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my wife passed away yesterday morning (Original Post) onethatcares Nov 9 OP
I am so sorry to hear this. Irish_Dem Nov 9 #1
So sorry for your loss. piddyprints Nov 9 #2
Ohhhhhh. I'm so sorry. Scrivener7 Nov 9 #3
I'm very sorry for your loss. ❤️ underpants Nov 9 #4
I'm so sorry. Chellee Nov 9 #5
I am so sorry for your loss ms liberty Nov 9 #6
Condolences. I wish I had the words to express my sympathy. NNadir Nov 9 #7
My heart is with you. Hope22 Nov 9 #8
53 years of marriage onethatcares Nov 9 #9
Tears here for that moment, for your loss. Please remember to be kind niyad Nov 9 #24
my heart goes out to you markie Nov 9 #26
There are no words. I am so sorry for your loss. COL Mustard Nov 9 #33
My condolences 49jim Nov 9 #122
Peace PJMcK Nov 9 #10
So sorry for your loss. KS Toronado Nov 9 #11
Oh no. I'm so sorry. Diamond_Dog Nov 9 #12
I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. 💔 GentryDixon Nov 9 #13
I am so sorry. My deepest condolences to you, and I will keep you in my thoughts. HeartsCanHope Nov 9 #14
My deepest condolences. sinkingfeeling Nov 9 #15
I am so sorry lindalou65 Nov 9 #16
So Sorry for your loss-Best wishes to you and your family marked50 Nov 9 #17
She will be with you. cachukis Nov 9 #18
I am so sorry for your loss. She is at peace now. Fla Dem Nov 9 #19
So sorry to hear of your loss. 14 years is a near miracle, same happened with my dad's prostate cancer. lark Nov 9 #20
I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife. Know that your DU family niyad Nov 9 #21
I am so, so sorry... Trueblue Texan Nov 9 #22
I am so sorry for your loss. 💗 58Sunliner Nov 9 #23
Thats kozar Nov 9 #25
So very sorry for your loss Nululu Nov 9 #27
I wish you well. Botany Nov 9 #28
I am so sorry. Dr. Shepper Nov 9 #29
I'm so sorry for your loss. area51 Nov 9 #30
Oh goodness I'm so sorry. AllyCat Nov 9 #31
My consolences. Grumpy Old Guy Nov 9 #32
I am so very sorry Onethatcares, JMCKUSICK Nov 9 #34
I'm so sorry for your loss. Lonestarblue Nov 9 #35
My heart is with you Lifeafter70 Nov 9 #36
I am so sorry to hear about your son. Know that your DU family is niyad Nov 9 #65
Thank you Lifeafter70 Nov 9 #121
Strength to you as well. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #209
I wish I could do more than say things. OldBaldy1701E Nov 9 #37
So very sorry.. PittBlue Nov 9 #38
Your pain comes through your words and I could not hope more for all of us to absorb some of it.... hlthe2b Nov 9 #39
Oh, dear onethatcares, please know, as you inch your way through this, your DU family cares mightily for you. Sending KitFox Nov 9 #40
Of course you have my utmost condolences richdj25 Nov 9 #41
I am so sorry UpInArms Nov 9 #42
So sorry for your loss edhopper Nov 9 #43
So sorry for your loss. niyad Nov 9 #67
Very sorry, Ed. My sincerest condolences. Tetrachloride Nov 9 #87
Thanks edhopper Nov 9 #94
I am sorry, ed. murielm99 Nov 9 #115
Thanks edhopper Nov 9 #158
The scourge that is still too much with us! Condolences. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #210
Take care of yourself. We are all cheering for you. Stay strong. twodogsbarking Nov 9 #44
My condolences snowybirdie Nov 9 #45
Condolences LovelyStuff Nov 9 #46
I'm sorry for your loss. nt Gore1FL Nov 9 #47
I'm so sorry! Ocelot II Nov 9 #48
I am so sorry, onethatcares. badhair77 Nov 9 #49
Oh, SO sorry! 70sEraVet Nov 9 #50
I'm sorry dem4decades Nov 9 #51
🫂❤️😢🕯️ QueerDuck Nov 9 #52
I am sorry for your loss. masmdu Nov 9 #53
I know your heart is hurting. tavernier Nov 9 #54
I'm so sorry! redwitch Nov 9 #55
We care about you, True Dough Nov 9 #56
Sending comfort to you, onethatcares 💖 Clouds Passing Nov 9 #57
My sincerest condolences. Tetrachloride Nov 9 #58
My deepest condolences to you and yours Hey Joe Nov 9 #59
You have my sympathy. bluescribbler Nov 9 #60
I am so sorry. I can't even imagine 14 years. Please take care of yourself and come here and talk to us. ratchiweenie Nov 9 #61
I'm so sorry. highplainsdem Nov 9 #62
Know that those who have walked this trail are with you and here for you Attilatheblond Nov 9 #63
I'm sorry you are going through this heartache. Emile Nov 9 #64
I'm so sorry for your loss. Mr. Mustard 2023 Nov 9 #66
I am so very sorry TNNurse Nov 9 #68
So sorry. appleannie1 Nov 9 #69
I'm so sorry JustAnotherGen Nov 9 #70
So sorry...you both gave it a good fight... Karadeniz Nov 9 #71
We are with you OddMom20 Nov 9 #72
So sorry for your loss essaynnc Nov 9 #73
🫂 mwmisses4289 Nov 9 #74
My sincere condolences Sanity Claws Nov 9 #75
I am sorry for your loss LetMyPeopleVote Nov 9 #76
So sorry DownriverDem Nov 9 #77
I'm very sorry for your loss. Texin Nov 9 #78
Sorry Onethatcares. You need some hugs. Doodley Nov 9 #79
My brother on Feb 15 SuzyandPuffpuff Nov 9 #80
Hugs to your brother and you electric_blue68 Nov 9 #211
Don't try and do this alone justaprogressive Nov 9 #81
So sorry SocialDemocrat61 Nov 9 #82
I am so very sorry, onethatcares Grim Chieftain Nov 9 #83
I am so sorry, one that cares. May the memories of your dear wife be a blessing to you. debm55 Nov 9 #84
Holding you in my heart... thank you for letting us know. n/t TygrBright Nov 9 #85
Of course you hurt, my dear onethatcares . . . CaliforniaPeggy Nov 9 #86
... Aristus Nov 9 #88
Heartbreaking IndyPepper Nov 9 #89
So sorry paxmoki Nov 9 #90
So sorry to here this Mz Pip Nov 9 #91
aw heck AllaN01Bear Nov 9 #92
I join with others and send my sympathy. nt in2herbs Nov 9 #93
I know this feeling 🌠 Richluu Nov 9 #95
We're surrounding you with love. democrank Nov 9 #96
Aww! Chi67 Nov 9 #97
So sorry for your loss Tree Lady Nov 9 #98
I bet you hurt. That was a good long fight. 1WorldHope Nov 9 #99
So sorry, onethatcares. We love you. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Nov 9 #100
I'm so sorry for your loss! yardwork Nov 9 #101
Maybe additional cancer research could avoid such horrors. But of course tax cuts are more important. flashman13 Nov 9 #102
I'm so sorry... CaptainTruth Nov 9 #103
Our hearts are with you along with our condolences lostnfound Nov 9 #104
two songs saving me today onethatcares Nov 9 #105
Words never suffice in a time like this jmbar2 Nov 9 #106
You must, I think, feel eversomuch alone SorellaLaBefana Nov 9 #107
My condolences to you and your family, onethatcares Niagara Nov 9 #108
I am so sorry for your loss. Solly Mack Nov 9 #109
I am terribly sorry for your loss. AltairIV Nov 9 #110
My condolences to you and your family kimbutgar Nov 9 #111
I am so sorry to read this. hamsterjill Nov 9 #112
How fortunate your wife had you stollen Nov 9 #113
I am so sorry. murielm99 Nov 9 #114
I'm so sorry for your loss awesomerwb1 Nov 9 #116
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 MayReasonRule Nov 9 #117
I am so sorry for your loss. WestMichRad Nov 9 #118
my heart goes out to you orleans Nov 9 #119
So very sorry for your loss. byronius Nov 9 #120
I'm very sorry JoseBalow Nov 9 #123
I am so sorry! barbtries Nov 9 #124
My Heart popsdenver Nov 9 #125
Dear onethatcares...we care Wicked Blue Nov 9 #126
I'm so very sorry for your lose angrychair Nov 9 #127
Hugs Duncanpup Nov 9 #128
How awful! pandr32 Nov 9 #129
We are all thinking of you people Nov 9 #130
I am so sorry. May you know peace. LoisB Nov 9 #131
Deepest condolences to you SheltieLover Nov 9 #132
I'm so sorry. maveric Nov 9 #133
A Hug to you. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #212
Thank you maveric Nov 9 #219
YW. I hope you have support. It's relatively new on a long journey to a different life. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #222
My condolences for your loss. greatauntoftriplets Nov 9 #134
Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your wife. 14 years is a long time, may she rest in peace and may you find Ninga Nov 9 #135
So sorry for your loss IbogaProject Nov 9 #136
So sorry for your loss Picaro Nov 9 #137
I'm so sorry. Alliepoo Nov 9 #138
I'm really sorry, FoxNewsSucks Nov 9 #139
Love Never Ends Dorothy V Nov 9 #140
On no, I am so sorry KT2000 Nov 9 #141
Im sorry quakerboy Nov 9 #142
The saddest part is sellitman Nov 9 #143
Very sorry. S/V Loner Nov 9 #144
Sincere Condolences gademocrat7 Nov 9 #145
I am sorry to here this. ironman99 Nov 9 #146
So Sorry For Your Loss! Deep State Witch Nov 9 #147
Very sorry for your loss jackcrow2001 Nov 9 #148
Because of cultural conditioning I'm glad you found a group to process, unburden yourself, and heal electric_blue68 Nov 9 #214
We embrace you, onethatcares, cilla4progress Nov 9 #149
Prayers for both of you. creeksneakers2 Nov 9 #150
Oh, I'm So Very Sorry DarthDem Nov 9 #151
Very sorry oldtime dfl_er Nov 9 #152
My deepest sympathies. Mad_Dem_X Nov 9 #153
So sorry. BootinUp Nov 9 #154
I am so sorry for your loss debsy Nov 9 #155
Onethatcares, I'm so sorry that you lost your dear wife FakeNoose Nov 9 #156
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure each of us feel a little pain on your behalf in the hope that it might alleviate some Buddyzbuddy Nov 9 #157
Strong hugs around the onethatcares family and friends... Tikki Nov 9 #159
I'm so sorry! cate94 Nov 9 #160
I'm so so sorry. I understand the hurt. I'm still grieving the loss of my wonderful husband 🙏 TommieMommy Nov 9 #161
A Hug to you electric_blue68 Nov 9 #215
Condolences vishnura Nov 9 #162
May her memory be a blessing BaronChocula Nov 9 #163
I am so sorry! I pray memories of the wonderful times you shared vanessa_ca Nov 9 #164
May she rest in peace. Queso Delicioso Nov 9 #165
Oh Onethatcares choie Nov 9 #166
(((Onethatcares))) mahina Nov 9 #167
I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔 live love laugh Nov 9 #168
I am so, so sorry. EuterpeThelo Nov 9 #169
Sending love and good vibes... thomhartmann Nov 9 #170
Oh how awful for you. Stay close - we care. Marie Marie Nov 9 #171
I am so sorry ... rustysgurl Nov 9 #172
Condolences. She must have put up a heck of a fight. 14 years. So sad for you. Vinca Nov 9 #173
I'm so sorry onethatcares. skylucy Nov 9 #174
(((HUGS))) BumRushDaShow Nov 9 #175
I'm really sorry for you and your loss. Sometimes I think that us men really should "go" first because we don't..... FadedMullet Nov 9 #176
Condolences to you. spooky3 Nov 9 #177
So sorry for your loss - nt. TBF Nov 9 #178
Love, just love Roy Rolling Nov 9 #179
May you, your family and friends mercuryblues Nov 9 #180
I'm So Sorry, onethatcares 💙 Cha Nov 9 #181
Deepest Condolences ProfessorGAC Nov 9 #182
I am so very sorry. FM123 Nov 9 #183
so very sorry Skittles Nov 9 #184
As a recent widower my heart goes out to you. TexLaProgressive Nov 9 #185
So sorry to hear 4Sitka Nov 9 #186
So sorry for the passing 0f your wife. riverbendviewgal Nov 9 #187
That's way too close shocks. A hug to you. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #217
My deepest sympathy. Joinfortmill Nov 9 #188
Sending my deepest condolences Tumbulu Nov 9 #189
Caring Ksout Nov 9 #190
I'm so sorry onethatcares .... cliffside Nov 9 #191
I hope she visits you BigmanPigman Nov 9 #192
((Hugs)) AKwannabe Nov 9 #193
So very sorry. That's a long time Phentex Nov 9 #194
((one)) blm Nov 9 #195
I am so sorry. Morbius Nov 9 #196
I'm so sorry. blogslug Nov 9 #197
Just feel our love wrapping around you some_of_us_are_sane Nov 9 #198
I am so sorry for your loss. Jay25 Nov 9 #199
I feel so very sorry for you. I'm married, too, to a wonderful woman. 14 years is a hell of a battle. She was very Exp Nov 9 #200
Dear onethatcares, I understand. My dear husband of 38 years passed 26 days ago. I'm finding comfort in talking MLAA Nov 9 #201
Not long ago at all! A hug to you. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #216
Thank you for your kindness. 🩷 MLAA Nov 10 #233
I'm so sorry, MLAA Niagara Tuesday #240
Thank you for your kindness. 💕 MLAA 14 hrs ago #245
I am so sorry for your loss, MLAA debm55 15 hrs ago #243
Thank you for the hugs, Deb. I need them. MLAA 14 hrs ago #244
I am so sorry for your loss. BlueKota Nov 9 #202
I am so sorry. Thinking of you. bronxiteforever Nov 9 #203
So sorry for your loss onethatcares. Vibes to you and yours. applegrove Nov 9 #204
It's good that she had you.. Permanut Nov 9 #205
My deepest condolences. ❤️ herding cats Nov 9 #206
Time well spent. May you spend your new life well. Festivito Nov 9 #207
My heart breaks for you Mz.LadyRe22 Nov 9 #208
I hurt for you. babylonsister Nov 9 #213
I'm so sorry for your loss. Beacool Nov 9 #218
I'm sorry. 😢 Bluepinky Nov 9 #220
Dang! So sorry. Just seeing this. Strength to you as you navigate both the practical things, and the roils of emotions.. electric_blue68 Nov 9 #221
I'm very sorry for your tough, painful loss. JohnnyLib2 Nov 9 #223
The only consolation I can offer is 'she only left you against her will' Jack Valentino Nov 9 #224
May you fondly remember to good moments spent with her Xipe Totec Nov 10 #225
My most sincere condolences to you and your family. Basso8vb Nov 10 #226
I'm so sorry for your loss, OTC. summer_in_TX Nov 10 #227
I cannot find the words...I grieve by your side irisblue Nov 10 #228
that pain will always have place in your heart Shellback Squid Nov 10 #229
My heartfelt condolences Dystopian Nov 10 #230
Today we are manythatcare. Prairie_Seagull Nov 10 #231
Peace Magoo48 Nov 10 #232
I whish I had words of wisdom for you. I am not so foolish as to think I do. DFW Nov 10 #234
it's been "remission after remission" onethatcares Nov 10 #236
A cruel cycle of, "I think we've beaten it--oh, sorry, no we didn't." And you put up with that for fourteen years? DFW Nov 10 #237
cholangial carcenoma was her first onethatcares Nov 10 #238
onethatcares.... Niagara Nov 10 #239
Thinking of you this morning OTC. Nittersing Nov 10 #235
I'm so sorry. lapucelle 17 hrs ago #241
You have the right to hurt malaise 16 hrs ago #242

NNadir

(36,948 posts)
7. Condolences. I wish I had the words to express my sympathy.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 08:54 AM
Nov 9

Congratulations on having known love. May you remember the joyous times, when she was cancer free.

niyad

(128,570 posts)
24. Tears here for that moment, for your loss. Please remember to be kind
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:08 AM
Nov 9

and gentle with yourself. You do not have to figure things out right this minute. We are here for you.

markie

(23,757 posts)
26. my heart goes out to you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:13 AM
Nov 9

I kept this up after my husband died... it took me a couple of months to even think about what to do.... take care of yourself


49jim

(591 posts)
122. My condolences
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:42 AM
Nov 9

I lost my wife of 51 years ( 54 together) three years ago this month 15th November to cancer.
I can understand what you might be going through right now.
Prayers you can find a path forward.

lark

(25,713 posts)
20. So sorry to hear of your loss. 14 years is a near miracle, same happened with my dad's prostate cancer.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:04 AM
Nov 9

niyad

(128,570 posts)
21. I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife. Know that your DU family
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:05 AM
Nov 9

is here for you. Lean as hard as you need. Feel our strength and love holding you.

Trueblue Texan

(4,015 posts)
22. I am so, so sorry...
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:06 AM
Nov 9

I know there is nothing anyone can say or do to take away the pain of your loss, but I am sending you a hug with healing light and love. Peace and healing.

JMCKUSICK

(4,601 posts)
34. I am so very sorry Onethatcares,
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:22 AM
Nov 9

I can't imagine the roller coaster that must have been like.
I pray your love kept you dear to each other throughout this ordeal and made you both stronger.
Please treasure your most intimate moments like gold, and that this journey continues, and continues together in spirit.
I hope the love felt for and with you helps sustain you in this time of loss and grief.
God Speed Onethatcares.

Lonestarblue

(13,127 posts)
35. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:26 AM
Nov 9

Cancer is indeed a monster, and I’m sorry your wife had to suffer through so many years. Take care. I hope you have family and/or friends to lean on just now.

Lifeafter70

(729 posts)
36. My heart is with you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:27 AM
Nov 9

Cancer is devastating for both the patient and their loved ones. I hope you have family and friends to support you durring this time. Sixteen years is a long battle. My son is in his tenth year battle and has just entered hospice.
Please know there are many of us here to help support you.

Lifeafter70

(729 posts)
121. Thank you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:38 AM
Nov 9

Long term cancer sucks. You want your loved one to fight in hopes of remission. Every extra day you have with them is a blessing. The downside is seeing them in so much pain and there is nothing you can do for them.
My heart is sad for care's loss of his wife.

OldBaldy1701E

(9,552 posts)
37. I wish I could do more than say things.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:27 AM
Nov 9

I am sending as much good vibes as I can in your direction.

hlthe2b

(112,149 posts)
39. Your pain comes through your words and I could not hope more for all of us to absorb some of it....
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:35 AM
Nov 9

Many here do have some sense of what you are going through, as pain and grief are transcendent.

My thoughts are with you. My only hope is that you take it one day at a time and let yourself grieve. Time outside in nature can be healing as well as affording you a chance to experience your feelings without others around.

Best wishes to you.

KitFox

(473 posts)
40. Oh, dear onethatcares, please know, as you inch your way through this, your DU family cares mightily for you. Sending
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:37 AM
Nov 9

gentle hugs to you and your loved ones. I am so sorry. Get through the day. Get through the night. Peace and love🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

richdj25

(211 posts)
41. Of course you have my utmost condolences
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:39 AM
Nov 9

for the loss of your loved one. I can personally feel your pain, because I lost my wife back in 2003 to a sudden illness, and it hurt something awful. Please try to stay engaged as you're doing on this site, for it can be beneficial to your well being and good health.

Make sure you eat something

Take care

LovelyStuff

(39 posts)
46. Condolences
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:45 AM
Nov 9

Love, light and healing energy to you and your family. Most sorry for your loss. Glad you had the time with her.

70sEraVet

(5,121 posts)
50. Oh, SO sorry!
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:46 AM
Nov 9

Glad that you found the strength to post this. Please keep reaching out, and don't let yourself become isolated.

tavernier

(14,087 posts)
54. I know your heart is hurting.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:54 AM
Nov 9

I can feel it all the way here. I pray you find peace and comfort. Make time for yourself now.

True Dough

(25,176 posts)
56. We care about you,
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:58 AM
Nov 9

onethatcares. A tidal wave of emotions will likely wash over you for the coming weeks and months. Reach out for help if you need it. Take care of yourself.

Clouds Passing

(6,548 posts)
57. Sending comfort to you, onethatcares 💖
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:59 AM
Nov 9

I’m sorry for your loss. The bittersweet moment of touching your wife’s hair as she crossed over

Hey Joe

(321 posts)
59. My deepest condolences to you and yours
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:00 AM
Nov 9

Just know that she will be with you in spirit and memory always.
Take care

bluescribbler

(2,449 posts)
60. You have my sympathy.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:00 AM
Nov 9

I lost my wife of 24 years to malignant melanoma in 2009. The hurt never really goes away. I am sorry for your loss.

ratchiweenie

(8,143 posts)
61. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine 14 years. Please take care of yourself and come here and talk to us.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:01 AM
Nov 9

Attilatheblond

(7,825 posts)
63. Know that those who have walked this trail are with you and here for you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:03 AM
Nov 9

Strength, understanding, and love coming from DUers you never met, but who you can lean on.

OddMom20

(53 posts)
72. We are with you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:21 AM
Nov 9

I am so sorry you are hurting. Having walked the loss journey, I know the path but can only imagine your pain. Please know that I am thinking of you, your wife and your family.

SuzyandPuffpuff

(348 posts)
80. My brother on Feb 15
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:34 AM
Nov 9

Lost his beautiful lady after five years of that hideous reprehensible disease. I'm so sorry . Cancer is hateful

Grim Chieftain

(923 posts)
83. I am so very sorry, onethatcares
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:39 AM
Nov 9

I hope your memories will be a comfort at this difficult time. Please know I hold you in my thoughts and in my heart.

CaliforniaPeggy

(155,747 posts)
86. Of course you hurt, my dear onethatcares . . .
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:41 AM
Nov 9

My deepest condolences to you as you deal with this terrible loss. Please be gentle with yourself and reach out to us as you can.



May she rest in peace.

IndyPepper

(54 posts)
89. Heartbreaking
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:45 AM
Nov 9

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that everyone here has your back during this difficult time.

Richluu

(142 posts)
95. I know this feeling 🌠
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:51 AM
Nov 9

My husband passed just before Christmas three years ago. Grieve then rebuild.

"Heaviness was may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning."

Blessings.

1WorldHope

(1,789 posts)
99. I bet you hurt. That was a good long fight.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:53 AM
Nov 9

I hope you were with her when she passed and were able to tell her that you will see her in a blink of an eye. Time must be nothing on the other side. I hope that you have support to help you survive the loss of your life partner. 💙💙💙

flashman13

(1,777 posts)
102. Maybe additional cancer research could avoid such horrors. But of course tax cuts are more important.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:00 AM
Nov 9

My deepest condolences sir. May your wife find peace.

lostnfound

(17,294 posts)
104. Our hearts are with you along with our condolences
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:08 AM
Nov 9

Along with the grief that comes from loss is a depth of gratitude, for having had someone in our lives who was that special.

onethatcares

(16,939 posts)
105. two songs saving me today
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:08 AM
Nov 9

Turn around look at me by the vogues (Her favorite oldie and

goes to show you never can tell by Springsteen

Thank you so much for all the kind words my DU friends

jmbar2

(7,462 posts)
106. Words never suffice in a time like this
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:09 AM
Nov 9

She was blessed with 53 years of being loved deeply and cared for in her greatest times of need. That is a life well-lived.

Your DU family is here for you through these tough times. [[[hugs]]]

kimbutgar

(26,498 posts)
111. My condolences to you and your family
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:20 AM
Nov 9

Take heart in knowing she will always be with you in your heart and her spirit.

stollen

(1,008 posts)
113. How fortunate your wife had you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:23 AM
Nov 9

to be by her side all these years during her fight, and she by you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

orleans

(36,545 posts)
119. my heart goes out to you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:32 AM
Nov 9

just remember you are still loved, so much
love never dies
your love for her
and her love for you
it's the thread that will keep you connected until you meet again

for now, go slow -- move slow
grief can come in waves
knock you off balance,
so move more slowly
as you navigate these days ahead

barbtries

(30,981 posts)
124. I am so sorry!
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:02 PM
Nov 9

Please know many people are holding in their virtual arms to comfort you at this time.

popsdenver

(1,045 posts)
125. My Heart
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:04 PM
Nov 9

aches for you.........................

It was brutal on your wife......but also, extremely brutal on you all these years........

Wicked Blue

(8,376 posts)
126. Dear onethatcares...we care
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:05 PM
Nov 9

Sending you peace and healing

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

SheltieLover

(75,102 posts)
132. Deepest condolences to you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:19 PM
Nov 9

Please be very gentle with yourself & contact your local hospice for bereavement counseling to help you resolve your grief.

Ninga

(8,972 posts)
135. Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your wife. 14 years is a long time, may she rest in peace and may you find
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:28 PM
Nov 9

comfort in her memory……

IbogaProject

(5,430 posts)
136. So sorry for your loss
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:31 PM
Nov 9

Please slow down and take care of yourself you have to be mindful and build a new routine for yourself. You are at an increased risk yourself for the next six months. And try and take solice that she isn't the one left with out you.

Dorothy V

(414 posts)
140. Love Never Ends
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 12:58 PM
Nov 9

Take condolence in the knowledge that your wife's gentle presence will be with you so long as you remember her.

We are here for you. Reach out as often as you need to.

sellitman

(11,732 posts)
143. The saddest part is
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 01:46 PM
Nov 9

They could of cured this horrific disease if they wanted too.

They make too much money treating it to cure it.


ironman99

(145 posts)
146. I am sorry to here this.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 02:02 PM
Nov 9

Having been through this myself, all I can say is take care of yourself. Remember the good times with your wife.

As a fiend who had also lost his wife told me once, this grief is going to be like you are floating in the ocean. A big wave of grief will hit you and push you down but you will swim to the surface a little closer to shore. Smaller wavies will hit and just push you to shore. Eventually you will reach a point where you will get hit by a big wave but you can stand on the sea bed and roll with it, and you will be able to walk to shore.

Stay strong.

jackcrow2001

(20 posts)
148. Very sorry for your loss
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 02:05 PM
Nov 9

I can't know how it feels for you, my wife passed away from cancer April 2022 , less than a year from diagnosis to dying.
I've never considered any form of therapy as useful to me and by that I really mean just for me, as I feel kind of emotionally balanced and healthy for the most part, I did attend a survivors group recommended and organized by the Hospice that my wife spent her final few days in, and it really did me far more good than I would have imagined. My family and friends could not have been more supportive and loving......but it just felt wrong to me to express my feelings like I would burden family and friends with how colorless I felt at the time. Also as a male of my age even though I don't think there is anything wrong with a man crying, it feels wrong, I still can't break that programming. I was able to say things, express myself, and openly cry in front of other people in the survivors group that I could not have done anywhere else, it helped me to heal emotionally far quicker than if I had not gone there. I can't possibly know if a similar forum would be of use to you, but thought I would share how much it helped me. Whenever asked how I'm doing now after time has passed, I can honestly say that my feelings, thoughts and emotions are based on the 25 wonderful years we had together, it was truly an awesome relationship, and that is the center of my mindset, I would take the time we had together and cherish it again and again forever.
Healing and hope to you
jackcrow2001

electric_blue68

(24,954 posts)
214. Because of cultural conditioning I'm glad you found a group to process, unburden yourself, and heal
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:25 PM
Nov 9

faster expected.

DarthDem

(5,437 posts)
151. Oh, I'm So Very Sorry
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 02:13 PM
Nov 9

She sounds like quite a wonderful fighter. May her memory be a blessing, and my very, very best wishes to you in this time.

FakeNoose

(39,509 posts)
156. Onethatcares, I'm so sorry that you lost your dear wife
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 02:30 PM
Nov 9

Thank you for sharing your pain and sorrow with us on DU. Believe me DU cares about the problems we face, it's not just about politics. Did you know that we have an entire section of Support Forums, where you can connect with others who have recently lost their loved ones? If you're feeling alone you can connect with others in the same situation and dealing with the complicated emotions.

It's called the Bereavement Forum, and it's here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1315

Also there is the Cancer Support Forum, and another one called End of Life Issues.

May your dear wife rest in peace and may her memory be a blessing.

Buddyzbuddy

(1,924 posts)
157. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure each of us feel a little pain on your behalf in the hope that it might alleviate some
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 02:32 PM
Nov 9

of what you feel.

Always remember her smile and the way you made her laugh, the last time you embraced her, the first time you embraced her. The "look" when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
Feel sadness at your loss and then remember the joy you shared for so long.

Please be well.

vanessa_ca

(607 posts)
164. I am so sorry! I pray memories of the wonderful times you shared
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 03:03 PM
Nov 9

alleviate the sorrow in your heart soon. May she rest in peace.

mahina

(20,157 posts)
167. (((Onethatcares)))
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 03:15 PM
Nov 9

Sending you a prayer for peace.

Thank you for letting us know.

Will be thinking of you ✨✨✨

EuterpeThelo

(124 posts)
169. I am so, so sorry.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 03:18 PM
Nov 9

Sending love and light. I lost my soulmate five and a half years ago and understand how much you are hurting right now.

thomhartmann

(3,993 posts)
170. Sending love and good vibes...
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 03:22 PM
Nov 9

I just can’t imagine…. I remember when Louise was diagnosed with breast cancer and how frightened I was. She’s good now, but ouch…

rustysgurl

(1,095 posts)
172. I am so sorry ...
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 03:55 PM
Nov 9

... thinking of you during this time. I hope you have family and friends surrounding you with love and support.

FadedMullet

(571 posts)
176. I'm really sorry for you and your loss. Sometimes I think that us men really should "go" first because we don't.....
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 04:14 PM
Nov 9

.......do well with the loss. I hope that in your case you can bounce back and thrive, have a new and different life in the near future.

Roy Rolling

(7,355 posts)
179. Love, just love
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 04:33 PM
Nov 9

And with love, you may be able to survive the passage of time.

Time will heal, but it doesn’t take away the pain now. God bless, know we all have taken a moment of our time to share with you in your pain.

Skittles

(168,672 posts)
184. so very sorry
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 04:59 PM
Nov 9

so sick of cancer, we should have had a cure by now

someone is always here on DU, we care

riverbendviewgal

(4,379 posts)
187. So sorry for the passing 0f your wife.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 05:46 PM
Nov 9

I lost mine in 2001 because of Cancer. Our son died in1999 from Cancer. My husband already had his cancer then. It's not easy. Get all the help you can get. I am seeking a grieving group again. As I have no family but only a mentally ill son in England who needs my help that I can't give. I have a few friends who try to help me.

My thoughts are with you.

Ksout

(20 posts)
190. Caring
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 06:57 PM
Nov 9

Everyone grieves in their own way and time. However, I hope all the loving thoughts, experiences, and empathy have helped today in your journey. I am so glad you reached out.

cliffside

(1,531 posts)
191. I'm so sorry onethatcares ....
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 07:00 PM
Nov 9

and hope you can find some solace in knowing you were there for your wife.

You always had kind words for me when times were difficult.

Be kind to yourself.





BigmanPigman

(54,380 posts)
192. I hope she visits you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 07:01 PM
Nov 9

She may already have visited you. Be sure to keep your senses keen and alert for any sort of sign that she is OK, loves you and will be there waiting for you at "home".

This happened, and still happens to me after my dad and my 2 dogs died (they were my babies).

If you are able to relax at all (it is very difficult when you are still in a state of shock) you may want to notice any sounds, smells, voices, dreams, etc. That is usually when I have been visited by my dad and dogs after they died. It's comforting and I welcome it and keep track of the visits in a journal. I get many at 11 AM (the time my dog died here at our home). A lot of people don't believe in this stuff since it can't be explained by science but once they experience something personal they realize that this is real and just not understood at this time.

Exp

(686 posts)
200. I feel so very sorry for you. I'm married, too, to a wonderful woman. 14 years is a hell of a battle. She was very
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 08:51 PM
Nov 9

strong, now you must be strong as well, please, grieve but be good to yourself.

MLAA

(19,609 posts)
201. Dear onethatcares, I understand. My dear husband of 38 years passed 26 days ago. I'm finding comfort in talking
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:03 PM
Nov 9

to him. I reassure him that he is exactly where he is supposed to be to be and that one day, just not today, that I will be okay. I can sometimes feel his presence when I talk to him especially when it’s quiet and I meditate first for a few minutes (basically just close my eyes and clear my head of thoughts). I’ve found some comfort and freedom in solitude the first couple of weeks and then in seeing friends one at a time after that. But mostly talking to him, though I’ve also done my share of screaming in the empty house and having meltdowns. I just give into my emotions then go back to talking to him. ❤️. Sending kind thoughts to you.

Niagara

(11,148 posts)
240. I'm so sorry, MLAA
Tue Nov 11, 2025, 04:18 PM
Tuesday

I was on vacation that week and so if you posted about your dear husband I missed it.

Here's kind thoughts to you as well. ❤️

Permanut

(7,765 posts)
205. It's good that she had you..
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:24 PM
Nov 9

and now you have memories, some not so good, but I'm bettin' you have some good ones too.

Festivito

(13,825 posts)
207. Time well spent. May you spend your new life well.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 09:49 PM
Nov 9

I know. You can feel a little lost at this time. Little conciliations I no longer need to take. They slowly disappear. Everything will be alright. You'll be alright.

Mz.LadyRe22

(8 posts)
208. My heart breaks for you
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:07 PM
Nov 9

Thank you for letting us know…and sharing with us……II’m so so so sorry for your loss…………I feel your pain and loss…..Blessings my friend❤️

Beacool

(30,494 posts)
218. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:37 PM
Nov 9

I hope that you have family and friends supporting you in this difficult time. May your dear wife rest in peace.




electric_blue68

(24,954 posts)
221. Dang! So sorry. Just seeing this. Strength to you as you navigate both the practical things, and the roils of emotions..
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 10:46 PM
Nov 9

or holes of emptiness.
Everyone grieves in their own way. Remember that. And all the love you had for each other.

I hope you have friends, and other family to help support you. And glad at least a previous poster mentioned the DU Support groups if/when you're up for hose.

Jack Valentino

(4,049 posts)
224. The only consolation I can offer is 'she only left you against her will'
Sun Nov 9, 2025, 11:55 PM
Nov 9

I am very sorry for your loss.... I can't imagine having to endure such a loss....

(I had a wife once--- but she left me because of my own personal failures..)

I am sure that your wife would want you to
try to pick up the pieces and carry on, after an understandable period of mourning
--- and not surrender to despair!

(My father did that after my mother died,
devoted himself to looking after his children,
with such assistance as they needed--- and he was amazing in that---

particularly, as a child, I always assumed that he would die before my mother,
because he was a smoker--- but he quit that habit more than 20 years before he died...)

My heart goes out to you!



summer_in_TX

(3,938 posts)
227. I'm so sorry for your loss, OTC.
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 12:47 AM
Nov 10

Sending hugs.

May all the wonderful memories be a blessing and a comfort to you.

DFW

(59,382 posts)
234. I whish I had words of wisdom for you. I am not so foolish as to think I do.
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 10:47 AM
Nov 10

My wife had cancer. Twice. She beat it twice. So far. Both my parents and all of their siblings had cancer. With me, it's not "if," but "when." We have been losing family and friends to cancer for over 40 years now. It's a club no one should be made to join. How does one console that?

If some superbillionaire makes a typo in his will and leaves me ten billion by mistake, I'm donating 95% of it to the battle against cancer, because it's just time, dammit. It's time to defeat the monster.

onethatcares

(16,939 posts)
236. it's been "remission after remission"
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 10:59 AM
Nov 10

since 2010 and each time it changed form , name and shape. She just got tired of being a human pin cushion test pilot.

The morning of the day before she passed we discussed the end. I'm sadly glad we did because even with a living will and a dnr ittt was
so hard to tell the doctors to stop everything.

Thank you all for the kind words and virtual hand holding and hugs.

You people are the best..

DFW

(59,382 posts)
237. A cruel cycle of, "I think we've beaten it--oh, sorry, no we didn't." And you put up with that for fourteen years?
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 11:15 AM
Nov 10

I think the two of you should have been able to stop a charging rhino in the early years.

With us, the first time, it was breast cancer. She got the standard cycle: operation, chemo, radiation, month-long stay at a cancer rehab spa.
The second time, it was a rare kind known here as "the murderer." It was discovered as a chance bit of luck, and the oncologist said it was extremelybad news, but that it was a silent killer that no one evercaught this early. Brutal operation, no chemo (onc said no point--either we got it all and you're good, or we didn't and you're not), but all 84 biopsies taken came back negative, which they said they had never seen. And then the month-long stay at the cancer rehab spa again. It has not been a smooth ride, but any cancer ride that leaves the patient still standing is smoother than the alternative. It sounds like you two stood longer than most. It's not much of a consolation now, is it?

onethatcares

(16,939 posts)
238. cholangial carcenoma was her first
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 01:06 PM
Nov 10

Doctors took out part of her intestines, and a few other parts and after 7 days in hospital was discharged and went back to work with the "we'll keep an eye on you".pep talk.
Two years later she tested positive for pancreatic cancer, another stint in hospital with a Whipple surgery and a partial removal or her liver and more chemo, three days at home and she went back to work so as not to piss off the company she worked for. She arranged her schedule so she could get chemo and work afterwards. That kept her in insurance. She went into remission for almost 8 yrs then one morning she had sharp pain in her side and off to the hospital she went. ONC said he had super chemo that worked 99% of the time, She was in the 1% that it didn't so off to chemo/radiation which kinda worked but she developed 3 brain tumors the day before fathers day this year and underwent removal of the largest and radiation on the two small ones. ONC tells us he has a wonder drug that works 99.5% of the time so off we went last week for testing and to get her scheduled for wonder drug infusion. That's set for Nov 20. Next week. On Nov 8 we had fed our dog and she went to set her on the floor and then she fell out of the chair seat and banged her head.

I call 911 and they were johnny on the spot taking her to the emergency room. i followed and stayed with her. She was talking to me and the triage nurses and then stopped. Nurse tried to get responses from her to no avail and they moved her out of triqge to q private room where she passed about 6 hours later.

I had the privlege to be with her that entire time and as hard as it was I wouldn't trade that time for anything

I'm sorry I got so wordy but my fingers wouldn't stop typing.

Thank you for your kind words.......I feel them in my heart

Niagara

(11,148 posts)
239. onethatcares....
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 02:21 PM
Nov 10

I wanted to address something that you wrote.


I'm sorry I got so wordy but my fingers wouldn't stop typing.



Don't ever apologize for getting wordy. You talk about it all you want to. And you keep talking about it all you want to.


DU is here to listen. I might not have any other sound advice for you except keep talking about it. It's only a small fraction of the grieving process. Again, don't apologize.

Sending good thoughts your way during this difficult time.


Nittersing

(7,919 posts)
235. Thinking of you this morning OTC.
Mon Nov 10, 2025, 10:56 AM
Nov 10

I know your world is upside down right now.

Hugging is all I know how to do.

malaise

(291,198 posts)
242. You have the right to hurt
Mon Nov 17, 2025, 07:19 PM
16 hrs ago

In time you will be filled with lovely memories.
Deepest sympathy

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