I'd kind of like to hear DU's take on whether or not competitive eating is a sport.

Hard "no" from me.

One requires hand-eye coordination, strength (at the high competitive level), stamina, and endless hours of practice to be world-class. Fund me an overweight workd-class golfer. I'll wait; though it will be a long while.
Eating requires none of those.
Your opinion is woefully misinformed.
Had you said poker or chess, I would agree. To be world-class at those takes talent, but not athletic ability. Those are games, but not sports.

I'll wait, though it will be a long while.

20 Overweight Pro Golfers

have either never played it or played once and shot 160.

Not even close.

Every year when highlights pop up on ESPN, I turn the channel before I start retching like I'm a "competitor."

I always cheer for the Bay Area hero!

70.5 hot dogs in 10 minutes... His 17th victory!

Truly a professional athlete.