Me, I’m just one man
Up on the stage I make my stand
Yes, it’s true I have a band
Up here behind me

While you, you’ve got your crew
and the Secret Service too
and your wife from the EU
But you’re no good at rhyming

So hey, get down off that stage
We’ve heard everything you’ve got to say
You’ve been calling all the shots
You’ve got us all tied up in knots
C'mon man, get off the stage

Now me, I spend half of my life
In an Econoline van
With my band and my wife
And when she steps up to the mic
I’ve seen grown men burst out crying

While you, you’ve got an ugly mouth
You got no heart at all, except for your Russian pal
You’re an obstruction in democracy’s bowel
And the patient is dying

So come down off that stage
Please get off the stage
Come on down and take a seat
We’ll put some John Prine on repeat
All we’re asking is get off the stage

if you were an automobile
You’d be out of gas
With four flat tires
And a smog check that’s never gonna pass
If you were a pair of socks
You’d be full of holes
You’re one bad hombre
So why don’t you just turn around
And go home

And maybe do something with that hair
Take a walk in the park
Visit a renaissance fair
You’re headed for prison, you know
But don’t be scared
The first time is the hardest

Just get down off that stage
We’ve heard everything you’ve got to say
Take a book down off the shelf
Try to love somebody else
Whatever you do, just get off the stage