Markwayne Mullin Wins 'Big P*ssy Scared Of Cities Award,' Everybody Good Luck Next Year!

Late-breaking entry in this week’s games!

What games, you ask? Why, the games of searching through the entire MAGA movement to find THE ONE white conservative man who is a scared-ier chickenshit microdick loser baby than all the rest, the one who gets the MOST scared when he walks down the street and sees a Black person, the one who is MOST likely to feel the need to take a gun with him when he goes to the bathroom, the Big Tough Man who is, you know, just the biggest pussy.

Obviously the backdrop here is Donald Trump, El Presidente Microdick, attacking and invading the nation’s capital because a large-headed boy named Big Balls allegedly got beat up by a 15-year-old girl and her 15-year-old friend, and now this is like their Reichstag Fire, except for instead of flames bellowing throughout the Reichstag, it is shits bellowing throughout all their panties.

We thought surely the winner of the Chickenshit Microdick Loser Baby Games would be Defense Secretary Pete “Shitfaced” Hegseth, because come on, name a bigger Chickenshit Microdick Loser Baby, we’ll wait. And he sure does always show us what a fearful little boy he is, always standing behind his Daddy Donald Trump and laughing at his jokes and always looking like he’s about to flinch.

And then yesterday we talked about Benny Johnson, oh boy, that guy, seemingly making up stories out of whole cloth about Washington DC being so scary they arsoned his baby during a nuclear cartel war while hurling racial slurs at him personally. What were those the racial slurs? Don’t care, probably something about mayonnaise.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/markwayne-mullin-wins-big-pssy-scared