Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

FakeNoose

(38,674 posts)
Mon Sep 8, 2025, 10:46 PM Sep 8

The Borowitz Report: Trump Furious at Having to Pay All His Hard-earned Bribes to E. Jean Carroll



Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-furious-at-having-to-pay-all

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Appearing on Fox News Channel Monday night, Donald J. Trump said he was “furious” that an appeals court was forcing him to pay “all my hard-earned bribes” to the writer E. Jean Carroll.

“For the last eight months, I’ve been working my ass off, shaking down universities, law firms, and media companies,” he told Sean Hannity. “And now I’m supposed to hand over all of those bribes to this lady, who hasn’t bribed a single person in her life?’

”This should never be allowed to happen in this country,” he added.

Turning to another controversy, Trump claimed he “could never have drawn” the just-released Epstein picture due to hand spurs.

TBR Question of the Day: How would you like E. Jean Carroll to spend her $83 million? Leave your answer below:
- short article, no more at link -



I hope she takes possession of Mar-A-Lardo and immediately evicts all the former residents.

3 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The Borowitz Report: Trump Furious at Having to Pay All His Hard-earned Bribes to E. Jean Carroll (Original Post) FakeNoose Sep 8 OP
She's gonna give millions to domestic and sexual violence survivors Deuxcents Sep 8 #1
It's a small fraction of his bribes. He makes billions Klarkashton Sep 8 #2
With interest on the $83,000,000 it's now up to just about $90,000,000, heh-heh-heh. fierywoman Sep 9 #3

Klarkashton

(4,008 posts)
2. It's a small fraction of his bribes. He makes billions
Mon Sep 8, 2025, 10:58 PM
Sep 8

Playing president and raking in money from billionaires all over the world paying in to his crypto shit.
All the while stupid people in red states think they are getting no tax overtime. Hahahahaha. They aren't going to get shit.

Latest Discussions»Editorials & Other Articles»The Borowitz Report: Trum...