A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned on
a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their pet
parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they
had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to
eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes
inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot
pursuit.

Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house
will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that her husband
will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to
my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so
long", he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the
bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a
blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat
ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car...