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Pacifist Patriot

(25,218 posts)
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:41 PM 15 hrs ago

My dad has been referred to a palliative facility for hospice care.

The doctors have been wonderfully direct, honest, and compassionate simultaneously. It's clear we're talking days not weeks or months. Everyone involved is clear eyed about that.

He's been telling anyone who enters his hospital room that he's celebrating his 60 year 6 month anniversary with the woman of his dreams today. I have never taken my good fortune to be his daughter for granted a single day of my life. We are a no drama warm progressive family and no one could hand pick better. If you're religious, we've been blessed. If you're not, the draw of the universe fell in our favor.

We're talking about a man who survived polio in 1954, the Vietnam war in 1969, throat cancer in 1995, bladder cancer in 2006, a heart valve replacement in 2013 and lung cancer gets him in the end. He's my Energizer Bunny, my inspiration, my biggest cheerleader, and the best model of what it means to be a patriot. The man showed up at every No King's Rally, including the most recent one on March 28 after his terminal diagnosis. Because that's how important the future of our country is.

But GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!! I really wanted him to witness Trump's demise before he left this earth. And I know he did too...(and so do the lot of his absolutely phenomenal can't say enough good things about them care team - no secrets in the PCU!)

Thanks for listening. I'm the one holding the family together right now so just needed to let it out somewhere. Whew

53 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My dad has been referred to a palliative facility for hospice care. (Original Post) Pacifist Patriot 15 hrs ago OP
I'm sorry MustLoveBeagles 15 hrs ago #1
Sending you vibes, strength, and healing. Been there and it hurts. ms liberty 15 hrs ago #2
Your Dad sounds like a gem. democrank 15 hrs ago #3
Take as much time with him as you can and share good memories Maeve 15 hrs ago #4
Nothing prepares us. Stay encouraged, Pacifist Patriot. ❤️ littlemissmartypants 15 hrs ago #5
May he have a peaceful journey mcar 15 hrs ago #6
Healing vibes on the way to you and your family SheltieLover 14 hrs ago #7
My deepest and most sincere condolences. AltairIV 14 hrs ago #8
Sending you and family peaceful vibes virgdem 14 hrs ago #9
I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time. brer cat 14 hrs ago #10
Too sad malaise 14 hrs ago #11
sending patience, love and peace to you, your Dad and family RT Atlanta 14 hrs ago #12
Sounds like he had a good family Figarosmom 14 hrs ago #13
Pacifist Patriot, I am so sorry for your loss. BComplex 14 hrs ago #14
Your op touched my heart. A lovely tribute from Ninga 14 hrs ago #15
Sending warmest wishes for strength and peace Grim Chieftain 14 hrs ago #16
My thoughts are with you and your family mgardener 13 hrs ago #17
Hey Pacifist Patriot - here's a hug: calimary 13 hrs ago #18
I'm sorry cate94 13 hrs ago #19
"" AllaN01Bear 13 hrs ago #20
I'm so sorry you are losing your wonderful dad. redwitch 13 hrs ago #21
Dad will have a ring side seat to watch TSF's demise and will likely still be at all the protests across the country all MLAA 13 hrs ago #22
I'm so sorry you're going this heartache JoseBalow 13 hrs ago #23
And the same to you, JoseBalow.. Permanut 12 hrs ago #34
Thank you, that means a lot to me JoseBalow 10 hrs ago #40
That shows what a big heart you have. Permanut 9 hrs ago #42
Sending you, your father, and your family love and light. HeartsCanHope 13 hrs ago #24
I'm so sorry Danmel 13 hrs ago #25
You are blessed to have had him as your father. We should all be so lucky to have someone like that in our life. Katinfl 13 hrs ago #26
Your Dad sounds like a great egg. applegrove 13 hrs ago #27
I'm very sorry. GentryDixon 12 hrs ago #28
My condolences to you and your family. yellow dahlia 12 hrs ago #29
Keeping y'all in my thoughts ZDU 12 hrs ago #30
we are here to listen.... markie 12 hrs ago #31
What a great tribute, Pacifist Patriot.. Permanut 12 hrs ago #32
So sorry! Strength to you all. electric_blue68 12 hrs ago #33
♥️ ♥️ ♥️ a kennedy 12 hrs ago #35
He must be an extraordinary man hamsterjill 11 hrs ago #36
Sending you strength and peace senseandsensibility 11 hrs ago #37
I'm so sorry Raine 11 hrs ago #38
I'm so sorry. Spend as much time with him as you can. sinkingfeeling 10 hrs ago #39
About 10 years ago, my former father in law went into palliative care LetMyPeopleVote 9 hrs ago #41
Holding you and your family and your care team in light and love. niyad 8 hrs ago #43
Your Dad sounds like a wonderful man, and you are doing a great job. c-rational 8 hrs ago #44
oh my Skittles 7 hrs ago #45
I'm so sorry. area51 5 hrs ago #46
Laying one's burden down Dear_Prudence 5 hrs ago #47
We are in the same boat seta1950 5 hrs ago #48
Holding you and your dad in my thoughts flamingdem 2 hrs ago #49
Been there, done that. First time with my father, next time with my mother, state of stupid 1 hr ago #50
It sounds as if both he and you possess the strength for this journey. May LoisB 1 hr ago #51
... biocube 1 hr ago #52
Sending love, hugs and prayers gademocrat7 51 min ago #53

MustLoveBeagles

(17,996 posts)
1. I'm sorry
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:46 PM
15 hrs ago

At least he lived a good life. Hugs and condolences to you. I'll send you some healing vibes.

democrank

(12,703 posts)
3. Your Dad sounds like a gem.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:51 PM
15 hrs ago

Treasure every moment you have with him. Sending strength and love.

Maeve

(43,524 posts)
4. Take as much time with him as you can and share good memories
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 02:52 PM
15 hrs ago

I was the only one with my mom and she went moments after I was told she was dying (less than 24 hours after the fall that killed her).
Treasure the time you have left, and don't second guess any decisions.

May you and your family bask in the love you have for each other and may memory be a blessing now and in the future.

mcar

(46,494 posts)
6. May he have a peaceful journey
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:01 PM
15 hrs ago

He sounds like a wonderful man - and you are wonderful kid! I've been in your shoes. It's so hard. But he's in the right place and surrounded by love.

And hey, maybe his wish will come true!

AltairIV

(1,073 posts)
8. My deepest and most sincere condolences.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:43 PM
14 hrs ago

Your father sounds like a wonderful man. as time passes may your memories of him warm your heart.

brer cat

(27,738 posts)
10. I'm sorry you are going through this difficult time.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:46 PM
14 hrs ago

I'm sending my best wishes for comfort and peace for him as he completes this journey, as well as for you and your family.

Figarosmom

(14,260 posts)
13. Sounds like he had a good family
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:51 PM
14 hrs ago

To spend his life with. I'm sure he's secure in knowing you and the rest of your family will be successful in ridding our nation of the orange menace. Let him rest now. Love and Peace.

BComplex

(9,999 posts)
14. Pacifist Patriot, I am so sorry for your loss.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:59 PM
14 hrs ago

What a remarkable man, and what a remarkable family he and your mom built together. I'm sending warm and supportive hugs to you through the ether here, and a special hug to your dad for all he has done.

Ninga

(9,041 posts)
15. Your op touched my heart. A lovely tribute from
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 03:59 PM
14 hrs ago

a loving offspring- it’s all we can hope for. A blessing indeed. Peace be with your Dad and your family. May the days ahead
land gently.

Grim Chieftain

(2,216 posts)
16. Sending warmest wishes for strength and peace
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:01 PM
14 hrs ago

as you and your loved ones face this difficult time. You are in my thoughts, Pacifist Patriot.

calimary

(91,196 posts)
18. Hey Pacifist Patriot - here's a hug:
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:12 PM
13 hrs ago

(((((((((((( * )))))))))))).

Glad you posted this here. I know there’s TONS of sympathy, empathy, and solidarity surrounding you from us at DU.

You’re exactly the kind of support he needs right now. And you’re being loving and supportive as can be. Just know you’re loved and cared about, ESPECIALLY with this difficult journey ahead of you. Please do post how it’s going, and keep us updated as much as you can (although I know you have other priorities on your mind right now). Everybody here will understand.

Sending lots of hugs and vibes of strength.

And if it’ll help, remember what DUer Skittles once said: “someone’s always here.” You won’t be going through this alone.

MLAA

(19,831 posts)
22. Dad will have a ring side seat to watch TSF's demise and will likely still be at all the protests across the country all
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:25 PM
13 hrs ago

at once until the entire lot of them are gone. I’m not religious but I certainly believe strongly in the beyond. ❤️

In the mean time may his passing be gentle and I’m sending your family the warmest wishes and hugs.

JoseBalow

(9,832 posts)
23. I'm so sorry you're going this heartache
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:35 PM
13 hrs ago

I know how painful and difficult this time is for you. I very recently went through a similar situation with my partner, and there is not much that can be said to help make it any better. Try to take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and there are people who care.

Please try to make the effort to be kind to yourself.

Permanut

(8,669 posts)
34. And the same to you, JoseBalow..
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:39 PM
12 hrs ago

I'm sorry for your loss; kind thoughts coming your way, special delivery.

HeartsCanHope

(1,773 posts)
24. Sending you, your father, and your family love and light.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:48 PM
13 hrs ago

Will be keeping you all in my thoughts.

Katinfl

(918 posts)
26. You are blessed to have had him as your father. We should all be so lucky to have someone like that in our life.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 04:57 PM
13 hrs ago

You will have wonderful memories to get you through the tough days ahead.

ZDU

(1,514 posts)
30. Keeping y'all in my thoughts
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:28 PM
12 hrs ago

... and sending waves of compassion and healing to you and your loved ones too

Permanut

(8,669 posts)
32. What a great tribute, Pacifist Patriot..
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:36 PM
12 hrs ago

and what a guy. We're never ready for these cycles of life. We celebrate him and his life now, and we will celebrate for him later.

electric_blue68

(27,668 posts)
33. So sorry! Strength to you all.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:37 PM
12 hrs ago

He's gone through a lot.
Sounds like a great guy.
Treasure each last moments togther.
Recall the best times.
Gentle

(I've been there)

a kennedy

(36,609 posts)
35. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 05:46 PM
12 hrs ago

It’s all been said here…….savor the good times, let him know how much he means to you, and just love him. 🙏🏻 ♥️

hamsterjill

(17,905 posts)
36. He must be an extraordinary man
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 06:20 PM
11 hrs ago

To have raised a daughter like you. Family is everything. The definition of family can be whatever anyone chooses it to be, whether biological or whatever.

I am so sorry for your situation. Like you, I had a dad that I looked up to and his loss was a hard thing. I wish your father a safe and peaceful passing when that time comes. Cherish every minute. Say what needs to be said, if anything. And just love one another.

Peace and comfort to you

senseandsensibility

(25,862 posts)
37. Sending you strength and peace
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 06:32 PM
11 hrs ago

I hope you and your dad can find both. Hang in there, Pacific Patriot.

LetMyPeopleVote

(183,279 posts)
41. About 10 years ago, my former father in law went into palliative care
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 08:09 PM
9 hrs ago

He had been in a hospital for several months. The palliative care doctors came in and recommended hospice. My kids and my ex-wife sort of nominated me to explain to my ex-mother-in-law and ex-father-in-law what this meant. The palliative care doctors were great but this was still no fun

The hospice was great. I remember making daily trips. My ex-mother-in-law basically camped out at the hospice. My ex-father-in-law had worked for former mayor Sylvester Turner who came to visit him. There is a concept in hospice care of the last good day. My ex-father in law's last good day was when Mayor Turner came to the Hospice. My ex-father-in-law was alert and had a great visit. The next day he declined drastically and had passed within the week.

I am sorry for your father. Hopefully you will get to spend some time with him at the hospice.

niyad

(134,810 posts)
43. Holding you and your family and your care team in light and love.
Thu Jun 11, 2026, 09:42 PM
8 hrs ago

Vibes for a gentle crossing, and peace and healing for all of you.

And, who knows, he may still see the orange scum gone!

Dear_Prudence

(1,205 posts)
47. Laying one's burden down
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 12:29 AM
5 hrs ago

We must all lay our burden down sometime-when we falter and at life's end. We find peace in the faith that our friends, family, and community, including the DU community, will carry on in our absence. I wish you and your family peace during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your dad's story, beautiful.

seta1950

(975 posts)
48. We are in the same boat
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 01:07 AM
5 hrs ago

My husband has stage 4 that has metastasized to his bones, take one step at a time and dead breaths. I’m sorry 😢

flamingdem

(40,989 posts)
49. Holding you and your dad in my thoughts
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 03:20 AM
2 hrs ago

There may still be time. We might get some clarity on the future soon. There might be real hope.

state of stupid

(233 posts)
50. Been there, done that. First time with my father, next time with my mother,
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 04:14 AM
1 hr ago

then with my father-in-law, then with my mother-in-law, then with my wife. I have a niece for
my final days, but she does not like talking about it. Please remember that this is not about you,
it is about them. Do everything you can in this time to remember who they are/were and celebrate
every second you can with no hesitation or regret. When it is all said and done, they will live on in
your and everyone who loved them memories. The pain stings every now and then but the memories
of whom they were and what they stood for erases a lot that pain and replaces it with a contentment
that cannot be explained, only felt.

LoisB

(13,679 posts)
51. It sounds as if both he and you possess the strength for this journey. May
Fri Jun 12, 2026, 04:30 AM
1 hr ago

The Universe take good care of him.

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