04 AM
Tuesday

A week before Confirmation, we were brought into the halls of the St. James school. A nun began asking the questions that the bishop was going to ask us to make sure we were up to speed on the dogma and worthy of Confirmation. This was 1952.

Most of the kids got their memorized answers correct. A couple did not. As wrong answers came out of kids, she became more and more angry. She took one kid and pinched his cheek, telling him the correct answer, while shaking him.

A couple of more correct answers and then she blew. She took the fucking kid and slammed his head against the tile wall. There was blood on the wall and then the fucking kid collapsed on the floor.

We were immediately sent home and watched as an ambulance drove towards the school.

I imagine that cost the diocese a pretty penny to keep that one quiet.

greatauntoftriplets

(177,527 posts)
9. I'll never forget the sounds of kids being hit with a ruler.
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 12:45 AM
Tuesday

That was something that I could never watch, so I'd close my eyes. Never saw anything like you experienced, but those nuns had a lot of pent-up violence. Even my kindergarten nun was a witch, the crankiest woman ever

The biggest Catholic school scandal that I know of was in my father's grade school. The pastor of the church got the grade school principal pregnant. They were removed from the school, and my grandmother sent her boys to public school for the rest of the year.

BigmanPigman

(52,893 posts)
11. I knew it was fucked up when
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 01:01 AM
Tuesday

I was forced to confess my sins at the age of 7. What 7 year old has "sins"?!?!?!

I remember that I would have to invent sins to confess to while waiting my turn in line.. that's one fucked up thing to do to any kid. And in the name of love and kindness...what hypocrisy! If a 7 year old can see through this shit show why don't older, "wiser" people? No wonder I became an atheist.

BigmanPigman

(52,893 posts)
7. My single Catholic friend
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 12:05 AM
Tuesday

had a family that had 7 girls! Then by the 8th they got their wish...a boy!

He was and still is put on a platter by the family and my family suspected this was the case but just last year when her father died I learned my family's assumption was correct. The father of the clan thought the son was "chosen" and walked on water until the day he died. The girls slept 3 or 4 to a bedroom while the "sun king" got a single room. It was biggest of all the bedrooms. That's fucked up!

greatauntoftriplets

(177,527 posts)
10. I knew families like that.
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 12:49 AM
Tuesday

One girl in my grade was one of 14 children. That's unreal!

A friend was one of seven kids, with a boy the eldest and the youngest. My friend, who was the middle child, slept in a bedroom with three of her sisters. The oldest girl and both boys had their own rooms. The house had two bathrooms. I still don't know how they managed.

EYESORE 9001

(28,069 posts)
12. I think you're in the clear
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 02:00 AM
Tuesday

If you’d been chowing down on wafers that a priest had already transsubstanttified into the actual body of Christ, that would be absolutely blasphemous in the eyes of the faithful. Otherwise, it’s just a thin, round, bland cracker.

BigmanPigman

(52,893 posts)
13. I just ate a few more this evening
Tue Apr 22, 2025, 02:35 AM
Tuesday

and they really are quite tasty. I also like how they dissolve and stick to the roof of your mouth. I just looked at the ingredients on the container and it says "flour and water". I don't why I find them tasty but I do.

I just looked on line to see if they still sell them and they do...AT WALMART! 1,000 for only $19 plus shipping. Walmart must be God's chosen supplier of all things Holy. I wonder if My Pillow Guy knows about this deal. Maybe he could get in a new line of business and start his own brand since he is hard up for cash now (so he claims).



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