LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Reacting to the huge number of Britons who came out to greet him on Wednesday, Donald J. Trump boasted that former President Barack Obama “never got crowds like this” when he visited the United Kingdom.

“I mean, the streets are packed with people chanting my name,” he bragged. “And tons of them are carrying signs with ‘Trump’ on them. Wow!”

“I’m told there are even balloons that look like me,” he added in amazement. “If Obama is watching this on TV, it’s gotta be killing him.”

The biggest crowds for Trump were in London, where thousands turned out at Buckingham Palace for the changing of the diaper.