Man Reminds Self Woman On Chiquita Banana Sticker Only Smiling At Him Because That's Her Job

Published: April 21, 2020

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Putting a stop to things before he got carried away with any fanciful notions that she was into him, local man John Minas reportedly reminded himself Monday that the woman on the Chiquita banana sticker was only smiling at him because that was her job. “Man, I always fall for it,” Minas said of the fruit-hat-wearing mascot, explaining how he thought for a moment she might be attracted to him before he remembered that she consistently maintained a friendly disposition toward customers in order to help sell bananas.

“Of course she smiled at me—she smiles at everyone! Seriously, who was I even kidding? What would an amazing, beautiful woman like Miss Chiquita even want with a guy like me?” Minas went on to tell reporters that the woman on the Sun-Maid raisin box, however, was flirting shamelessly with him and had been “wanting to get in my pants for a long time.”

https://theonion.com/man-reminds-self-woman-on-chiquita-banana-sticker-only-1842979185/

(satire)