The AUDIT is a 10 question screening tool that, if answered honestly, gives an accurate insight into the existence and severity of one’s alcohol use problem.

I can’t imagine Patel would answer the questions honestly.

I guess that explains why he's willing to take it.

It measures sugar over intermediate term, but alcohol does contribute to sugar. I wonder if there are correlations between sugar and alcohol.

Alcoholics have a higher rate of diabetes, but an A1C test isn’t a screening tool for alcoholism.

test, so I don't think it's for A1C.

Slam them all down and say, "I didn't spill a drop. How can you say I have a drinking problem?"

Keep a video camera on him. Time will tell. DTs, like paranoia, strikes deep.

'They're putting Pink Elephants
Pink pink elephants
...
In new, improved Post Crispy Critters
The one and only cereal
That comes in the shape of animals'

Gadszooks, I am not only old but cursed with remembering every horrible product jingle from the 60s.

That particular test would require the subject to be truthful. He lies like a rug.

A live, televised biopsy of his liver.