Iran Allows Ship Loaded With Epstein Files Through Strait of Hormuz

SATIRE

Andy Borowitz
Apr 08, 2026

TEHRAN (The Borowitz Report)—In its first act of goodwill since the declaration of a ceasefire, on Wednesday Iran permitted a container ship loaded with copies of the Epstein files to pass through the Strait of Hormuz.

“In recent weeks, the closure of the Strait has cut off the world’s supply of Epstein files,” an Iranian government statement read. “Now, those files will flow freely to the four corners of the globe.”

Although Iran is charging vessels millions for safe passage through the Strait, “We are sending the Epstein files through free of charge,” the statement indicated.

The Iranians said they had taken Donald J. Trump's threat to destroy their civilization “very seriously,” noting, "We see what he's already done to American civilization."
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