the American economy wasn’t broke, but Mad King Donny sure fixed the shit out of it — and now, MAGA-babies everywhere are power-loading their diapers.

it wasn’t supposed to be like this! it’s not fair! Dear Leader promised that tariffs would make me rich! why are prices going up? why is my 401k in this shitter? why did I just lose my job?

what the fuck? so many colicky cultists are losing their shit right now that America is in grave danger of running out of binkies.



MAGA dutifully swallowed the fairy tale that “tariffs are a tax on other countries” hook, line and sinker — and now they’re all waking up to the fact that, once again, a spray-tanned con artist sold them a bill of goods.

check out this serene babe in the woods, just two days ago.

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“The tariffs are probably the best thing to happen to our country in decades. Getting ripped off had to end at some point.”

what a well-trained MAGA. Donny told him that America was getting ‘ripped off,’ and Anthony was happy to parrot that incoherent talking point til the cows came home. hey, I have a cool idea. let’s check back in with Tony, and see how those cows are mooing just one day later.

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“Tariffs have there place forsure but I work for a small company who produces smoked salmon and other fish which obviously can’t be ‘made’ here. It’s all imported. Starting next week our prices for buying and selling are going to skyrocket and in a month or so if Chile and other countries we import from don’t drop there tariffs to 0 then we are going to have to lay off half our work force. It’s bittersweet.”