I never had children. Didn’t want to inflict this shitty life on any other soul.

I hope you sleep well tonight and have pleasant dreams, and I hope you wake up tomorrow with the strength to keep on trudging forward.

💙💙💙💙💙💙

and large pleasures and "victories" whenever and wherever they come. Pleasant dreams LuckyCharms.

thing that keeps me from shriveling into a hot mess is that I keep telling myself that I will re-bound from that low point, and so far, I am still standing. I will live to fight another day. We are with you Lucky.

but if we can come to terms with this indifference, then our existence...can have genuine meaning. However vast the darkness, we must supply our own light." - S. Kubrick

"To be human* is to know that in the end the world will break your heart."

*slightly edited

so I plugged it into AI. And I still don't have an answer, but even Ai's initial response was, "Whoa, buddy, you need to get some help. Here's a number for a suicide hotline."

So you know that prerogative is pretty, pretty negative. While it might be easy to relate to that philosophy at times, it does gloss over a lot of the beauty in life. Think of all the amazing places you've been, the good friends you've made and the laughs and memories you've shared, the spouse who has been by your side as you've experienced much of life, the faithful dog you have who is happy to see you every time. In your case, think of the things you've made with your own hands, and the satisfaction that gave you. And on and on.

Yeah, it does suck to be getting old and things begin to break down and you are losing those people who you hold dear. But getting old is also a privilege.

What about the kid born with cancer who doesn't make it past age three? That kid never had the chance to know all the pleasures you've enjoyed in life. What quote would that youngster post here on the forum?

"You think you got a raw deal, well, let me tell ya..."

And even those who have suffered a lot of losses late in life, they still have their confidants here on the DU who are happy to type responses they hope are meaningful at 2:30 a.m.

You're among friends here, people who care, Lucky. Rest well.

Heh. Well, there is still time for that to be true. Maybe I will suggest that quote to him!


"The game is rigged, first of all. Life is suffering, you should know that. Any little victories that you may have on the way will be dwarfed by the huge sense of failure and hopelessness you feel, probably that same night when you go to bed. Victories are short-lived. Pain lasts, and as you age, it gets worse. Life just gets worse, old friends and family members start to die, until you are left with a total sense of anxiety and despair, and probably turn to alcoholism and drugs and die alone when the people who are left abandon you".



That would certainly be "poetic justice".

and if we say we do, it's ego. So you don't remember every single thing you did that boosted someone else. Those things are easy to forget, but man, we sure remember the things we did wrong. And the things that didn't go the way we wanted. And the people who harmed us. I spend too much time dwelling on things that were probably not as important as I still think they are. I am always happy when I run into people I forgot about and they remind me of something nice I did. It gives me a peek at the big picture.

As for pain and loss, I've already had my share and I dread the other shoes that will drop. It helps to think that my loved ones are safe, healthy, happy, even if they aren't on this side of the veil. They are in the afterlife they imagined they would have. If they didn't go intact to Heaven, their atoms live on in that tree, those clouds, the dirt of my beloved Earth. It is easy to say hi if I miss them, even if I don't hear their voices in reply. To have them as long as I did was enough to add their essence into mine, so no one I loved is ever truly gone.

There will be another day you'll be up. My friend lived with chronic health problems almost her whole life. But she created happiness for herself. I miss the phone calls where we laughed ourselves silly over bad jokes. She died last year, but even if she is gone, I am still finding knowledge in her wisdom. Because of her, I look for joy, even if on some days, it is hard to see.

Cheers!