Remember me? (Former DU Admin checking in)
It’s been nearly six years since I sold Democratic Underground and posted my last message on the site. When I posted my farewell, some of you expressed hope that I would stop by from time-to-time. I have thought about it many times but have not been able to bring myself to do so before today. It feels like enough time has passed that it's safe for me to come back.
I know it might surprise some of you to hear that I haven’t felt totally comfortable returning. In many ways running DU was a really great fit for me – I have always been fascinated by politics, and I was obsessed with trying to make everyone feel like this is a welcoming place where you could get a break from the worst toxicity of the rest of the internet. But there were certain aspects of the job which I found pretty hard to take emotionally and psychologically. I needed some time and distance (and therapy) in order to process those feelings and get past them. I think one of the best things about coming back and reading DU is realizing that it is actually the community that I always hoped it would be, filled with friendly people who care about the world and care about each other.
You may be wondering what I’ve been up to for the last six years.
After I left DU, my plan was to use the proceeds from the sale of DU to support myself while I followed a long-time dream to write and illustrate a children’s book. I was somewhat surprised to learn that I had a knack for crypto trading, and have been able to support myself doing that. (Yes, I am well aware of all the problems with crypto. Be nice.) Unfortunately, I learned that writing a book was much harder than I had thought. I spent most of my time researching how to write a story rather than actually writing. Every attempt to start writing inevitably ended when I decided my work was terrible and I would give up. After a while I abandoned the effort (temporarily).
But doing the crypto thing led to a somewhat strange detour for me. During that whole stupid NFT boom, when people were paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for cartoon pictures of monkeys, I stumbled upon a small subculture of actual artists who were creating generative art using code. I was intrigued and decided to try it myself. I somehow managed to establish myself as a mid-tier artist – I was invited to collaborate with a few different curators and started to make a name for myself. But over time that voice in my head that I was not good enough started to take over, and then all the money and attention drained away from the space and that was the end of my brief-but-moderately-promising art career.
Eventually I would return to trying to write the book, and did actually finish a draft and do some illustrations. I doubt it’ll get published, but I needed to actually finish something, if only to prove to myself I could do it.
Outside of work, I’m still married to the same woman (nearly 25 years now) with three boys and two dogs. My oldest is in college, and my middle child is going off to college in the fall. My two oldest sons were obsessed with basketball, and both of them played year-round for their schools and on travel teams. The relative freedom that my career afforded me allowed me to go to all their games and go to their far-flung tournaments. My youngest was not really into sports but now that he’s in high school he decided to try out for football and has taken to it. This is all very strange for me because I was a terrible athlete and found sports baffling. All three of the boys are quite tall, from 6’3” to 6’5”. I’m the shortest male person in my family now. You long-termers may remember when my kids were born many years ago.
With two of the three boys out of the house, my life is at something of a transition point, and I’ve been feeling like it’s time for a career change. I have learned the hard way that there isn’t a huge job market for a man in his mid-fifties who built a political discussion forum from nothing, ran it for two decades, and then gave it up to spend half a decade crypto trading. I don’t really have a “network” to tap for opportunities so I’m feeling kind of stuck. If any of you know of any opportunities out there I would appreciate any help you could give. I figure there’s no harm in asking, seeing as some of you actually know me pretty well, and certainly know how I act on the job.
Anyway, the grim job prospects left me pretty frustrated and down on myself. A few months ago I decided to see a therapist. Long story short, I have a lot of issues from unresolved childhood trauma (death of a parent) and undiagnosed ADHD (Inattentive type – I wasn’t the fidgety kid; I was the daydreamer). I’ve spent my whole life telling myself that my childhood trauma had no long-term effects, so it’s been a process to come around to admitting that that’s very much not the case. As for the ADHD, my initial reaction to the diagnosis was that it was a bunch of bullshit, but I’ve come to accept that it is absolutely, 100% true. Now in my mid-fifties, I feel like my entire life has been reframed as a series of coping strategies for these issues. Needless to say, it’s weird. I must be making progress because I finally feel comfortable coming back here.
Anyway, I’m glad to see that DU is still here and that a lot of the people I remember are still here. After all the years of running it and absorbing the criticism and then stepping away… Being able to see this place with clear eyes is a gift.
I’m curious to hear how you all are doing. Does DU still have that guy waving emoji?
Ok, I found it. 
ON EDIT: Almost forgot: I also got cancer. I'm four years cancer-free, but I have a huge scar on my leg (which I love because it reminds me how lucky I am).
= new reply since forum marked as read
Not much has changed around here. Even library girl is still around.
It's hard to think of your boys being so grown up, because I do remember when they were born.
On edit: The triplets are now 25 years old, all college graduates. The girl is finishing up an MBA; the middle kid is a civil engineer; and the oldest starts medical school next month.
Hard to believe it's been SIX YEARS since you last posted. Time truly has flown. And unfortunately Trump is still president, lol.
Just kidding. Love hearing from you.
Lol wut? I need to figure out what that means. I guess I've been gone a while. 
All I can do right now is grin.
I am also grinning.
It thrilled me to see your post.
i can easily imagine how awful it felt to captain this ship of some fools. i’m fb friends w a lot of ex duers, and boy howdy r some of them bitter. makes no sense to me.
as far as your dx, better late than never. stop kicking yourself for shit that is a common symptom.
hope to we get to see more of u in the future, and that someone here can hook u up.
Hey, wait a minute………..
You’re not Don Jr. spying on us, are you?
Welcome back - and thank you for what you helped to build - a community with common thoughts and concerns - and a platform on which to share them! 
that I had copied from DU - showing GW with his mouth open and the words around him saying “Worst President Ever!”
Haven’t felt THAT dumb since I’d tried to jump off of a wall wearing a crib blanket tied around my neck like a Superman cape……. 
Welcome back! Glad to hear it's been an eventful, but mostly OK ride!
I've retired since you last posted. The spousal unit and I have moved to Arizona where we are presently living in (grateful) air conditioned comfort. Life is good. Well, except that a certain US president is still above ground, but time is on our side!
Your honesty is refreshing so if you thought your comments as to why you'd not posted over the past years would be off-putting, I think many of us could imagine your feeling as you do/did and are just pleased to hear from you.
I also think that a lot of us have shuffled professional and personal life changes, setbacks, crises, and hopefully mostly "positive" outcomes over time. I know I have, though a few of the challenges persist and I'm not quite ready to talk a lot about them until I'm fully past them. Still, it is encouraging to hear from others who have likewise had challenges but persisted and prevailed as you have--including cancer! Congratulations on being cancer free for 4 years. I am so heartened by that.
I hope you will continue to check in with us. I'm on lunch break so I have to keep this brief, but just know I am personally happy to see your post. We've missed you, though EarlG and Elad continue to do yeoman's work putting up with all of us!
Kudos to you, Skinner!
I was actually thinking about you and wondering where you were and what you were doing.
Thank you for the updates. Hopefully, we'll see more of you.
Life is what happens while you are living it and yours sounds pretty full … of good people and things that make you go hmmmmm
Therapy is a miracle when it leads you home and … here you are 
And that your journey has led you back to us, at least to check in!
What I know from years of therapy is that you know you are doing better when you can see things from a distance and recognize that you were functioning out of a survival mode you developed but couldn't see for yourself.
the world befuddles us because we were told one thing about life and ourselves that isn't really how things really are. When we actually see what's behind the curtain, it can take a while to accept the realities and sometimes it really hurts.
Glad you have a healthy family and they are successfully engaging in life, it matters.
I hope you stick around but if you don't, I won't hold it against you. You are missed, we just don't whine about because we are thankful for EarlG and the continuation of this incredible site.
We do miss you!
You might want to consider reading Julua Camerob's The Artist's Way. It's a 12-week creative recovery journey.
Enjoy!
On edit: it directly addresses the issues you've mentioned & teaches to work through them. 👍
times...back then and now.
Thank you thank you thank you! 
for my DU pages, I'm reminded of you on a regular basis. . Welcome back, and very glad you're in all around good health and your family is well!
Come see us more often.
Yeah, it gets haywire and emotional here at times, but we're still fighting the good fight.
There's big money to be made there.
Also, are you bullish on XRP?
Maybe your ears were ringing, because your name has been mentioned from time to time.
Starting a new career is always hard because other people try to put you in a box that fits their needs, not yours. I've gotten enjoyment and many learning experiences by trying out various projects in a volunteer capacity. It has possibilities for learning something new, meeting new people, and something exciting might turn up, you never know.
Welcome back Skinner!
Skinner, it is nice to see you. I don't post nearly as much as I did back in the day but I still find my way here to read.
I'm sorry your confidence level has interfered from time to time. Your visit here should help boost that level because without you DU would not be what it is today or was then. Both should make you feel very proud.
Yes, it does make me feel proud.
Your post makes me feel a bunch of things. good to see you, have thought of you often, knew you were doing some art back then tried to follow occasionally but then you seemed to have disappeared.
sorry can't help with work question, our lives are really different...unless you are interested in learning to build/repair range fence out in the hot desert grasslands of SE AZ. LOL
Long time away! Glad you’re back.
Thanks for the update…
Couldn’t wait to read the Hate Mailbag and Top 10 Conservative Idiots back when.
Glad to have you back.
Glad to hear from you, and what's going on in your life.
I bet you never thought anything could be worse than Bush II. The current guy is Bush x 100. He's gifted all of us with PTSD.
I am very grateful for DU, and you starting it! Its one of my best friends, and I'm on it way more than I should be. I started on here when I was still living my Calif. nightmare for 12 years, under a different name, and now another 12 years back in KY. Its been a lifesaver sometimes, with great people on it. I met my very best friend on here!
You don't have to wait another 6 years to post!
I've been doing it since 1996. There's got to be formula you can whip up utilizing your skill set, work experience and network.
Great to see you back. You've been missed.
I have enjoyed being here for the 20 years I’ve been a member.
My days are spent mostly in the Photo group. And it’s a great place to be.
Hope to see more of you around these parts!
Glad to hear from you.
(Just in case you started feeling too comfortable....)
Welcome home
This life has certainly been a trip.
I'm glad to hear from you
Nice to see you’re still around.
I'm glad to hear you're doing well and beat cancer.
How the hell are you! Great to hear from you! You are probably surprised I am still living, I have been here so long. But I try to keep the spark in the place.
kentuck
I don't want to keep you reading a too long response, but it's good to hear from you.
Don't be a stranger. You could visit us more often, believe it or not there's people here that wonder about those DU'ers when we don't ever hear from them.
Glad you beat that dreaded cancer. Sending continuing positive vibes your way!
I've been not on du much the last year, am glad I checked in and caught this.
maybe many of us were too distracted to post.
I always assumed you were here posting under another name.
You probably don't remember but do you recall telling us to stop talking about chicken? Cornflake chicken?
Thanks for putting up with us for as long as you did!
Of course you're remembered. How could we ever forget the Wonderful Skinner of Oz?
I've become the resident jackass. My old age dictates that I take things a bit on the lighter side now.
Glad to hear you're navigating the vagaries of life in a positive fashion.
You gave us a safe place to express our concerns and day to day happenings, make on-line friends and be part of a supportive community.
Sorry to hear of your struggles but glad to hear you are working through them.
So good to hear from you Skinner!
I wonder from time to time what you’ve been up to. I figured you were maybe a political consultant somewhere, or possibly running a boutique hotel in a foreign capital frequented by colorful and slightly dangerous characters living on the fringes of society. (Maybe that’s my long-suppressed dream!)
“Crypto trader and aspiring children’s book author” wasn’t on my radar! There are so many possibilities for us to re-invent ourselves.
I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, but it seems to me that a great many people, myself included, are on a spectrum of attention deficit disorder. I have a friend with full-blown ADHD — who’s been clinically diagnosed but refuses to take medication for it — who completely shakes up her life every few years. (My wife and I are among her core group of friends who’ve stuck with her despite the recurring bewilderment and frustration that comes from decades of trying to hug a tornado!)
The “without the H” contingent is a more subtle group, and I also know folks who fit firmly in that camp. Depression, disorganization, and many abandoned plans are all among their challenges. (But creativity and insatiable curiosity on the plus side.) If I’m on that spectrum, this is more my tribe, so I can relate to your narrative.
A supportive spouse and loving family and friends have made all the difference in my life, and it sounds like you’re similarly blessed. So enjoy your good fortune and keep creating your meandering path as you go along! You will find ways to be useful and fulfilled, I am certain.
And heartfelt thanks to you (and EarlG and Elad — and whoever else is keeping this crazy, wonderful phenomenon going) for this marvelous gift that’s been such an important part of my life for 24+ years and a refuge and inspiration for hundreds (thousands, probably) of others.
It's like running into an old school mate or former co-worker.
So many of us found your site seeking answers after an election loss that bewildered us. Know that the small message board you started has provided a lifeline to more people than you can ever imagine. And still does.
Your life sounds good all-in-all. I wish many more wonderful years for you and your family.
the good, the bad, and the ugly. Happy the kids are good and so are you!
I believe we all need therapy, but at my age it just too damn late. Good for you for taking the time to do that.
You built something great here and I thank you every day! Many of us do!
I went to Parsons in NYC for fashion illustration in the 80s then switched to general illustration when my teacher said fashion illustration was taken over by cameras. I graduated with a BFA (bach in fine arts) and couldn't find any jobs since computers took over by then so I went into visual/display and all the dept stores closed and mannequins heads were chopped off so I changed careers out of the area of art and became a teacher (which also sucked but I need food, shelter, healthcare after all). The only jobs in the art field were Children's Books and that ship has also sailed. You are in the same boat as a zillion other artists. 
Smiling ear to ear to see you posting.. Yours truly does not post as much as she used to.. But check in every day to catch up on the news...
it has been a while.....we certainly wish you would post more often
great that you kicked cancer ass; yes INDEED
I got assessed few years back not for meds but just because I needed answers and I have the same type of ADHD. They caught it with my brother but not me because like you I was inattentive and day dreaming all the time. As I got older hard to focus and pay attention at work. I used to think it was because of stress, kids or life but at least I have answer now.
Nice to see you and hope you find something job wise, it’s tough these days. I am grateful to be retired.
I am newish to the forum, but the person who turned me on to DU told me of your role in the genesis of DU.
Kudos for being a part of creating something unique and effective....and enduring.
You and Earl deserve a tip of the hat.
Earl and Elad have done a great job of keeping the light on.
heck, I'll post it anyway: WELCOME BACK!
Nice to see you.
Taking breaks from DU is healthy. I've taken years-long breaks a few times.
I had growing up to do, personally.
So glad you've dropped in. So glad you've learned from therapy. Really super great to hear that you've been a wonderful dad. Your boys are very lucky.
My updates: Suddenly widowed in 2022. MIL living with us passed away two weeks later. The older of my two labs died. The guy who had been my son's aide passed away after working with us for two years. I miss his friendship and now I'm homebound with my son again. My brother Paul, aka Texas Towelie, passed away May 14. 
Still miss him terribly. My other Labrador died. My health has been good. It's me and my two sons knocking about our big house enjoying FIFA World Cup and The Vampire Lestat on AMC. Sam Riley is hot as rock star Lestat. And there's my ADD getting out-of-hand.
I expect you found it different but the same. The DU Community is what makes this place magical and you guys setting up this environment the way you did, helped to make it so.
Wish you all the best in your next career endeavor and don't be a stranger!
Wavy guy.
I have been on DU longer than my account shows. I lost my original sign on connection during one of the upgrade switch overs. Before joining, I was a long time lurker. The flame wars back in the beginning days were very off-putting. If that kind of fire was aimed at you, I can understand how damaging it could be.
Nonetheless, DU is still here, still hanging on. I check in multiple times per day. Not only does it help me stay informed, but the community here helps me stay sane.
Thank you very much for all the work you did in getting DU launched. I wish you the very best of excellent luck in finding sustaining employment, and also the best success in maintaining good health.
in six years. Glad that you are well and just know that it is called a mid life crisis and everyone I know has gone through it .
DU has kept me somewhat sane in the 22 years I’ve been here so thanks for your part in this creation/community.
Welcome back!
Thank you for the update, I enjoyed reading about what you've been up to. Please feel free to stop back any time, you're always welcome here!
I don't know if you remember me, but I was a DU.2 mod, a DU.3 host (you rescued me when I got a hide on my locking message) and I'm currently on MIRT.
So glad to hear from you and please don't be a stranger - like EarlG said, we're stuck with the felon-in-chief again and need all the help and support we can get here!!!
I joined D.U. during the first G.W. regime, and have remained a member all this time. I rarely post now but D.U. is still one of my most used bookmarks. With you back in the fold I like to think the circle is complete.
Plus I forgot my username and password after some time away and had to start over. Life got super busy for awhile. I'm pretty sure my current handle is similar to what it used to be…
I have no idea exactly when I found DU but I am tremendously grateful to have it in my life whether I just read or have time to post. You created a wonderful community and now that flaming is under control – mostly – it is a true home. The radical free-speechers back in the day ruined many sites permanently. Manners and consideration go a long way in making for a pleasant community, as do enforcement tools. The jury system is genius, whoever started it. 
So glad to hear of all you have done and are doing, your terrific family, and especially kicking the big C. Coincidentally, it wasn't until my last year as a special ed teacher (after 36 years of teaching) that I heard a diagnostician telling a parent that attention deficit looks different in many and described the day-dreamy type with trouble completing tasks. i recognized myself in his description, and apparently his description would fit you too. Explains a lot of struggles I had early in my teaching career. I had a terrible time with large classes. Too easily distracted and frustrated. Once I moved into teaching small groups for shorter periods of time, I was more successful. I empathize.
I am with all those who say you have tremendous gifts already, including creativity, but you may discover others as you reinvent yourself again. I did myself once I retired and decided to get a masters degree in a new field for me, mass communication. It's been a great adventure overall, even the hard times.
There's likely to be a lot of opportunity and even job security in cybersecurity, but I doubt it will be satisfying to your creative soul for long. Best of luck to you in your discerning process and I hope to hear from you as often as you care to post here.
There turned out to be a lot more of you than I was expecting, LOL.
I have read all of your replies, thank you so much. You have made me feel very welcome. I actually remember almost all of you, including those of you who thought I would not. We had a lot of good times together back in the day.
I will definitely be stopping by more often. One of my discoveries over the last 24 hours is that this place is just as addictive as I remember, and it's very easy to get back in the habit. EarlG suggested I wade into GD next time and see what happens.