1st grade teacher. Everybody loved her.
I did too. But I went a different way.
I met, and married, someone else.
Yeah, I regret that.

...by a children's author, Jean Ingelow.

"I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered."

2 great son's out of it.
Thier mother? Not so much.
But I am happy with my guys.

I had written down earlier at work, instead of going home and taking a quick nap, only to wake up as the lotto was pulling the numbers, getting them all, searching my pockets for my ticket, then figuring out I never made it to the gas station to buy it.

That depressed me for a year, and wasted my time, but it all worked out as it should. My life was never as rich as it is today, and I would have never met my husband or had my family if I had won.

...in the end. What you initially described sounds like a nightmare to me. I've written down numbers that I've wanted to play but I don't follow the drawings enough to know if I've ever even come close. I most likely haven't but I wouldn't want to know otherwise.

I threw all the contents from my purse on the floor, I thought I bought it...but I was so exhausted I passed out in my work clothes on my bed, with the TV on, woke up to see them picking the numbers...saw the numbers, and knew they were the ones I specifically chose.

When I realized I never got back up after I took a nap and did not stop before, I was broken...it was millions. It makes me smile and my eyes water a bit.

Married too young. Three children. Didn't go to college. I could go on and on.

Except the kids part.
Also, never learned a musical instrument.

But i can't change things now, just go on. I just look ahead.

Last edited Thu Apr 17, 2025, 03:00 PM - Edit history (1)

I was bullied as a young girl, and I mistakenly thought that bullying someone else would make me feel better about myself. I was very wrong, and I regret doing it. I wish I could go back in time and undo it.

It's about how I treated some people while young. I can see the immaturity from a mile away now and I'm ashamed by it. It doesn't consume me, but I think about it now and again.

P.S. I'm still immature, but in a different way. You'll know that if you read my posts here.

any changes I would have made could have changed this.

Common sense.
I did not realize until too late that I was getting through the right doors with the wrong people.

More than one “big break” burned.

Live and learn.

They said it would be too hard for women to get work in the field. If it were me today, I'd tell them to fold it in 5 corners and stick it where the sun don't shine, lol.

But my life has worked out pretty well regardless.

That random event was meeting my wife.

If I knew that I could change something and still have her, I would do what my son is doing, have become a nuclear engineer. I love chemistry - I really do - but in offering service to humanity in these times, nuclear engineering would be it.

Before I was married, maybe a couple of younger love interests that my shyness at the time held me back from pursuing. Been married for 38 years, so can't say it didn't work out just fine otherwise.

Changed majors in college and wondered how my career would have been different had I not done so. As a result of changing, I delayed any possible graduation, which ultimately meant that my degree was earned several years later from a different school after going at night. Still ended up earning a degree, but would have liked to graduate from the first one with my friends. Now I did meet my wife in between, which ended up being the best decision I ever made.

Worked in a field I wanted, but in a role that at times wasn't very fulfilling. Managed to stay employed my whole career and earned a decent enough living, so could have been worse.

Also, there was a local sports figure I enjoyed watching as a fan, who had a small business in my home town. Never went over there as I didn't want to bother him. After he retired from competing, I was able to become friends with him, and wish I would have taken the opportunity to do that years earlier.

all these years. All my friends left after High school and found better jobs and places to live.

My Dad talked me out of going to law school. He then bullied me into marrying my first husband, big mistakes.

learned how to type.

That's about it.

Life goes on.

Hopefully in the next life!

First 10 years it was great - now it's a POS. Often wonder what would have happened had I chosen Oregon.

It's how well you live that life that really counts.

Is the Pope Catholic?

I was bullied a lot, and lived for years just trying not to be noticed.

about self esteem until I was well into adulthood. More a yearning than regret. Regretting not knowing who I was as a child. Too afraid of abuse.

through to where I am.

In my case, mostly young ladies.

I played the tough guy, the cool guy, the aloof guy, the smart guy, the fun guy, the daring guy.

All along I should have just been myself.

— especially at 4 a.m.

Over the years I’ve tried to focus on gratitude for my many instances of good luck (including narrowly avoiding certain death at least four times that I can remember).

I am also grateful for all the times I dodged the temptation to do something wrong, stupid, or destructive and instead practiced restraint.

I don’t mean to hijack your thread, and I hope this response doesn’t come across as sanctimonious, but this is the way I see it.

Even the things I strongly regret missing out on could well have been disasters if I’d gotten what I wanted at the time. Not getting the girl(s) of my dreams to fall for me? Failing to pursue the hot job or go to the right school? Not traveling here or there, not learning this or that language? Sure.

But I think I agree with the writer George Saunders, who said his greatest regrets are about times he failed to be as kind as he could have been. This blog post by James Clear includes a transcript of his remarkable 2013 Syracuse University commencement speech elaborating on this thought:
https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches/failures-of-kindness-by-george-saunders

I was painfully shy for a long time when I was younger. Never really put myself out there or did things I really wanted to do, instead of playing it safe and avoiding conflict.

I always wanted to be a drummer, but as a suburban kid in the 70s I had never heard of a girl being a rock drummer.

This is a Peruvian box drum that’s not terribly expensive and is easy to play. There are traditional ones that you sit on and play by leaning over and hitting the front with your hands (but they can make your back sore after a while if you’re not careful), and nowadays there are laptop or “slaptop” versions, as well as smaller boxes that hang around the player’s neck.

I know an exceptional drummer who uses a “slaptop” cajon instead of a traditional drum set on gigs.

Most lesson places have 2 drumsets for you to learn on. Feel free to message me if you want to do this I can prob help.

I went to school to get a BA and my friends went to a MRS degree. I knew on the honeymoon I made a mistake. But luckily I escaped by not getting pregnant ( which my Mother constantly reminded me to take birth control pills). But fate puts you in different places and A year later I met the guy who saw me across the dance floor and he was patient with me and we dated for 3 years and the next month I’ll be married for 36 to my best friend and husband.

That marriage lasted about 14 years too long. Like you I knew after our honeymoon that I had made a mistake. He was a very nice guy, smart with great potential and we had a lot of fun together when we were both in college and were surrounded by a lot of mutual friends with common experiences. When we had to start over in a new place, without those friends I felt lost at sea. The last 3 years were an unmitigated disaster and I regret that I did not divorce him sooner. There were no abuse issues, or drugs, alcohol or anything like that it just wasn't right.

Then we should have moved to a bluer state of foreign country before we got to old.

I was held back and did the "right" thing by staying in high school until age 20.
I was told I would be a failure if I quit, but the school just wanted the money allocated to an enrolled student.

Not that I think I did/do a bad job, but I could damn sure do a lot more.

I've looked back at my life on a number of occasions and asked my "What if I ....what would the result be." I'd have different outcomes which would have had a ripple effect throughout my life. There are things could have done or accomplished, places to go, people to meet, as well as times when I could have done something different. Sometimes it's just plain luck that got me through and sometimes it way luck that avoided me. In the end, everything we've said, did, or didn't do has brought us to this point in time; the person we are today.

I don't dwell on my past decisions, good or bad, because I can't change past decisions and expect a new outcome. There are too many variables in our lives that would alter our personal timeline as well as the timelines of others. It's a variation of the Butterfly Effect where a butterfly in China flaps its wings causing the air around it to move eventually causing a hurricane on the opposite side of Earth. We change someth8ng in our life might mean we don't meet someone which affects their life and as a result affect another person's life and so on.

So, no I don't have any regrets and I content with my past and my present.

I traveled the world for my job.
I played in actively gigging bands for 30 years (over 2,000 gigs)
I got a good education in multiple disciplines.
We recently celebrated our 45th anniversary.
I retired to an income higher than what I made for working.
No complaints from me.

I had called my dad … had just watched a movie about t cullin Davis … lived in Amarillo during the trial … but looked at the clock and decided it was too late to call …

He died during the night ….

Should have made the call



ETA …

It’s never what I have done that I regret … always what I did not do.

Since that time, I have made a conscious effort to never put off those calls or visits … life is uncertain, live it while you can

1. Not joining the military straight out of high school
2. Not making more of an effort with that girl I liked so long ago

Most being that I should not have listened to certain people over the years.

Some that are related to me. Sigh.

As Sinatra sang "regrets I have a few...but I did it my way."

Or did I?

I married right before graduating. I very much regret letting him push me into getting married then instead of later. I will always believe that was the first contributing factor to realizing I made the wrong decision. I also believe that if I had stood my ground on when we were to get married, I would have ended up not marrying him.

This may seem trivial but I regret not joining the Sorority all my friends were in. It's hard to explain how it happened but I wish I had done that.

Not getting the Masters in Library Science I had originally wanted.

This is a biggie: Not asking my dad more about his experiences during the war. Not asking my grandfather more about his life.

Is, I wish I was a better listener. I work on it every day.

It's a bane of existence for me.