Dear Donald Jabroni Trump,

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You are not a president.
You are a gold-plated fraud built on privilege, bluster, and the willingness to say whatever vile thing will get you five more minutes of attention.

You are always the loudest man in the room and at the same time, the smallest.
But perhaps worst of all, you are just so boring.
You are nothing more than a tired re-run.

This is not fake news.
We know that will be the next thing out of your mouth.
It’s always the next thing out of your mouth.

Someone says something true about you and you call it fake.
Every.
Single.
Time.
Like a toddler closing his eyes and thinking the world disappeared.

But nothing in this letter is fake.
No statement in this letter is made up.
Nothing in this letter is an exaggeration.
We did not have to exaggerate.
You are beyond exaggeration.
Fiction writers would be embarrassed to pitch a character as ridiculous as you.
Every word here is real.
Every name is real.
Renee Good was real.
Alex Pretti was real.
The children in cages are real.
The contractors you stiffed are real.
The students you scammed are real.
The bombs are real.
The dead are real.

There are court records.
Congressional testimony.
Video footage.
Your own words.
Your own posts.
Your own rallies.
You said these things into microphones in front of thousands of people and then called it fake when someone played it back.

That is not how fake works.

You do not get to say things out loud, on video, in public, and then pretend they did not happen.
You do not get to bankrupt businesses and call the resulting lawsuits fake.
You do not get to stare into a solar eclipse and call the sun fake.
You do not get to have your agents shoot a woman in the face and call her corpse fake.

Every fact in this letter can be verified.
Every claim sourced.
Every number checked.
We encourage it.
Go ahead.
Look it up.
Have someone read it to you.

This is not fake news.
This is your legacy.
This is what you did to the world.
Rest assured, history will remember you.
Just not the way you think.
It will not be kind.
And no amount of your incoherent bluster will make any of it go away.


With the warmest of regards and the smallest of words,
Everyone.