cruel and nasty. Party at my house!

and “bless” us with their continued presence.

But if you become an incorporeal being and you're just going to hang around with Jesus as an immortal soul, do you need clothes at all? I'm wondering if the rapturees' clothes and accessories will just fall off as they waft off to Heaven, but if so, I hope they're wearing some nice jewelry that falls into my yard, maybe along with the keys to a new Audi.

Hopefully they'll buy new clothes for the occasion.

...because your clothes will be left behind.

A really creepy billboard that showed a man's white dress shirt, chino trousers and a pair of shoes lying on a patch of grass, empty, with the words, "Are you ready for the Rapture?" in very large letters. No socks. Couldn't tell about underwear.

and who gets left behind.

Last edited Tue Sep 23, 2025, 08:31 PM - Edit history (1)

If I remember correctly, God got really pissed off when somebody started wearing a fig leaf.

There's gonna be a lot free stuff for the taking.

I’m no saint, I still have anger and resentments, and I doubt I’m the sort who’ll be carted off to the Pearly Gates.

"Pearly Gates" refers to both the conceptual Christian afterlife and a popular Japanese golf apparel brand, so "appropriate clothes" depends on context. If referring to the Christian concept, dress modestly, respectfully, and appropriately for the occasion, like a church service.

Bolding by AI

Anyway, here's a joke

A guy is standing 3rd in line at the Pearly Gates. He hears St, Peter asks the guy ahead what he did to deserve being allowed in. The guy told a story, and St, Peter welcomed him in. When it was the guy's turn, St. Peter asks him what he's done to get into Heaven.
The guy said, "I was on my way home from work, and stopped at a light. An older lady tried to cross with the light, but there was a gang on motorbikes ahead of me. Every time she tried to cross, they'd rev their bikes and creep forward. She'd step back on the curb and they laughed. The light went through 3 changes and they kept it up. I was finally fed up, jumped out of my car, and pushed one of the bikers. He and his bike fell over."
St. Peter said, "Wow! You did that? Did the lady get across the street?"
The guy said, "Yes, she did."
St. Peter said, "Welcome to Heaven. Follow me."
As they walked through the gate, St. Peter asked over his shoulder, "When did this happen?"
The guy replied, "A few minutes ago."

.