'I'm His Lawyer,' Explains Guy With Tongue In Trump's Bottom Who Wants To Be AG

Oops, Todd Blanche told the truth during his confirmation hearing today. (Just once, don’t worry, the rest was his usual lying, obfuscating, and trying to play cute when he’s nowhere near attractive enough to pull off “playing cute.”)

Republican Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana was trying to make it OK that Trump’s next attorney general will be his personal lawyer, his fart tester, his next Roy Cohn — Trump’s original Roy Cohn is in hell — who hasn’t for one second abandoned that role while abusing his position as deputy attorney general and now (acting) AG.

“Are you and President Trump friends?” asked Kennedy.

“I’m his lawyer. Was his lawyer! And now I’m the deputy attorney general. So I met him as his criminal defense attorney. I’m not sure there’s very many people who have ever had a criminal defense attorney who calls that person their friend,” Blanche babbled on and on, deftly refusing to address the point, even though it was a friendly Republican senator.

We get it dude. You live inside Trump’s asshole, you do what he says, you’re his special little pomeranian in charge of dramatically barking at things and biting ankles and meting out retribution against Daddy’s enemies, and now that your roommate inside Trump’s asshole Lindsey Graham is dead, you finally get the whole place to yourself.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/im-his-lawyer-explains-guy-with-tongue