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zanana1

(6,430 posts)
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 08:14 AM Jun 2025

How do you handle anger?

I had an argument with someone on Thursday and I'm still feeling angry. I hate it. It eats away at me. Do you have any tips on how to rein it in or at least subdue it? I'd appreciate any suggestions.

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How do you handle anger? (Original Post) zanana1 Jun 2025 OP
Take ice cubes outside & throw them at sidewalk, SheltieLover Jun 2025 #1
Thank you. zanana1 Jun 2025 #2
Just a couple of suggestions: FalloutShelter Jun 2025 #3
Therapeutic journaling SheltieLover Jun 2025 #4
Channel the anger into a productive activity SheltieLover Jun 2025 #5
Yale is offering very popular Science of Well Being free! SheltieLover Jun 2025 #6
Sometimes a long yell helps. Sun-Moon Jun 2025 #7
Sit down and breathe normally. Close your eyes. Realize you cannot let let this get bigger than you. marble falls Jun 2025 #8
I don't know you on a personal level and so I'm not sure what would work for you Niagara Jun 2025 #9
All of the above. ms liberty Jun 2025 #10
Laughing at myself quaint Jun 2025 #11
I thank you all for helping. zanana1 Jun 2025 #12
I take a long walk on a path/trail with few people (or at a time with less people) and vent... hlthe2b Jun 2025 #13
This helps me Zackzzzz Jun 2025 #14
A lot better than before my heart attack. Iggo Jun 2025 #15
Mine is similar to your LogDog75 Jun 2025 #16
I don't know... still trying to work through 6 decades of it. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E Jun 2025 #17
What works for me is to get outside to a place where I can see and hear the sights and sounds of nature: KitFox Jun 2025 #18
How about channeling it into a protest? soldierant Jun 2025 #19
The thing is - you don't have to be reactive womanofthehills Jun 2025 #20
I like to clean when I'm angry. Screaming Luciferous Jun 2025 #21

SheltieLover

(73,855 posts)
1. Take ice cubes outside & throw them at sidewalk,
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 08:17 AM
Jun 2025

Punch a pillow is another good one.

Journal & restory the ending to a more favorable outcome for you.

I hope those help.

FalloutShelter

(13,824 posts)
3. Just a couple of suggestions:
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 08:21 AM
Jun 2025

4 square breathing- breath in peace for four beats,
Breath out anger for four beats. It’s all about intention.
I don’t know what your living situation is, but get outside into nature somewhere. Go for a walk.
These two things combined work like magic for me. Hope it can work for you.

SheltieLover

(73,855 posts)
5. Channel the anger into a productive activity
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 08:27 AM
Jun 2025

For ex, go for a run, detail your car, mow the lawn, weed the garden...

Exercise generally will burn off the anger...

Good luck!

Sun-Moon

(214 posts)
7. Sometimes a long yell helps.
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 08:30 AM
Jun 2025

I’ve also punched the pillow. Will try the ice cube method. Smashing things would help I think. I also go for a run or lift weights.
A side note- I knew back in November that I couldn’t go through another 4 years with TACO man without meds to help take the edge off. I was miserable during the first term. So I went to the doctor. I take a very low dose of a happy pill each day and it has helped to keep the rage / anger down. I can focus and not be distracted with overwhelming feelings.
Thanks for posting this question to allow me to share in a safe place. I hope your anger subsides soon and you feel better.
Take care.

marble falls

(68,712 posts)
8. Sit down and breathe normally. Close your eyes. Realize you cannot let let this get bigger than you.
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 08:35 AM
Jun 2025

Niagara

(10,819 posts)
9. I don't know you on a personal level and so I'm not sure what would work for you
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 09:24 AM
Jun 2025

I'm a firm believer in the following:

1. Screaming into a pillow

2. Taking slow deep breaths

3. Journaling

4. Writing a letter to the person but not sending it

5. Walking, yoga, or going for a bicycle ride. Or some sort of physical exercise

6. Music

7. Finding a solution or resolving the problem

8. Talking about it with a trusted friend or relative. Don't reach out to just anyone...this person needs to have your back while not "taking sides", perhaps this person could offer a solution

Good luck, zanana1



quaint

(4,178 posts)
11. Laughing at myself
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 09:43 AM
Jun 2025

I start by phony laughing in front of a mirror, more like snarling.
Just takes a minute before I am truly laughing and my ugly anger turns off.
Really.

zanana1

(6,430 posts)
12. I thank you all for helping.
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 10:51 AM
Jun 2025

Thanks for taking the time to make me see things differently. I appreciate it. I'm going to try all of your suggestions.

hlthe2b

(111,449 posts)
13. I take a long walk on a path/trail with few people (or at a time with less people) and vent...
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 11:00 AM
Jun 2025

I mull the issue around, consider actions/reactions, and basically get it out of my system or find a way to "deal" or be objective about it. But what is helping is being outside, physically moving (fast or "slug-like" as my mood changes), and letting myself work through it. Suppressing doesn't really work in the long term IMO.

Zackzzzz

(139 posts)
14. This helps me
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 03:33 PM
Jun 2025

I so agree with #4.
Write it down.
Writing gets it out of your head.
For me, writing stops the ruminating.
Writing is permanent.

Also, I created a picture book, mostly nature.
The pictures are calming.
I imagine I am standing in the photo.

Iggo

(49,227 posts)
15. A lot better than before my heart attack.
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 06:37 PM
Jun 2025


Mostly, I try to remember: “It just doesn’t matter.”

LogDog75

(876 posts)
16. Mine is similar to your
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 06:51 PM
Jun 2025

What I do is ask myself "Is this really something to be angry about?" Ninety-five percent of the time it's not. The other five percent I try to figure out why I'm angry. I also imagine my anger is a soggy sponge and I mentally squeeze it until all the anger is released.

KitFox

(428 posts)
18. What works for me is to get outside to a place where I can see and hear the sights and sounds of nature:
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 07:39 PM
Jun 2025

Birds singing, insects buzzing, waves crashing, rivers flowing, breeezes blowing, clouds drifting, flowers blooming. If I can also couple that with rocking in a rocking chair or swinging on a swing, all the better. The advice to write down how you are feeling really does help. Whenever I have experienced anger that I can’t seem to let go of, I find that doing random acts of kindness really helps me leave it behind. Anger is tough, isn’t it since it usually gets all tied up with hurt! Sending hugs and well wishes 🩷

soldierant

(8,958 posts)
19. How about channeling it into a protest?
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 09:03 PM
Jun 2025

Anger is the best motivator to change things. Use it to work on making good change.

womanofthehills

(10,401 posts)
20. The thing is - you don't have to be reactive
Sun Jun 1, 2025, 10:42 PM
Jun 2025

Rational Emotive Therapy - you can often choose to be angry or not - if someone provokes me - I don’t take the bait.

I refuse to argue - I will hang up the phone or leave the room before I argue. Some people love to argue - but because they do, it doesn’t mean I have to argue back.

When I was young I was really into Albert Ellis - the father of rational emotive therapy & his books (and lectures) really inspired me to be more zen in my life.

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