Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
Editorials & Other Articles
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Borowitz Report-BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania
BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania
— Powderkeg (@gloriapissedoff.bsky.social) 2026-04-10T13:09:46.583Z
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/breaking-another-statement-from-melania
BREAKING: In the early hours of Friday, when everyone else at the White House was fast asleep, Melania Trump made the following statement:
Good morning.
The lies linking me with the disgraceful Donald J. Trump need to end today.
The individuals lying about me are devoid of ethical standards, humility, and respect. I do not object to their ignorance, but rather, I reject their mean-spirited attempts to defame my reputation by linking me to the most hated man on the planet.
He be worst.
I have never been friends with Trump. I was invited to the same parties as him from time to time, since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach. When I saw him at one of those parties, I realized it was a party full of grifters and low-lifes, and immediately left.
To be clear, I never had a relationship with Trump or his accomplices, JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, and especially Stephen Miller. The thought of having a relationship with any of them makes me want to hurl.
Numerous fake images and statements about Trump and me have been circulating on social media for years now. Be cautious about what you believe. These images and stories are completely false.
I am not a witness or a named witness in connection with any of Trumps crimes. I was never involved in any capacityI was not a participant, was never on Trumps plane, and never visited his hideous Palm Beach club.
The false smears linking me to Trump from mean-spirited and politically motivated individuals and entities looking to cause damage to my good name to gain financially and climb politically must stop.
Now is the time for Congress to act. Trump is not alone. To commit his crimes he has had the help not only of the toadies in his Cabinet but from a pack of slimy oligarchs such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos. I call for thorough, Nuremberg-style hearings to bring all of these despicable traitors to justice.
Then, and only then, will we have the truth.
Good morning.
The lies linking me with the disgraceful Donald J. Trump need to end today.
The individuals lying about me are devoid of ethical standards, humility, and respect. I do not object to their ignorance, but rather, I reject their mean-spirited attempts to defame my reputation by linking me to the most hated man on the planet.
He be worst.
I have never been friends with Trump. I was invited to the same parties as him from time to time, since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach. When I saw him at one of those parties, I realized it was a party full of grifters and low-lifes, and immediately left.
To be clear, I never had a relationship with Trump or his accomplices, JD Vance, Pete Hegseth, and especially Stephen Miller. The thought of having a relationship with any of them makes me want to hurl.
Numerous fake images and statements about Trump and me have been circulating on social media for years now. Be cautious about what you believe. These images and stories are completely false.
I am not a witness or a named witness in connection with any of Trumps crimes. I was never involved in any capacityI was not a participant, was never on Trumps plane, and never visited his hideous Palm Beach club.
The false smears linking me to Trump from mean-spirited and politically motivated individuals and entities looking to cause damage to my good name to gain financially and climb politically must stop.
Now is the time for Congress to act. Trump is not alone. To commit his crimes he has had the help not only of the toadies in his Cabinet but from a pack of slimy oligarchs such as Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos. I call for thorough, Nuremberg-style hearings to bring all of these despicable traitors to justice.
Then, and only then, will we have the truth.
7 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The Borowitz Report-BREAKING: Another Statement From Melania (Original Post)
LetMyPeopleVote
9 hrs ago
OP
bucolic_frolic
(55,299 posts)1. The administration's moral ballast has spoken. VOA is now VOM.
And let's not forget NFT artist.
/nt will now be /nft .... yes it means what you think
Joinfortmill
(21,266 posts)2. Ha! This is good, people.
mitch96
(15,818 posts)3. Is this the onion?
LetMyPeopleVote
(180,288 posts)6. Borowitz is another satire source
dalton99a
(94,410 posts)4. Kick
malaise
(296,524 posts)5. ROFL
Kid Berwyn
(24,540 posts)7. Read between the lines, room.