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FakeNoose

(41,801 posts)
Fri Apr 10, 2026, 09:04 AM 9 hrs ago

The Borowitz Report: BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania



Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/breaking-another-statement-from-melania

BREAKING: In the early hours of Friday, when everyone else at the White House was fast asleep, Melania Trump made the following statement:

Good morning.

The lies linking me with the disgraceful Donald J. Trump need to end today.

The individuals lying about me are devoid of ethical standards, humility, and respect. I do not object to their ignorance, but rather, I reject their mean-spirited attempts to defame my reputation by linking me to the most hated man on the planet.

I have never been friends with Trump. I was invited to the same parties as him from time to time, since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach. When I saw him at one of those parties, I realized it was a party full of grifters and low-lifes, and immediately left.

To be clear, I never had a relationship with Trump or his accomplices, JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, and especially Stephen Miller. The thought of having a relationship with any of them makes me want to hurl.

... [snip] ...

Now is the time for Congress to act. Trump is not alone. To commit his crimes he has had the help not only of the toadies in his Cabinet but from a pack of slimy oligarchs such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos. I call for thorough, Nuremberg-style hearings to bring all of these despicable traitors to justice.

Then, and only then, will we have the truth.
- more at link -

Boom!

3 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The Borowitz Report: BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania (Original Post) FakeNoose 9 hrs ago OP
She also failed to deny the YouTube rumor that she is NOT the mother of Barron. GreenWave 9 hrs ago #1
That attorney Melania just hired "to combat reports and rumors linking her to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein" sop 9 hrs ago #2
No, her goal is to be a young(ish) wealthy widow FakeNoose 6 hrs ago #3

GreenWave

(12,671 posts)
1. She also failed to deny the YouTube rumor that she is NOT the mother of Barron.
Fri Apr 10, 2026, 09:10 AM
9 hrs ago

What to make of it then?

sop

(18,759 posts)
2. That attorney Melania just hired "to combat reports and rumors linking her to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein"
Fri Apr 10, 2026, 09:13 AM
9 hrs ago

is really a divorce lawyer. At least that's what some people are saying.

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