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True Dough

(25,176 posts) Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:36 AM Saturday

What would your text message to Jesus be?

Something like, "Hey Jesus. You're a carpenter. Could you build me a new new deck? I'll even supply the materials."

29 replies

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Highlight:

What would your text message to Jesus be? (Original Post) True Dough Saturday OP

AI Jesus sop Saturday #1

And you thought the money lenders in the Temple were bad.. Chasstev365 Saturday #2

That's it underpants Saturday #6

WWYD? bottomofthehill Saturday #3

Are we seeing the beginning of an AI church? Haggard Celine Saturday #4

Where have you been It's been like 2000 years. Duncanpup Saturday #5

Stay the fuck out of government. nr doc03 Saturday #7

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........................ Lovie777 Saturday #8

Same results with a Magic 8 Ball Marthe48 Saturday #9

Are you okay with what these assholes are doing in your name? (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Saturday #10

Jesus, you got one job to do. chicoescuela Saturday #11

Hey, Jesus! PJMcK Saturday #12

You know True Dough Saturday #13

Good snark! PJMcK Saturday #16

You too, PJMcK! True Dough Saturday #18

Hey, Yehoshua; you want to come down here and bitch-slap Aristus Saturday #14

Is Herc ok with the usurpation of his 4 titles? GreenWave Saturday #15

Jesus is not omnipotent enough to communicate himself? Norrrm Saturday #17

How's it hanging? Solly Mack Saturday #19

I'm sensing True Dough Saturday #21

Well, it ain't a parable. Solly Mack Saturday #22

"Whoa! You're real? No fucking way!' Iggo Saturday #20

What does the "H." stand for? LudwigPastorius Saturday #23

I like your Christ. Rizen Saturday #24

"What's the best mulch for my rose beds in the fall?" JoseBalow Saturday #25

Where have you been? Weren't you supposed to come back years ago? Ocelot II Sunday #26

This is ridiculous and creepy. JBTaurus83 Sunday #27

For sure, yet millions of people actually believe in it JoseBalow Sunday #29

Could you ask your dad to smite this program and everyone associated with it? jls4561 Sunday #28

sop

(16,903 posts)

1. AI Jesus

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:40 AM

Saturday

Chasstev365

(6,744 posts)

2. And you thought the money lenders in the Temple were bad..

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:49 AM

Saturday

underpants

(193,924 posts)

6. That's it

Reply to Chasstev365 (Reply #2)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:07 AM

Saturday

bottomofthehill

(9,312 posts)

3. WWYD?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:53 AM

Saturday

Haggard Celine

(17,563 posts)

4. Are we seeing the beginning of an AI church?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:54 AM

Saturday

Creepy!

Duncanpup

(15,378 posts)

5. Where have you been It's been like 2000 years.

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 07:55 AM

Saturday

doc03

(38,654 posts)

7. Stay the fuck out of government. nr

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:47 AM

Saturday

Lovie777

(21,151 posts)

8. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........................

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:47 AM

Saturday

no more prayers?

Marthe48

(22,372 posts)

9. Same results with a Magic 8 Ball

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:57 AM

Saturday

Yes, no, and wait awhile.

OldBaldy1701E

(9,552 posts)

10. Are you okay with what these assholes are doing in your name? (n/t)

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:36 AM

Saturday

chicoescuela

(2,501 posts)

11. Jesus, you got one job to do.

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:38 AM

Saturday

Please hurry for the sake of the entire planet.

PJMcK

(24,429 posts)

12. Hey, Jesus!

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:41 AM

Saturday

Prove your existence.

Why would you appear to sheep herders in an obscure corner of the world in a time without mass media? Show up today and use all the media— TV, radio, internet, social media, etc.— to broadcast your messages of peace and love. You would reach billions of people and expand Christianity.

In addition, you could clarify your messages that so many charlatans have bastardized.

But without evidence of your existence, I can’t be bothered.

By the way, you do know that your, the Bible, is chock full of contradictions and falsehoods, right?

True Dough

(25,176 posts)

13. You know

Reply to PJMcK (Reply #12)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:44 AM

Saturday

that you might end up with texting charges from your carrier if you send all that, right?

PJMcK

(24,429 posts)

16. Good snark!

Reply to True Dough (Reply #13)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:03 AM

Saturday

My phone plan allows for unlimited text and data!

Of course, I won’t expect a response.

Enjoy your weekend!

True Dough

(25,176 posts)

18. You too, PJMcK!

Reply to PJMcK (Reply #16)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:14 AM

Saturday

Aristus

(71,313 posts)

14. Hey, Yehoshua; you want to come down here and bitch-slap

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 09:55 AM

Saturday

the people commit atrocities in your name? Kthxby.

GreenWave

(12,020 posts)

15. Is Herc ok with the usurpation of his 4 titles?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 10:19 AM

Saturday

Son of Man?
Prince of Peace?
Good Shepherd?
Soter, er, Savior?

Norrrm

(3,465 posts)

17. Jesus is not omnipotent enough to communicate himself?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:11 AM

Saturday

Pat Robertson, Franklin Graham and their ilk are CBR - Cash Based Religion.

Judas was an early, modern-day, conservative disciple.

Judas got 30 pieces of silver, but just once, for selling Christ.

Franklin Graham, Jim Bakker, Pat Robertson, and their ilk get millions of dollars repeatedly for selling Christ.

Judas was a fool for doing a one-time sale.

Solly Mack

(96,087 posts)

19. How's it hanging?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 12:07 PM

Saturday

True Dough

(25,176 posts)

21. I'm sensing

Reply to Solly Mack (Reply #19)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 02:40 PM

Saturday

some double-entendre!

Solly Mack

(96,087 posts)

22. Well, it ain't a parable.

Reply to True Dough (Reply #21)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 03:11 PM

Saturday

Iggo

(49,426 posts)

20. "Whoa! You're real? No fucking way!'

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 12:11 PM

Saturday

LudwigPastorius

(13,825 posts)

23. What does the "H." stand for?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 03:13 PM

Saturday

Rizen

(993 posts)

24. I like your Christ.

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 08:31 PM

Saturday

I do not like your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ.

JoseBalow

(8,932 posts)

25. "What's the best mulch for my rose beds in the fall?"

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sat Nov 15, 2025, 11:57 PM

Saturday

Ocelot II

(128,332 posts)

26. Where have you been? Weren't you supposed to come back years ago?

Reply to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Nov 16, 2025, 12:01 AM

Sunday

Or was hanging out with your dad and the cherubim and seraphim too cushy a gig to give up? Can't blame you, though, considering what the same sort of assholes we've got now did to you last time.