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The Borowitz Report: Trump Furious at Having to Pay All His Hard-earned Bribes to E. Jean Carroll

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-furious-at-having-to-pay-all
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Appearing on Fox News Channel Monday night, Donald J. Trump said he was furious that an appeals court was forcing him to pay all my hard-earned bribes to the writer E. Jean Carroll.
For the last eight months, Ive been working my ass off, shaking down universities, law firms, and media companies, he told Sean Hannity. And now Im supposed to hand over all of those bribes to this lady, who hasnt bribed a single person in her life?
This should never be allowed to happen in this country, he added.
Turning to another controversy, Trump claimed he could never have drawn the just-released Epstein picture due to hand spurs.
TBR Question of the Day: How would you like E. Jean Carroll to spend her $83 million? Leave your answer below:
- short article, no more at link -
For the last eight months, Ive been working my ass off, shaking down universities, law firms, and media companies, he told Sean Hannity. And now Im supposed to hand over all of those bribes to this lady, who hasnt bribed a single person in her life?
This should never be allowed to happen in this country, he added.
Turning to another controversy, Trump claimed he could never have drawn the just-released Epstein picture due to hand spurs.
TBR Question of the Day: How would you like E. Jean Carroll to spend her $83 million? Leave your answer below:


I hope she takes possession of Mar-A-Lardo and immediately evicts all the former residents.

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The Borowitz Report: Trump Furious at Having to Pay All His Hard-earned Bribes to E. Jean Carroll (Original Post)
FakeNoose
Sep 8
OP
Deuxcents
(24,058 posts)1. She's gonna give millions to domestic and sexual violence survivors
Klarkashton
(4,008 posts)2. It's a small fraction of his bribes. He makes billions
Playing president and raking in money from billionaires all over the world paying in to his crypto shit.
All the while stupid people in red states think they are getting no tax overtime. Hahahahaha. They aren't going to get shit.
fierywoman
(8,422 posts)3. With interest on the $83,000,000 it's now up to just about $90,000,000, heh-heh-heh.