Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

justaprogressive

(3,398 posts)
Sun Apr 20, 2025, 10:40 AM Sunday

The meaning of Easter

Three men tragically are killed in a car accident and find themselves at the gates of Heaven. They’re met by Saint Peter. “Guys, welcome to Heaven! Entrance is not automatic, you need to pass a little test. In the old days, we used to examine your life, weigh your sins against your good deeds, that sort of thing. But these days, we’ve found that we’ve had to relax the entrance requirements quite a bit, as otherwise we’re finding very few candidates make it in. So here’s the test: What’s the meaning of Easter?”

The first unfortunate soul nervously speaks out. “Well, er, Easter is when we cut down a tree, bring it in the house and decorate it, and Santa Claus brings us presents, and…”

Peter cuts him off. “No, you’re thinking about Christmas. You go to Hell,” and with that, the man disappears in a puff of sulphuric smoke and fire.

The next guy says, “Uhhh, Easter, hmm. Oh yeah, that’s when we have parades, politicians make speeches, we have picnics, at night we shoot off fireworks…”

The Vicar of Christ sighs. “No, that’s not even a religious holiday. You’re thinking of American Independence Day. You go with the other guy.” Poof, and he was gone.

The third man confidently begins. “The story of Easter is how our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was crucified on the Cross to atone for our sins. He suffered, died, and was buried in the tomb. But on the third day, Easter Sunday, He rose from the dead, the stone covering the tomb was rolled away…”

Peter is ready to cue the celestial trumpets and swing open the Gates.

“… Jesus came out, saw his shadow, and we all had six more weeks of winter.”


2 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The meaning of Easter (Original Post) justaprogressive Sunday OP
Oldie but goodie Marthe48 Sunday #1
Lol. mwmisses4289 Sunday #2

Marthe48

(20,504 posts)
1. Oldie but goodie
Sun Apr 20, 2025, 10:54 AM
Sunday

oldie for me

How about this one: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a smart maga and a dumb maga are walking down the road and see $100 bill. Who got it?
The dumb maga, because there is no such thing as Santa, the Easter Bunny or a smart maga.



mwmisses4289

(919 posts)
2. Lol.
Sun Apr 20, 2025, 11:46 AM
Sunday

That reminds me of this one.

Three nuns die and get to the pearly gates, where they are met by St. Peter.
Pete says "welcome, ladies. Before we let you in, you each must answer a question." Then nuns look at each other, a little worried, but nod their heads. Pete turns to the first one and asks " Who was the first man?" The nun gets a relieved smile on her face and says "Adam!" The trumpets sound, the celestial choir sings, the Pearly gates swing open, and she walks through. The gates close as Pete turns to the second nun, who is a little less anxious, and asks "Who was the first women?" "Eve" she responds, and the whole process repeats and in she goes.
He turns to the third nun, and asks "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The poor nun turns pale, looks up, looks down, fidgets with her rosary. Finally, in a soft voice, she says "Gee, that's a hard one". The trumpets sound, the Allelulia chorus sounds, and in she goes to the sound of celestial clapping.

Latest Discussions»The DU Lounge»The meaning of Easter