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LetMyPeopleVote

(180,288 posts)
Fri Apr 10, 2026, 09:18 AM 9 hrs ago

The Borowitz Report-BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania

BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

Powderkeg (@gloriapissedoff.bsky.social) 2026-04-10T13:09:46.583Z

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/breaking-another-statement-from-melania

BREAKING: In the early hours of Friday, when everyone else at the White House was fast asleep, Melania Trump made the following statement:

Good morning.

The lies linking me with the disgraceful Donald J. Trump need to end today.

The individuals lying about me are devoid of ethical standards, humility, and respect. I do not object to their ignorance, but rather, I reject their mean-spirited attempts to defame my reputation by linking me to the most hated man on the planet.

He be worst.

I have never been friends with Trump. I was invited to the same parties as him from time to time, since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach. When I saw him at one of those parties, I realized it was a party full of grifters and low-lifes, and immediately left.

To be clear, I never had a relationship with Trump or his accomplices, JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, and especially Stephen Miller. The thought of having a relationship with any of them makes me want to hurl.

Numerous fake images and statements about Trump and me have been circulating on social media for years now. Be cautious about what you believe. These images and stories are completely false.

I am not a witness or a named witness in connection with any of Trump’s crimes. I was never involved in any capacity—I was not a participant, was never on Trump’s plane, and never visited his hideous Palm Beach club.

The false smears linking me to Trump from mean-spirited and politically motivated individuals and entities looking to cause damage to my good name to gain financially and climb politically must stop.

Now is the time for Congress to act. Trump is not alone. To commit his crimes he has had the help not only of the toadies in his Cabinet but from a pack of slimy oligarchs such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos. I call for thorough, Nuremberg-style hearings to bring all of these despicable traitors to justice.

Then, and only then, will we have the truth.

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The Borowitz Report-BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania (Original Post) LetMyPeopleVote 9 hrs ago OP
The administration's moral ballast has spoken. VOA is now VOM. bucolic_frolic 9 hrs ago #1
Ha! This is good, people. Joinfortmill 9 hrs ago #2
Is this the onion? mitch96 8 hrs ago #3
Borowitz is another satire source LetMyPeopleVote 7 hrs ago #6
Kick dalton99a 8 hrs ago #4
ROFL malaise 8 hrs ago #5
Read between the lines, room. Kid Berwyn 6 hrs ago #7

bucolic_frolic

(55,299 posts)
1. The administration's moral ballast has spoken. VOA is now VOM.
Fri Apr 10, 2026, 09:24 AM
9 hrs ago

And let's not forget NFT artist.

/nt will now be /nft .... yes it means what you think

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