Was the the principal of it.

True story

to an OLD hard-of-hearing priest.

He confessed that he'd killed ants.

"WHAT? YOU KILLED A MAN?!!"

LOL! True story .

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful woman.

“I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the 75K asking price,” said the man. “Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insisted there could be no discounts on this model,”

“Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just look at her. How could I resist?” replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys.

“There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, grandpa.”

GREAT ONE!

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

Back in the 'Wild West' days, a city boy from the east decided that he wanted to become a First Nations person instead. So, he sold everything he had, bought a trained horse, and set out to find a village. After a long time traveling, he managed to find one and have meeting with their chief. He agreed that the man could join the tribe but he must follow all tribal customs on pain of death. The first one was that no one... NO ONE... may mess around with the chief's daughter. The man felt that this was understandable and he agreed to the rules. They held a ceremony and the man was joined into the tribe. It was at the ceremony that the man saw the chief's daughter for the first time. And, he was smitten instantly. He knew that he was not supposed to try to woo the daughter, but once they got to talking he could tell that she found him appealing. They finally succumbed to their feeling and snuck off to find a secluded spot. Unfortunately, they were caught. The chief was furious. The council convened and agreed that the man must be put to death for breaking the most sacred tribal law.

The man was brought before the chief and told of his fate. The chief said that according to custom, a condemned man may make three requests of the tribe before he is put to death. The man tells the chief that he needs to talk to his horse. The chief agrees and the man walks over and whispers into the horse's ear. The horse charges off. The chief asks where the horse went. The man just replied to hold on a moment. The horse returns in short order with a dazzling blonde female on the back. She is nude. The chief raises his eyebrows and offers his teepee for the man to use.

After the man returns, the chief asks for the second request. The man replied that he would have to talk to his horse again. The chief agrees and the man walks over and whispers into the horses ear, a bit more forcefully this time. The horse bolts off. The chief asks where the horse went, The man just replies to hold on a moment. The horse returns in short order with an even more dazzling redhead. She is also nude. The chief raises his eyebrows and offers his teepee for the man to use.

After the man returns, the chief asks for his final request. The man replies that he needs to talk to his horse, but first he requests that the entire village go to the Weeping Rock, high in the mountains. The chief thinks that this is odd, but it is a condemned man's last request, so he orders the village to the Weeping Rock. Now the village is empty, save for the chief, the man, and his horse. The chief then asks for his final request. The man turns towards his horse, cups his hands to his mouth, and yells:

"POSSE! I SAID... POSSE!!"

(Takes bow)