Your beautiful wife obviously felt the same way about you!

Last edited Fri Jul 25, 2025, 10:14 AM - Edit history (1)

She found me somewhat intriguing, as it wasn't typical of Americans visiting West Berlin to be semi-fluent in German, and her English was not good at the time. We got along well enough to spend a few nights together, but she just figured it was a nice little summer fling, and that she would never see me again. To her, the USA was like the end of the galaxy. She knew it was "there," but it's someplace she thought she would never see. She was still in the middle of her studies to become a social worker, and had no thoughts of settling down anywhere, or with anyone. Country girl that she was, she turned down offers to become a model (sounded boring) to pursue social work. She came from a tiny town in the Northwest where her family was years in getting "hi-tech" items like a refrigerator and a TV.

It took us eight years to find the time (and the will!) to finally get married, and even then, the only reason we finally got around to it was when my brother asked me if I wanted to be best man at his wedding in Washington. I said absolutely, and I'd see if my (then-) girlfriend could make it, too. He spontaneously said, well, if both of you will be there, you might as well join in the fun and make it a double wedding. I thought--wow, no arrangements! I said I'd call her and ask. I was in Boston at the time. So, I picked up the phone, dialed Germany, laid out the situation for her, and told her of my brother's suggestion. She said the German equivalent of "sure, works for me." Not exactly the most romantic of marriage proposals or acceptances, but we had been together for nearly eight years at this point. The wedding was set for Washington, and her mom had never even been on an airplane. Her dad had, but only on a military medical evacuation plane bringing him back after losing a leg at Stalingrad at age 18. Commercial aviation had made some advances in the intervening 40 years.

The first few years, we conducted a long distance relationship between Germany and North America. She eventually came to spend a year with me in Boston in 1978 as a "compatibility test." We passed the test, but for her, moving to North America was not in the cards. Ergo, I started spending lots of time in Europe. In 1975, I asked the outfit I worked for (joined in August 1975--FIFTY years ago!) if I could have some extra time off to visit her, and, progressive thinkers that they were, they said, try and make some contacts for us so that you can combine work and play. Don't forget, I joined as one of maybe twelve barely 20-somethings in 1975. Because of my foreign forays starting in October 1975, we now have offices in Germany, Holland, Belgium, France, Switzerland, Hong Kong, Japan, the UK, and probably a few I have forgotten. So, my presence in Europe was not just a series of privileged extended vacations. My work soon was spent more there than in North America. We were expanding anyway, so my job in the USA was covered. From twelve 20-somethings in 1975, we are now over a thousand employees worldwide (same two guys running it!). I'm now a legal EU resident, with none of the perks (no health insurance, no pension) and double the taxes, but at least I still have a beautiful wife and two very special daughters.


You can't put a price on that.

You are a very lucky man!

she did not know how outstanding beautiful she was.

I don't press the point any more. She knows what I think. She just thinks I have weird taste.

Of course, she chose to stay with me, so I'm the last one to point the finger for having weird taste.

as I see you.

Her reply - Honey if I was in your head, how you see me is the last thing i would I would be interested in.

It is definitely a case of "where DID the time go?"

There are some lotteries whose payout is more important than a pile of cash.

Real truth!

Lucky S.O.B.!

She still only thinks of herself as a retired social worker whose daughters turned out "OK."

(you're right about the lucky S.O.B.)

Congratulations, DFW!

And concentrate on what's good. It doesn't always work. But it's easier to fight the mosquitoes inside the house than the hungry dragon outside.

...comes to mind when you describe your early partnership. Very sweet.

Your love for her radiates from each one of them.

California Peggy has met her. Ask her. She understands. It's hard to explain.

Sheer happenstance brought you a lifetime of joy, bliss, intrigue and (don't forget) travel. When I was younger I just wanted to meet that one special woman and live (the proverbial) happily ever after. Didn't quite work out (by light years!). I do wish that I could've met you way back and shared a gentlemanly handshake. Maybe some of that luck you had might have rubbed off.

Congratulations, DFW! You're an inspiration. And, the next time you're with your lovely wife and daughters give them a big congratulatory Heavy Metal hug from me! Because you rock, ya lucky ol' bastard!

You might have dodged a major bullet with that handshake, though. My luck with her was indeed pure happenstance, but maybe that’s because I passed on most of my bad karma in a handshake to some unlucky soul early on. Some things we’re just better off not knowing.

It wasn’t always a free ride, either. She has had cancer twice, and even though the second time was a rare form known among German oncologists as “the murderer,” since it is almost always fatal, she was that one in ten thousand to beat it. Her brother had cancer, too. He did not survive it. Both my parents had it, and so did all their siblings. So, with me, it’s not “if,” but “when?” But there is nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, so we’ll keep on keeping on, and continue to hope that that particular check got lost in the mail.

Always love reading your stories. I wish many more years ahead for the both of you

We never know which year, or day, is the last.

Next June is our 50th.

As I said in my post, this is the 51st anniversary of our having met. The paperwork and the formalities came later.

You're a lucky man DFW. Congratulations and best wishes!

So, your guess is spot on!

So nice to see good news from time to time!

And wishes for many more!! I love hearing your stories!

There's nothing you can do, you're either lucky, or you're not.

-- Mal

Then all I can say is that I would be kicked out of every casino in Las Vegas, if I were ever to try to gamble there.

I have never been involved in a serious card game in my life.

I guess I need to get out more

51 years!

At the Red Inn, Provincetown, MA:


Outside the restaurant--a big rainbow to highlight the lady of the evening:


A sunset to show off:


And a few sandpipers to see us off back to the house:


To think that in December, 1974, this was the first photo of us together (sic transit gloria mundi):

I posted about them last year:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100219236189

I met my wife on July 25th too, in '98, and we got married ten years later. I missed our meeting days were the same. I was more set up as a mutual friend invited us both to the beach beautiful sunset, ride back to NYC. Then I met her cats, and I coukd tell her character by how actualized they were. We also had lots in common and I described her dream date to the Metropitan Museum of Art when deciding an earlier or later ferry back to the car. We didn't get the oportunity to really click at the beach as I was recovering from food poisoning, I had eaten watermelon two nites before and was 'a maybe' on the trip. Anyways congratulations on figuring it out and Happy Anniversery!

I was fortunate enough to escape the food poisoning. Summer, 1974, in a West Berlin folk music cabaret. My set at the cabaret was over, so I snuck back into the audience to chat with a girl I had met the night before. She said she was leaving for China the next day, but I should meet her friend from “up north.” I said, “sure, where is she?” She said, “right here,” and leaned back. I am seldom left breathless or speechless, but I was then. Not having the faintest idea what kind of pickup line to try on a girl like that, I just stuck out my hand and said hi. Much to my surprise, it was the right one.

Asking which instrument or songs.

I did mostly solos on the 12 string guitar. On occasion, I also played in the States on bass and keyboards with rock bands, and in Europe on balalaika and members of the tamburitsa family of Balkan instruments, since I was also into Russian and Balkan folk music. If you ever hear music from either album by The Holland-America Line, I was heavily involved with them and their mid-1980s recordings. The first album was called “Maiden Voyage,” and the second one was called “Cornbread, Kilts and Cossacks.”